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Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:16 pm
by Gaazy
So, I went to a real snake handler church this mornin. You can find em all over the place up the hollers and stuff down here, usually just a bunch of nutcases in a 1 room shack. Well last week I met this ole boy in the mines that swore up and down he was a snake handler, and he wanted me to come down and go to church with him haha. So I decided sure, what the hell, lets go see how crazy these people are. So I got up today and made the hour drive there and up the holler and met him at his house, then went down to the church

You wanna talk about crazy? Godamn, these people were dancin around with rattlers, copperheads, cottonmouths, and all kinds of crazy shit wrapped around their heads and bodies. I have never, in my fuckin life, seen anything like this shit. I stayed for like 15 minutes until a rattler took a lunge at me then got the fuck out before I ended up in a bed or some shit. This one old guy was dancin around with a MONSTER rattler around his neck speakin in tongues and a screamin and shit. I couldnt even laugh, I was too shocked. Only like 15 people in the church, but holy shit, i couldnt even think of anything to say to these moonbats

anyone else got any crazy ass stories like this about churchs or whatever?

I mean, I guess if thats what they want to do on their sunday mornins, more power to em. But godamn, me? Fuck - that - shit.

West Virginia is the only state in the country that its still legal to practice like this too, just learned that today actually.

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:29 pm
by Tikker
see, and from here praying to an effigy of some dead guy on a cross seems equally whacky

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:30 pm
by Harrison
Last I checked, crucifixes don't have fangs and a venomous bite.

There is definitely no comparison between the two.

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:31 pm
by Tikker
the danger quotient has nothing to do with what makes it odd

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:35 pm
by Gaazy
I know it has something to do with the Book of Mark. They kept quoting it and there was some picture on the wall with passages from it. If I heard them right they are a type of Baptist or some shit. /shrug either way, I reckon that was my last trip to the snake handler's ball. I just wanted to see what the hell they did, and about 15 minute of it was about as much as I could take. Shit, I didnt know they actually wrapped snakes around thier heads and all kinds of shit like that. this one old guy said he's been practicing it for 50+ years, and hes been bit 160 or so times rofl. His face was so scarred up that it looked like hed come out of war. He also said hed never gotten medical treatment not once. Fuckin crazy

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:07 am
by Evermore
Tikker wrote:see, and from here praying to an effigy of some dead guy on a cross seems equally whacky



just about every religion has an effegy they use to represent their diety.

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:43 am
by Tikker
and they're all odd, from an outsiders point of view

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:28 am
by Kramer
Mark 16:17-18 records, “and these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will … will pick up snakes with their hands.”


it's a simple account of people taking the entire canon of the bible and focusing with blind precision on a single scripture..... and basing their religious/faith/spiritual expression around that scripture.

more mainline church gorups do it in more subtle ways, like allowing people to lie, steal, cheat, practice addictions, etc. without much, if any reprisal socially or religiously, and then holding marches to protest the singular issue of homosexuality and treating those who practice it as if they have the plague. :dunno:

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:57 am
by Martrae
I'm a seventh day advent hopist.

My parent's bible had a mis-print in it.

Faith, hop and charity. The greatest of these is hop.

So we used to spend every sunday hopping. We were forced to hop everywhere. The worst part was that my mother insisted on serving soup every Sunday. . .

Re: Snake Handlers!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:58 pm
by brinstar
whoa what the fuck mart

i'm coughing i just laughed so hard