Things I learned from my patients

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Things I learned from my patients

Postby Lyion » Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:14 am

Some good laughs in this thread. There are no graphics, but some things text wise are very Sexual and explicit text, but nothing NWS.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthr ... ge=1&pp=25

Alcohol, table saws, and flannel shirts do not mix.



Make sure to have your boyfriend re-insert the same 12" dildo that was taken out of your ?booty? with twice as much force this time after it was in there for a few hours and was forcibly removed by the ED personnel 2 hours ago because surely the hole is now open enough that it won't get stuck a second time...


Good stuff here...
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Postby Kramer » Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:08 am

:rofl: :lol:

that is some good stuff right there....

being a therapist who works with 17 - 22 yr old homeless and street kids, alot of that stuff rings true...
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    Postby Maeya » Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:35 am

    The Law of Inverse Value: the less you contribute to society, the greater the trauma you can sustain with minimal to no physical sequelae, including falls from 3 stories, stabbings (chest, neck, head, slashings to the face), gunshot wounds (chest, neck, pelvis, leg, traumatic arrest (only to be killed 7 years later in a separate GSW incident)), and high speed MVC's, unrestrained, where multiple people in the other vehicle are killed.


    :rofl: :rofl:
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    Postby Martrae » Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:14 pm

    Well another professor of life came through last night and bestowed some wisdom on me which I'll share. No matter how annoyed you are at being incarcerated dont slash open your scrotum and shove razor blades up your urethra. Now I know, who among us hasn't thought wistfully of doing that but it turns out that it's not a good idea.
    Inside each person lives two wolves. One is loyal, kind, respectful, humble and open to the mystery of life. The other is greedy, jealous, hateful, afraid and blind to the wonders of life. They are in battle for your spirit. The one who wins is the one you feed.
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    Postby Kramer » Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:32 pm

    :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy: :ugh: :eyecrazy:
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      Postby The Kizzy » Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:38 pm

      HAHAH

      My A&P Instructor tells some very interesting stories in class. My favorite?

      1.) He was trying to stall for time one day in class to get a projector working, so he asked the class to start naming off body fluids. One girl raised her hand and asked what the name of the clear liquid that came out of your anus was. He replied "I call that Diaherrea", she said, "No the CLEAR liquid!!!" He asked her if this was a problem she was having, and if she had seen a doctor. The class laughed, and she got really angry and yelled, "Im sure you have had the clear liquid come out of your ass before too" The teacher is still puzzled, so another student gets a bright idea and asks, "When does the clear liquid come out" To which she replied "After Anal sex"
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      Postby Maeya » Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:51 pm

      I used to think that I would like to be a doctor, but these stories just confirm that I'd have too hard a time fighting to keep scum alive.

      Especially repeat offenders. Fuck 'em. Not like it's a loss.
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      Postby dammuzis » Thu Feb 02, 2006 2:38 pm

      i think i finally found a signature
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