Goals, the first real step to success.

[Mop]

We are usually directed to focus on the "Physical" aspects of interaction with our clients since "exercise" is the foundation of our careers. There is, however, another element to "exercise" that involves mental conditioning and with a concern for balance between the physical and mental states of your clients, your ability to manifest dramatic results is powerfully magnified. The Following article is a direct excerpt from my new book, "Personal Training Profits and A Secure Fitness Future".

Let me share some ideas for keeping your own motivation high and using that motivation to move you consistently toward greater levels of success and achievement. I'll teach you how powerful decision making can be. Sometimes the simplest things are capable of stimulating the most impressive changes.

I shared the following information with some of my consulting clients in January of 2000 and within weeks I was receiving positive feedback that even I found surprising in its dimension. One individual told me he doubled his weekly income in only two weeks! Another told me that by applying the information I shared she found herself being retained as the "fitness consultant" for the local news program. I hope to hear similar reports from you! The rest of this chapter will involve some very simple exercises. Not physical exercises, but stimulus for improvement just the same. Here goes . . .

Take a moment and think about anything you're proud of. Anything you've done or achieved that contributes to a sense of pride when you describe or think about it. Go ahead. Take that moment now.

You shouldn't be reading any further until you've done at least a minute's worth of thinking. It's amazing, but many people that I've met with find that in itself a chore. Directed thinking for a minute!

Now, I'm going to ask you to think just a bit more. Think about what prompted you to take the actions necessary to accomplish the goal, command the performance, or achieve the achievement that makes you proud. If you think hard enough, you'll find it started with a decision!

My contact with you started with a decision, whether it was a decision to speak at a convention, promote a seminar, or to write a new book. The fact that you opened a health club, started a business, or became certified as a Personal Trainer began with a decision to do so. Far too often people condemn the need to make decisions.

"Man, work is getting really stressful. I have so many decisions to make."

"I can't decide where I want to live so I'm wasting money on rent every month."

"I can't decide which gym to join so I haven't been working out."

You've heard similar comments, and if you listen to enough people, you'll think that decisions are worse than the bubonic plague! That's why it's important that you stop letting negative people affect any influence over your life. Welcome decisions! The more you are faced with, the greater your potential to live your dreams! Decisions are not only powerful in directing outcomes, but they are an essential prerequisite of virtually anything worth achieving.

In my Professional consulting projects, I found that many fitness professionals are asking me to make decisions for them. In those cases I answer their questions with questions. Perhaps that 's rude in the outside world, but in my consulting arena it's an act of invaluable benefit. The questions I offer are not as much questions from me to the Professional as they are questions the Professional can ask him or herself. Why? Because asking me to make other people's decisions involves totally giving up their power! I don't want to take power, but rather to enhance it!

I'll offer advice, assistance, and insight, but if you are going to find more of those pride moments in your life, you're going to have to make firm decisions. Even bad decisions are better than no decision at all. Please don't misunderstand. I don't want to discourage you from asking "decision based" questions. Quite the opposite. I want to encourage you, but I also want to prepare you for my answers. If you ask me a question that begins with, "Phil, should I . . . ," only you have the ability to provide the answer that will best serve you. I see it as my role to facilitate that answer; thus I'll provide you with tools for making the decision. Those tools are usually Questions. Questions that you can ask yourself to facilitate the best decisions possible.

Questions are powerful. They stimulate your mind to decide. Sure, you should ask questions of others, but never neglect the brainpower that can be generated by intentionally asking questions of yourself. Why do I say "intentionally?" Well, because whether you choose to or not, you are asking questions. Many of us just do it subconsciously. What is thinking? It's actually a series of questions, answers, and decisions. "Which brand of cereal should I buy?" "Should I turn right or left here?" "Should I get up now or hit the snooze button and sleep another ten minutes?" Questions. Taking control of those questions can be very powerful in helping you to direct the way you think, to facilitate decisions, and to bring about more of those envied moments that we play back in our minds with pride.

Believe it or not, when I meet with top achievers, professional athletes or exceptional business people, they aren't any different than you are. They often simply ask better questions. In the case of a professional athlete, "Should I go to the gym?" is replaced by "what time should I go to the gym," or "what can I do to make my workout fun and effective today?" They may not ask these questions out loud, and unless you're a mind reader or a very inquisitive interviewer (as yours truly), you might never have known that great achievers ask great questions.

Among achievers, questions that facilitate empowering responses are common. When I meet with people who are frustrated, knowing they can achieve more, but somehow incessantly "stuck," they are almost always asking failure-oriented questions prior to developing the awareness. "Why does this always happen to me?" If you ask that question, your brain will find an answer, and it probably won't be pretty. Your brain might tell you you're not deserving of success, or you're not smart enough, strong enough, or rich enough. That doesn't mean you have a bad brain. It just means you're feeding your hungry brain the wrong brain food.

When faced with an unexpected disaster, a top achiever would usually ask, not "why does this always happen to me," but "how can I benefit from this experience," or, "how can I prevent this from happening in the future?" I know, on a surface level it appears simplistic, but put into action, asking BETTER QUESTIONS will absolutely bring about more powerful decisions. Once you decide, you've set a goal in motion. Whether or not you'll follow through is governed greatly by . . . you guessed it . . . the questions you ask. "What can I do right now to bring me one step closer to my goal" is the sort of question achievers ask themselves.

Just as your body becomes conditioned to handle squats, leg curls, and overhead presses, with directed practice your brain becomes conditioned to ask better questions. I've learned from many individuals who became quite adept at mental conditioning. I've since taught great numbers of people to better themselves by modifying their thought patterns. I want to give you the same gift. Don't get caught up in believing that because it's simple it's silly. All I ask is that you try what I'm about to suggest and you follow through for three weeks. At the end of a month, I absolutely guarantee you will have some new and exciting positive things happening in your career, your relationships, and your life.

Here's my simple suggestion and a simple three-week plan. Keep a notebook or pad next to your bed. For the first week, on the left side of a page keep track of the questions you catch yourself silently asking. You're going to have to "tune in" to your internal voice, that voice which psychologists refer to as your self-talk. Once you've identified a few of the questions your brain faces itself with, on the right side of the page write how you can modify those questions to make them more encouraging, more empowering, more action driven, more motivating. After a week you can whittle away at your list until you've identified ONLY three very motivating questions. I'd then suggest writing those three questions on their own page, and asking them, silently, or perhaps vocally, to yourself, every morning during the second week immediately upon waking. As you progress through week 2, write down some questions that might be similar, or different, that would serve to put you in a positive frame of mind before going to bed.

Examples:

"What action can I take tomorrow that will bring me one step closer to . . . "

"What things in my life am I thankful for?"

"What gifts do I possess?"

Remember, these are only suggestions to facilitate your decision making power. Don't use my questions. Come up with yours. I'm anxious to hear from you regarding the results that manifest only one month from today!

You guessed it. In Week #3 you're going to perform the morning question exercise and the evening question exercise. Every day.

I'm going to suggest you wait a month before you start passing this information or these simple exercises along to your clients. The reason is, just as you enthusiastically promote the virtues of a fitness lifestyle because you've had the experience of that lifestyle bringing benefit, once you benefit from this mental exercise your enthusiasm for mental conditioning will take off like a rocket! Your appreciation of the need and ability to make decisions will be at its peak.

Why do your clients need this? Think about it!!!! (yes, I'm asking you to think yet again, prompting you with . . . that's right . . . a question) You thought you needed motivational ideas. You thought you needed to reprimand them when they missed workouts. Now . . . you realize . . . you just need to help them make an adjustment in the way they think. You want them to ask better questions!

When I met Dave he told me he was a recovering cocaine addict, a bad example for his kids, and was very fat. One night (ready for this?) he went into the bathroom in the middle of the night to do a line of cocaine and looked in the mirror. He saw a skull staring back at him! Ask him and he'll swear it's the truth. Whether it was his Creator warning him, or the grim reaper coming to get him, it scared the daylights out of him. He flushed his cocaine down the toilet vowing never to do it again. Two weeks later he was pounding down beers and doing lines of cocaine watching a Monday night football game.

Before I tell you the happy ending, let's explore the questions . . . and the decisions . . . Dave was faced with. He would ask himself, "How long can I go without coke?" He would ask himself, "How long can I stand being around my friends without indulging?" Those questions led to decisions. Decisions to do that which he was so frightened by he sent it all down his plumbing. Dave didn't see himself as a man who had been through and overcome a cocaine problem. He saw himself as a cocaine addict! And where did that vision come from? That's right! The questions he asked.

Dave retained me as his trainer somewhere between the skull and the football game. As I came to know him he became more open with me. I realized that as long as he saw himself as "fat," his internal questions would be questions directed at a fat guy. Sure, he went through the workouts with me, but he had a very difficult time sticking to the nutritional regimen we discussed, minimizing alcohol intake, and staying away from his favorite food . . . french fries from McDonalds! I'll admit Dave wasn't typical. He was a tough case. I realized he had an addictive personality (I didn't have to be a detective for that one). I knew if we could make some shifts between his ears, he could become obsessed with a fitness lifestyle.

We spent weeks working on his self-talk. I insisted that he no longer think of himself as fat, but as a guy who, during a struggle in his life, had more fat on his body than he ultimately would. I know what the conventional wisdom teaches drug addicts. One day at a time. You're always in recovery. Screw that. It wasn't working for Dave. I had him change his self-talk to reflect that he wasn't a recovering drug addict, but rather a strong confident man in complete control of his life.

I taught Dave to identify his self-talk, and to modify it. Rather than "How long can I go without coke?" he began to ask himself, "What will make this day special leading to increased health, vitality, and love of life?" Rather than "How long can I stand being around my friends without indulging?" he began to ask himself, "Who do I choose to be with and how will they empower me to grow?" Three months later Dave's wife called me and insisted that I speak with her after Dave's next workout. She took me into the living room while Dave showered and confronted me. "I can't believe you'd put my husband on steroids!"

"Steroids?" That's the last thing in the world you'd ever find me recommending to a client . . . especially to one who had faced a drug challenge. "Why in the world do you think he's on steroids?"

"Because I've seen him for 15 years, trying to work out, and all of a sudden, in three months, he's grown more muscular than he was when we met!"

I was initially offended, but soon reinterpreted the comment to one that should be received as flattery. I of course assured her Dave was not using steroids and the very next week Dave's wife signed up for sessions with one of my trainers.

It's just one story of hundreds I've experienced where the shift came not from external motivation, but from an internal shift in . . . yes . . . questions. Ask the right questions and you make better decisions. Make better decisions and prepare to enjoy life at a higher level than you've ever even imagined!

I'm not asking you to become an expert psychologist. I'm just asking you to follow through on the simple exercise I gave you. I have a feeling every person you come in contact with on a professional level will soon benefit from you learning to ask better questions!

[Mop]

"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. They can have a powerful influence for good when they're on the positive side, and they can and do make you physically ill when they're on the negative side." Peace Pilgrim

Did you know that the average North American woman is five-foot-four, weighs 140 pounds and wears a size 14 dress? Yet the "ideal" woman portrayed by models and movie stars is five-foot-seven, weights 100 pounds and wears a size 8. What is wrong with this picture? Body dissatisfaction is at an all-time high among both men and women. Check out the following startling facts:

*

75 % of women are dissatisfied with their appearance; 89 % say they want to lose weight; 22 % of men say they want to gain weight. In general, men are more satisfied with their appearance than women, although the number of men who are tormented about their weight and shape is climbing.
*

15 % of women and 11 % of men, respectively, say they would sacrifice more than five years of their life to be the ideal weight, while 24 % of women and 17 % of men say they would give up more than three years.
*

50 % of all women are on a diet at any given time.
*

The weight loss industry (diet foods, programs and drugs) takes in more than $40 billion each year and continues to grow.
*

Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer or losing their parents.
*

50 % of nine-year-old girls and 80 % of ten-year-olds girls have dieted.
*

Anorexia has the highest mortality rate (up to 20 %) of any psychiatric illness.
*

Girls are more prone to developing eating and self-image problems than developing drug or alcohol problems. Yet there are drug and alcohol programs in almost every school but very few eating disorder programs.
*

1-2 % of women between the ages of 14 and 25 have anorexia; 3-5 % experience bulimia; and another 10-20 % of women in this age group engage in many of the behaviors associated with both eating problems.

Clients often have very unrealistic expectations of the type of body they would like to achieve. They often refer to popular magazines for an image of their ideal body. But they are ignorant of the fact that many of the models are 23 % underweight and have been made-up for hours. Camera tricks are used and once the photos have been developed, the pictures are cropped, airbrushed and manipulated by computer to produce an unrealistic, unhealthy, and so-called "perfect" image.

We have to encourage our clients to examine their genetics and to understand that fat loss is dependent on genetic breakdown – many physiologists now concur that greater than 40 % of "fatness" is genetically determined. Clients (or your exercise programs) cannot change this! Here are some statistics to help your clients understand this relationship.

If one of their parents is obese, they are twice as likely to be overfat.

If both of their parents are obese, they are four times as likely to be overfat.

One study also makes this relationship very clear. Overfat identical twins were fed 1000 extra calories per day for 7 weeks. You would expect that each pair of twins should gain exactly the same amount of weight, but in fact, the weight gain ranged from 9.5 to 29.3 pounds. It is also interesting to note that although the actual range of weight gain between twins was very high, the twins in each pair gained exactly the same amount of weight!

Have your clients examine their parents and their family to determine the types of expectations they can place upon themselves and the program you design for them.

What we find sad are the clients who get caught in the "Geez, if I could just lose this extra 10 pounds, then I'd be happy" syndrome, yet when they do lose the weight, they are still not satisfied. If a client believes that they will only be happy once they lose the weight, they will never be skinny enough to be happy. It is a vicious cycle and it never ends unless our clients learn to love the body they have as it is right now, not tomorrow or next month or next year. It is great to want to make health improvements but they cannot hate and despise the state they are in now. Making these lifestyle changes is about your clients believing they deserve to be healthier! It is not about making the changes so they can look like someone else. If they make changes with this as their ultimate goal, they will not succeed in the long term and will most likely be miserable in the process! Take our word for it. We have seen it happen time and time again! Body hatred and dissatisfaction are hardly reserved for only the morbidly obese. In fact, many women who clearly have very little body fat to lose are not happy with their body proportions. Encourage your clients to take control of their happiness today!

Have your clients complete the following questions:

Step one: Decide what's realistic for you.

1.

Is there a history of excess fat in your family?
2.

Which parts of your body or your physical attributes are you satisfied with?
3.

What is the lowest weight you have maintained as an adult for at least one year?
4.

Based on your genetic predisposition, your age and the amount of time you want to spend exercising, what type of "ideal" physique is achievable for you?

Step two: Realize that your past does not equal your future.

Events that happened to you in your past, such as sexual, physical or verbal abuse, significantly influence your present perception of yourself. It is imperative that you recreate your body image by recognizing and releasing these feelings from the past.

1.

Make a time-line of the events in your life that you believe contributed to your body image. Start with childhood memories and continue to the present. What types of messages did your parents give you about your body? How did other relationships affect your body image?
2.

Make a list of all the things you can do to take care of yourself and your body. Which actions can you take on a regular basis to demonstrate that you love yourself and that you deserve to be healthy?

Step 3: Get a little help from your friends.

1.

Make a list of the people you would like to surround yourself with because you know they will be positive and supportive of your ambitions.
2.

Make a mental note of the people you will spend less time with because you feel they may be a negative influence.

One aspect of gaining control of a negative body image is understanding the role of negative and irrational thinking. Our clients are often their own worst critics and can be very hard on themselves. Our clients cannot take their thoughts lightly because they can directly affect their actions and their progress. There are things that they can do immediately to overcome or control negative and irrational thinking. Here are some tips to give to clients.

Methods for overcoming negative or irrational thinking:

1.

Listen to your thoughts at the times when you feel worst.
2.

Listen for irrational/negative thinking.
3.

Dispute these thoughts by asking "Why is this so?" "Where is this negativity coming from?" and "Could there be another possible explanation or interpretation?"
4.

Imagine repeating what you have said to a close friend or child. We could never imagine talking to others as we often talk to ourselves. The next time you catch yourself thinking irrationally or negatively to or of yourself, ask yourself if you would ever speak this way to another human being. You deserve the same type of respect you would give anybody else! Remind yourself that if you continually practice negative self-talk, eventually, you may actually start to believe your own words. Your self-esteem can end up taking a real beating.
5.

Displace continuing irrational beliefs by techniques of

*

Thought stopping. When worrying, instantly think of a stop sign and then focus on pleasant thoughts.
*

Stress management. When worrying, participate in your favourite relaxation techniques like massage, reading, baths, journal writing, etc.
*

Thought reversal. Have positive messages or quotes posted around your work or home environment to help anchor you back to a positive state and put things into perspective.

6.

Learn to live in the moment and to experience true joy in your life. Stop worrying about the past or the future. Most people have a very difficult time living in the now. Try this easy drill. Shut your eyes. Listen and try to identify all the sounds around you. Smell for different scents. Open your eyes and really look around you. Observe all the different colors and objects. The next time you eat, try to eat slowly and taste every single bite. Quick drills like this will help you to develop your skills of living in the moment.
7.

Each night before you fall asleep, make a mental note of what was the best part of your day or of something that you experienced that you really appreciated or enjoyed. By doing this, you will learn to look for the good things in life.
8.

Live today! Self-hatred takes a lot of time and energy. Obsessing about your body weight, nutrition plan and exercise program leaves you tired and depressed. Deciding to not enjoy the here-and-now because you have decided to wait until you lose the weight will leave you feeling deprived and will often lead to more negative feelings and behaviors.

Remember that thin thighs, a small butt and a 6-pack set of abdominals is not the ticket to a meaningful existence. Fill your life with interesting experiences and supportive people and you will enjoy a much higher quality of life.