ACK My 11 year old has a myspace, long hair, and a girl

[Jay]

Put him on Maury Povich and have them send him to boot camp.

[Tacks]

I wouldn't be surprised if he's at that point by now.

[Insanityfair]

Kizzy, alot of parents are in your situation. You have no idea what your kid is up to and you want to be able to have some sort of control over the situation. Your child is not 14 years old, that means he cannot have a myspace and you can report it anonymously to get it removed.

Long hair and a girl friend is something only you or his dad can help, but I don't see anything wrong with either except that your little man is growing up. Just promise not to turn into one of those parents that tries to figure out your kids passwords or add a key stroke tracker to your computer and break any trust they might have for you.

Wow, I almost completely agree with this. Only side thing is given his age, at this point you still have a right to an extent to know what he's looking at on his computer. His dad should make some kind of rule that his computer is subject to random periodic checks, with him present, but unannounced so he doesn't have time to hide things, and as he gains trust then relax it a bit. No kid at 11 should have free run of the internet. But that should satisfy all parties, if he has nothing to hide it shouldn't be a problem for him. And then he knows you aren't going to sneak and try to check his crap, but he knows you care enough to keep some tabs on him.

[Gaazy]

Do those programs like Cybersitter and shit that you see on porno sites actually work? My little cousin gets caught looking at porn all the time and I told my aunt to check them out

[Darcler]

I second the "NO KEYLOGGERS" thing. Though you've asked about it before, I wouldnt put it past you.
I know you arent there with him, so this does no good, but here's an idea. Dont let them together alone unsupervised. (the boy and his girlfriend). They can come to his dads house, watch tv or play video games or whatever it is that they do. Just dont let them go to the movies alone or to an empty unsupervised house.
I had a horribly stunted childhood, so I would relate how I was raised and how great it made me turn out....but I cant. I can only tell you things I watched a friends mom do. The boys are starting to date. The girls can come over whenever they want, they can even go upstairs. But the doors have to remain opened at all times.
And yes, kids having sex that young are very rare. I had sex pretty young, but not at 11.
The reason the city you are in has middle school day cares is for the backassward yokels knocking up their neices. I find comfort in knowing that sooner or later, they will breed within the family enough that the children will come out sterile and cant further produce retards.

[Spazz]

Insanityfair do you think searching your childs room from time to time is a good idea too ?

[araby]

I disapprove of the myspace page.

Long hair is no big deal, I support letting kids express themselves, as long as they behave appropriately.

The girlfriend is an indication that you need to discuss development, sex and the difference between girls as friends and girls as girlfriends.

My son and I discussed his physical changes when he was ten. We discussed sex at eleven. I encourage him to treat girls with respect and nothing else, just like he would want someone to treat his sister, his mother (me) and that girlfriends are something he can consider when he starts driving. Until then, make friends with every one of them because they're going to get a lot prettier.

[araby]

A little girl wanted to send my son a letter asking him "do you like me" and she has been hinging her every thought and feeling on when they can hang out again.

This completely freaked me out. So-I sat him down and said, "Nip it in the bud right now. She's your buddy. You guys are cool. You're friends. You play video games and Heelie around and go to ballgames with your parents. Anything else is too much emotion for a little girl-they do not know how to deal with that kind of emotion and neither do you. Girlfriends come later."

[Gaazy]

Bleh let him have his fun and have as many girlfrands as he wants. They'll get bored and have a new boyfriends and girlfriends by next month

[The Kizzy]

Lyion, He lives in Ohio with his Dad, I live in Texas, I have no control over his life at all. I see him for about a week, a week and a half a year.

Taxx, I don't know what else is going on there, I talk to him once a week, his grades are up, Dave says he is doing much better in school, etc, but he is very lenient with him, lets him stay home all day by himself when he is at work or on a date.

[Eziekial]

Between 8th and 9th grade is when most boys try to "wet their willy" so as not to fall behind the cool curve. At least this was true 20+ years ago.... oh my GOD!

[10sun]

Ask your son what he thinks a Cleveland Steamer is.

He'll be fine. Girls don't put out for guys with glasses until 10th grade.

[Eziekial]

So the moral of this story?

Don't get your boy contacts..... before you teach him how to use a condom.

[Gargamellow]

DELETE IT

[Harrison]

Between 8th and 9th grade is when most boys try to "wet their willy" so as not to fall behind the cool curve. At least this was true 20+ years ago.... oh my GOD!

7th grade RARE, 8th grade not so rare but really not common either, freshman year you pretty much start exponentially dropping off on virgins.

[KaiineTN]

Leave a bunch of embarassing Mom comments on his Myspace page that make him seem totally uncool and nerdy. If he deletes them, cry on the phone and make him feel guilty, then post more. His internet coolness, along with any potential ability to get with the ladies via that medium, will drop down a good bit!

[10sun]

Baby pictures work best.

[Insanityfair]

Insanityfair do you think searching your childs room from time to time is a good idea too ?

Honestly, no. And like I said, the supervised net checks would only be for awhile till lines were established. And that's because imo the net is far more dangerous now a days. If you block the porn or w/e not so much but I've heard enough stories about someone found some underage kid on myspace/chat rooms blahblah in the last half year to make me think that hey, at 11, those kind of parental checks may very well be necessary. The kid already has a myspace page and hey, he's not old enough to have one yet. Now while that may seem harmless, do you know that it is? No.

[Agrajag]

Most of you people are completely insane and untrusting of your children. All you need to do is have an open line of communication with your children from the time they start talking.

My son is now 10 years old and I have let him have free reign of the internet since he hacked my password at age 2. The two of us always talk about his problems (if he's having any) and he has no issues with asking questions about drugs, alcohol or girls.

Trying to limit or remove a situation from a child's life will only make them want it more. They will find a way to get what they want and they will go one step further to "punish" you for not allowing them to do it.

My advice is just because you would have put out at that age doesn't mean that your son's girlfriend will. Or that they are even close to thinking about it.

[LostCause]

Leave a bunch of embarassing Mom comments on his Myspace page that make him seem totally uncool and nerdy. If he deletes them, cry on the phone and make him feel guilty, then post more. His internet coolness, along with any potential ability to get with the ladies via that medium, will drop down a good bit!

[runamonk]

friend........I am flipping the fuck out and I am not even kidding. What the hell do I do? He's fucking 11. I'm freaking out, although his girlfriend (or who I assume) is a little cutie. OMG Im freaking out. Please advise.

Firstly, relax.

Age 11, a girl friend means exactly that a friend who is a girl. It doesn't necessarily imply anything in the realm of sexual connotations. Leave it alone, at 11 it's cute and harmless.

He's growing up but still very young doesn't know. I assume you've had "the talk" with him? If not this would be a good place to start with this whole thing.

[runamonk]

Most of you people are completely insane and untrusting of your children. All you need to do is have an open line of communication with your children from the time they start talking.

My son is now 10 years old and I have let him have free reign of the internet since he hacked my password at age 2. The two of us always talk about his problems (if he's having any) and he has no issues with asking questions about drugs, alcohol or girls.

Trying to limit or remove a situation from a child's life will only make them want it more. They will find a way to get what they want and they will go one step further to "punish" you for not allowing them to do it.

My advice is just because you would have put out at that age doesn't mean that your son's girlfriend will. Or that they are even close to thinking about it.

yup, worked for me and my mom.

[Spazz]

I can see random searches of the cumputer going the same as random searches of the room would go. Damaging to your childs trust for you. I pitty your children if you think treating them like a felon is the best way to raise them.

[Tacks]

At this point if she doesn't start treating him like a felon i guarantee he will be one some day soon.

[Eziekial]

Some kids just need a beat'n.