Linux friend sent me the "OS Airline" joke

[Tikker]

it goes something like this:
What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?
DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.

OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.
Once they finally finished you're offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.


Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.


Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.




Linux Airlines
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"



not bad, but not so truthful

So I sent back to him the revised Linux Airlines:
Linux Airlines
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. On closer inspection the seat, bolts and the wrench are all slightly incompatible with each other. You glance around the cabin and see the person across the aisle is confidently assembling his seat, and seems to know what he's doing. So you simply ask, "Hey, how do I assemble this seat? The given instructions don't quite match what was actually given to me."
A Linux Airlines stewardess who overhears you will walk up and say, "RTFM, n00b" and walk away, chuckling to herself. The person across the aisle who's now sitting comfortably will tell you that his seat is slightly different than yours, but will hand you 3 150 page documents, make_bolt.html, make_wrench.html and seat-HOWTOv315795135.html. He'll also smile kindly and say, "RTFM, n00b". Upon reading the make_bolt.html you'll discover that you also need to obtain the smelt_iron.pl function as well as the manual for that. When you finally track down the make_bolt.pl the documentation will be vague enough that you have zero chance of actually building the proper bolts yourself. You will manage to stumble into someone else on the plane who has an extra bolt and will lend you one AND they'll even give instructions on how to duplicate the bolt! Finally feeling like you're making progress you'll get your bolts duplicated and ready to go, only to discover that the new bolts you were given don't quite work with make_wrench.html. Now instead of going and getting a new wrench, you simply use the existing wrench to hammer the new bolts into place. The seat is finished. It doesn't quite work exactly as described, but you did get it to work. You can't exactly explain what you did to make it work, but it does, and at this point that's all that counts (every other airplane at the airport has already left and arrived at their destinations. only the Linux planes are left milling around attempting to build items from the ground up while everyone else just picks up a cheap seat from the store. the chair bought at the store is also cheaper to buy than the Linux chair was to make, but shhhhhh, no one's allowed to know that secret). Once you finally get everything assembled and are settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, covering up any issues you had so as not to appear weak and foolish. You've also learned the most important phrase in the entire Linux community, and you will use it any chance you get (RTFM, n00b)