Funny WoW post

[Tacks]

If you play at all you might think this is humorous

I uncovered these patch notes when sneaking into the Blizz building pretending to be a Culligan water fountain replacer...

Okay folks, we have a lot of changes to cover so we'll get right to it:

Class Changes
---

Rogue

* Stealth is now completely undetectable.
* Evicerate is now a gauranteed critical hit.
* Poisens now do not require items for mixing, it is now an innate ability of the class.
* Agility now decides 100% of combat damage, while any points assigned to Strength are converted to Immunity in any battle for up that many seconds. (Ex: A Rogue with 60 Str is immune to all damage for the first 60 seconds of any battle)
* Rogues can now wield up to four daggers utilizing their feet.
* Special abilities no longer miss....ever.
* Sap is now an AE attack, affecting all mobs within a 10 yard radius, that is usable regardless of the player being stealthed or visible. It can be used on any mob that is eithe r in or out of combat and has no cooldown timer.
* Cheap shot can now be used out of stealth mode as well. In addition, the cooldown for this ability has been removed along with the cooldowns for Gouge, Kidney Punch and Kick.


Mage

* Polymorph now turns the target into an Elder Wyrm with 7000 hp's, and the ability for the targeted player to attack using either devastating melee attacks, or of course...fire-breath.
* Pyroblast now has a 60 minute cooldown counter, and a casting time of 15 seconds.
* Fireballs now have a 10% chance of igniting the casters hands on fire, rendering the player unable to pick up or hold any objects for 7 days.
* Frost Nova has been removed...because it's obviously a ridiculous spell.
* Cloth armor has been replaced by Tissue armor. This armor can be found on various mobs in either one or two ply. It has roughly 1/3rd the armor as cloth does.
* Silly pointed mage hats now have a 4% chance of covering the caster's eyes preventing them from accurately targeting.
* Due to the natural frailty of mages, riding a mount can cause hip or pelvic injuries requiring medical attention.
* Counterspell has been replaced with Doublespell and MUST be located next to the most-used item on every Mages hotbar to ensure they have a high probability of accidentally hitting it.
* Conjur food and water will most likely result in death for the caster, we'll compile some probability numbers for you guys soon.

Priest

Nerfed completely.


Zones
---
All zones and dungeons have been opened and completely itemized. Special attention was paid to the human lands for levels 25-35 and horde lands levels 1-30.

Booty Bay is now PvP mandatory. Anyone seen by a GM not attacking lower level players while they try to quest or access their bank will be banned immediately.

Stormwind now has a Red Light District...nuff said.


Items
---
Tons of new daggers have been added for all levels.

We accidentally spilled some coffee on the equipment storing the data for all 1h and 2h swords, maces and axes...staves, wands, bows, guns and spears. Sorry about that folks. No word as of yet as to whether or not any of you will get your gear back.

Plate/Mail armor boots now have a 2% chance to "proc" Athelete's Foot. It is irreversable once contracted.


On a final note, we'd just like to say....there's no Hunter this patch. We actually had no plan to have that class at all. It was really just a big joke Sorry guys.

[The Kizzy]

Im guessing this guy plays a rogue? That was pretty funny.

[Tossica]

Not funny.

[Tacks]

Do you play, fuckface? No...then you wouldn't understand.

[Tossica]

Yeah, I fucked my GF's face last night actually. That's my favorite game.

[The Kizzy]

LOL

[Tacks]

AHUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR OMGZ FUNNAY LIMIT EXCEEDED no, still a fagmaster

[The Kizzy]

He really does sound like that when he laughs too.

[Tacks]

Do you play, fuckface? No...then you wouldn't understand.

see that now?

[Lyion]

Given who's designing this game, I can see this happening.. Sad

If you play at all you might think this is humorous

I uncovered these patch notes when sneaking into the Blizz building pretending to be a Culligan water fountain replacer...

Okay folks, we have a lot of changes to cover so we'll get right to it:

Class Changes
---

Rogue

* Stealth is now completely undetectable.
* Evicerate is now a gauranteed critical hit.
* Poisens now do not require items for mixing, it is now an innate ability of the class.
* Agility now decides 100% of combat damage, while any points assigned to Strength are converted to Immunity in any battle for up that many seconds. (Ex: A Rogue with 60 Str is immune to all damage for the first 60 seconds of any battle)
* Rogues can now wield up to four daggers utilizing their feet.
* Special abilities no longer miss....ever.
* Sap is now an AE attack, affecting all mobs within a 10 yard radius, that is usable regardless of the player being stealthed or visible. It can be used on any mob that is eithe r in or out of combat and has no cooldown timer.
* Cheap shot can now be used out of stealth mode as well. In addition, the cooldown for this ability has been removed along with the cooldowns for Gouge, Kidney Punch and Kick.


Mage

* Polymorph now turns the target into an Elder Wyrm with 7000 hp's, and the ability for the targeted player to attack using either devastating melee attacks, or of course...fire-breath.
* Pyroblast now has a 60 minute cooldown counter, and a casting time of 15 seconds.
* Fireballs now have a 10% chance of igniting the casters hands on fire, rendering the player unable to pick up or hold any objects for 7 days.
* Frost Nova has been removed...because it's obviously a ridiculous spell.
* Cloth armor has been replaced by Tissue armor. This armor can be found on various mobs in either one or two ply. It has roughly 1/3rd the armor as cloth does.
* Silly pointed mage hats now have a 4% chance of covering the caster's eyes preventing them from accurately targeting.
* Due to the natural frailty of mages, riding a mount can cause hip or pelvic injuries requiring medical attention.
* Counterspell has been replaced with Doublespell and MUST be located next to the most-used item on every Mages hotbar to ensure they have a high probability of accidentally hitting it.
* Conjur food and water will most likely result in death for the caster, we'll compile some probability numbers for you guys soon.

Priest

Nerfed completely.


Zones
---
All zones and dungeons have been opened and completely itemized. Special attention was paid to the human lands for levels 25-35 and horde lands levels 1-30.

Booty Bay is now PvP mandatory. Anyone seen by a GM not attacking lower level players while they try to quest or access their bank will be banned immediately.

Stormwind now has a Red Light District...nuff said.


Items
---
Tons of new daggers have been added for all levels.

We accidentally spilled some coffee on the equipment storing the data for all 1h and 2h swords, maces and axes...staves, wands, bows, guns and spears. Sorry about that folks. No word as of yet as to whether or not any of you will get your gear back.

Plate/Mail armor boots now have a 2% chance to "proc" Athelete's Foot. It is irreversable once contracted.


On a final note, we'd just like to say....there's no Hunter this patch. We actually had no plan to have that class at all. It was really just a big joke Sorry guys.

[Solaar Powar]

Don't play so it make no sense, however if any one would like to give me their beta slot I'd be happy to make a more informed opinion.

[The Kizzy]

I sent an email , trying to get 5 accounts. He said they closed Beta all together, so he will have to see what he can do. I will let you guys know.

[The Kizzy]

oh, and one is spoken for by someone who doesnt come to these boards, sorry

[Tacks]

Tate?

[The Kizzy]

duh

[labbats]

Taint?