by Gypsiyee » Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:57 pm
In all honesty, the only times that I've actually done what I guess you view as deliberately fucking someone over is when I wouldn't really see that someone cared about me as much as they did and figured it wouldn't matter to them if the relationship, or 'talking' was over because its not like I was any big loss - it was due to me underestimating the capability of someone caring about me, be it low self esteem or lack of trust in people or whatever else.
With Scott, however - when we officially broke up and had held onto it longer than need be, it was mostly due to me feeling that I owed him to keep trying and stick around rather than just give up at the first sign that it just wasn't there anymore. At the time, I felt that it was the more selfless route, where in all reality I should've taken the route I mentioned above with him, because he probably would've been one of the ones who really didn't give a shit either way. Not that he didn't care about me, but he was just an all around nonchalant guy who couldn't really be bothered with emotion in any sense - it was either happy or angry, there were no other degrees of emotion involved. I don't think I fucked him over, we still talk.. but hanging onto the relationship when it was kind of over (for both of us) could probably be viewed the way you tend to view things. In all reality, I just didn't want to be responsible for someone's pain. In the other example above, I didn't think I was capable of causing pain, and if I did, I never would've done the things I have.
All in all, in my case it's been not knowing the degree of feelings the other side had due to lack of confidence in myself or feeling like I owed the other party better but in the end it just couldn't work out. I don't think that this is exclusive to women by any means, so much as nature of a lot of people in general. I can't really speak for other women, as to be honest there's a very real reason that I don't have a lot of female friends. I'd agree with you about many women - they can't be trusted, and they're manipulative and hurtful. My grandma used to tell me that you can't trust anyone but your mother, sister, and grandma as women go and I still believe that to this day - there are degrees of trust, obviously, but when it comes to full trust, those women are the only ones who will ever have it. That's not to say that I don't trust any women or have women friends - when you find great women friends they're more loyal friends than you will ever find in a man, no matter what your sex. I'd say the ratio for bad to good is 60/40, but the same goes for men. There's not necessarily more manipulation from women, imo - there are just different ways to do it, and women do it one way, and men do it another.
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