namelesstavern.net

I'm not sure how having kids forces you to seek a relationship. That makes it worse, really - if you're looking for a relationship just to have someone around you risk getting a mediocre shithead in your life - it's one thing to have a mediocre shithead in your life when you're a single person without kids. to have that in your life *with* kids makes it that much worse.

you can't go out looking for a relationship just for a paycheck to support you. when you have kids, you make the conscious decision that there are going to be tough times and all relationships don't work out. It's hard, but single parents do it all the time. your first focus is on your kids and their well being, not on what shmuck out there will help you pay for them. And by the sound of it, Amanda isn't trying to get into a relationship for the financial support rather than because she's lonely (and horny, apparently) - either way, no good relationship (especially with kids involved) results from acts of desperation.

From what Ive seen too though, is that people that are nonstop always looking for a relationship just because they hate being single or lonely, always turn out to have the miserable ass relationships too. the ones that are always hunting for it are the ones that are always bitching in other words. The people that just let shit happen are the ones that are happy. I t hink if something is meant to be, it will fall together. The relationships Ive had were always with people that I never chased around and begged for a date. They just happened, and they were great. I just hate being in relationships. I, cant, fucking, stand, it. Its great for a few months, but then I just lose interest. Maybe its just because im so young, but I just cant see the bullshit behind the ole "im so looonely, I cant be siiiiingle" crap.

I was lonely most of my life. I can definitely see how shitty it is.

However, I also didn't settle for any bitch sniffin' for dick. Worked out well for me.

I'd rather be alone than have to deal with the bullshit of a shitty relationship.

Gypsiyee wrote:I'm not sure how having kids forces you to seek a relationship. That makes it worse, really - if you're looking for a relationship just to have someone around you risk getting a mediocre shithead in your life - it's one thing to have a mediocre shithead in your life when you're a single person without kids. to have that in your life *with* kids makes it that much worse.

you can't go out looking for a relationship just for a paycheck to support you. when you have kids, you make the conscious decision that there are going to be tough times and all relationships don't work out. It's hard, but single parents do it all the time. your first focus is on your kids and their well being, not on what shmuck out there will help you pay for them. And by the sound of it, Amanda isn't trying to get into a relationship for the financial support rather than because she's lonely (and horny, apparently) - either way, no good relationship (especially with kids involved) results from acts of desperation.

Other way around Ash. I'm saying that the likeliness that you would happen upon someone, date them, feel em out and start a relationship is not as common as it is for a single person w/o kids. With kids involved theres more of a criteria than simple compatability and at the same time when you have kids it's not like you'd be getting out as much as a person without.

That doesn't really change my point, though - single with or without kids, if you're going out trying to look for a relationship, chances are you're going to get a string of shitty ones.

Having kids doesn't turn people into hermits - you might not have the same chance of meeting someone at the club, but who wants to do that anyway? That's the worst place to meet people. You will, however, likely meet heaps of other single parents going about your day to day activities - I don't think it lessens the people you meet at all, it just changes the dynamic of people you meet.. in Amanda's case, I don't think that's a bad thing.

That said, I love Jonathan dearly - but as someone who has been in a relationship for almost all of my adult life, I didn't get to enjoy much of the single life and I really miss it sometimes - the few glimpses I got were some of my funnest times once I worked past the mourning of my previous relationship.

Well I haven't had a man supporting me for over seven years. I am sitting on a college education and I am going out into the world to actively find myself a job with my fancy degree and semi-ok GPA. (3.06)

I don't NEED a man. I just want one.

I want the snuggles. I want the kisses...the sex...the late night movies. I want someone who will piss me off by leaving his socks on the floor, but bring me flowers out of the blue to make up for shit like that.

I want someone to take out to the bars with me so I can hang all over them and make everyone think we are sick fucks.

I want a man because I want one.

Whats your degree in anyway? I dont know if I ever saw you post it, or else I missed it



and B-L-E-H, you are the type of girl and couple I hate seein at bars haha. The ones nonstop making out and going at it and drunkenly slamming into everyone that walks by while you do it?

I am the chic on stage rocking out. I am the chic who will sit on her man and make the other men in the room wish they were him. What's wrong with that?

NOTHING!

Public affection sucks~ At least you THINK every other guy in the room wants to be him hehe

OMG...you poor thing. You need wuvvinz.

yeah it's trashy

brinstar wrote:yeah it's trashy

Depends on the setting I suppose. I don't like going to the mall and seeing 2 people suck face near Sbarro or anything but theres times where it's appropriate. Like someone coming home from Iraq meeting their gf at the airport or after a proposal or whatever.

the only time my girlfriend and i hang on each other in public excessively is at dance clubs. and everybody else is too so whatever

edit: to/too omg

Everything you are identifying yourself with, including this relationship you've been in and it's recent ending, is taking over your thoughts. It won't work out that way. If you continue to let it, you will continue to allow yourself to be identified by your accomplishments, failures, lifestyle, relationship status, emotional-mental stability and everything else in "life" that is primary to you. These things are truly secondary, since they cannot happen if you didn't exist. Your existence actually precedes all of these things and because you allow them to take a primary role, you continue to live that role and all of your actions and reactions are based on emotions that you have been conditioned to show based on the identification with your roles since your life began. Once you can identify this behavior, it will be easier for you to understand and control.

I think I am more identifying myself with my thoughts, rather than my actions. I consider this to be my whole problem.

I hate men. I fucked up yet another fucking relationship.

well if you fucked it up, why do you hate men? can't give feedback when you're so vague =p

I'll throw equally vague advice then.

The problem I see with so many is they think it's just about love. Relationships are about a contract between two people to be together and try to make each other happy. The problem is a lot of relationships tend to be one sided without the mutual respect and give and take.

Lots' of fish in the ocean. Get some confidence. Know what you want in a relationship. Meet nice people and toss the guppies back into the water, and quit giving them the time of day.

K I don't know why but it keeps showing there are no updates. I am just now reading your posts. In fact, I think Araby nailed it a long time ago.

Lyion wrote:The problem I see with so many is they think it's just about love. Relationships are about a contract between two people to be together and try to make each other happy. The problem is a lot of relationships tend to be one sided without the mutual respect and give and take.

one of our regulars and i somehow got into it tonight at the bar and i totally agree with you here. when i was right out of high school i was a retarded hopeless romantic. i expected some magical hollywood nonsense to fall into my lap

now i'm convinced the only relationships that really last are the ones where both people take care of their own business and are already happy before they meet. a good sense of what's fair goes a long way. i see way too many relationships that are all about the dude or all about the girl to ever be involved in one. no thanks

Gargamellow wrote:K I don't know why but it keeps showing there are no updates. I am just now reading your posts. In fact, I think Araby nailed it a long time ago.

yessss