So a friend calls me tonight

[Diekan]

haha indeed, but he's a young dude with a shlong... he'll hit it... I have no doubts. All the advice in the world is meaningless when you're talking about a dude and his hormones. :D

[Jay]

fair enough. i definitely see your point--she's a selfish, immoral tramp. but you're right, it's jaz's decision whether or not to take part in that kind of stuff.

allow me to rephrase and expand upon my position.

i've never cheated on a significant other in the past. i will never cheat on jjoshua... never in a million years. but i have been the other woman. jaz, you can do whatever you want here. after all, it's not your significant other getting hurt, and you get some action out of it. however, just know that it's definitely not the right thing to do... largely because no matter what the chick says, there is pretty much no such thing as no-strings-attached sex--one or the other of you will inevitably develop feelings--but also because even if the sex is no-strings, someone will inevitably get hurt. maybe that doesn't matter to you, though. maybe you're just looking for some action; so fine, go for it. but if you have a decent conscience it will eventually get the better of you, and you'll end up feeling like dogshit too.

in my situation, i entered into the relationship because i had major feelings for this guy. eventually, though, i think two people in the triangle ended up getting hurt--the girlfriend for obvious reasons (though she never dumped him... i think they might still be together, though he still regularly cheats on her), and me because i was just the girl on the side--he was never mine, and he was just using me. that is a hard pill to swallow once you get past the emotions you have for the person and the emotions you get from getting caught up in such a relationship. in fact, the only person to come out on top was the guy. it was a shitty situation, and he is a shitty person. hence my position that no, you should not get involved with this girl.

i don't regret having the relationship with said guy... i have few regrets in my life (seriously, maybe three or four) and none of them are serious. these things happen for a reason--in this case, to show me how not to behave in relationships. after that experience, i learned not to cheat, not to take part in cheating, and that travis hill is a manipulative, soulless bastard. :P

just don't do it. it's not worth it, trust me.

Jaz, I'm not saying do it or not. Doing it doesn't make you a bad person like Maeya says. Remember, you kept your distancein that respect and she asked you. Not like you're roaming the countryside looking to wreck homes. If they aren't married and you go ahead, hey, the fireman has no one to blame but himself for not taking care of business. On the other hand, he might come after you, and you have to weigh out whether or not you'll get caught and if so, are you willing to throw down for some pussy.

Oh and Leah, your case is TOTALLY different from what a guy would feel. You might have felt like shit for being the "other" woman. Guy aren't as emotional about sex in general.

[Dylan]

I wonder if she killed him

[Snero]

if anything happens, just make sure to wrap it up, don't take any chances

[Dylan]

she shows up in an hour.

The time is now 12pm... they are either fucking like jackrabbits right now or she killed him and is playing find the cucumber with his corpse.

[Jay]

Maybe they're talking about their feelings first.

[Dylan]

Jazendar = Kaiine?

[Ginzburgh]

have you cheated on someone, ginzburgh? have you been the "other" in someone else's relationship? have you been cheated on?

I have never cheated on a girlfriend. I have however been cheated on. When I was in college, I dated a girl for two years. I had a good friend who I had also known for two years who secretly orchestrated the demise of my relationship because the only reason he was my friend in the first place was to hook up with my girlfriend, which they did on one drunken night.

Sure it hurt, but I'm not about to judge anyone else's situation because I simply don't know what their situation is. I'm not going to pretend that every situation where a stranger cheats on their partner is exactly like mine. Every person is in charge of their own destiny. To point your finger at someone through an internet message board after knowing so little about them and the situation they are in is both irrational and childish.
.

[leah]

fair enough.

have you never passed judgment on or made comments about someone you barely know, though, especially in any of the NT threads?

[Dylan]

Of course not, no one on NT would do something like that.

[Ginzburgh]

fair enough.

have you never passed judgment on or made comments about someone you barely know, though, especially in any of the NT threads?

You know a lot more about someone after many years of threads than one paragraph about someone who a poster is posting about.

[leah]

hehe that's what i'm sayin'!

at any rate, my point is: quit being so self-righteous about everyone else offering their advice and judgment. jaz had to have expected to get such responses; if he didn't, he should've--this IS the NT after all. :P

[leah]

crap, ninja-poster.

at any rate, i guess i just don't see why you're getting all defensive about this. /shrug

[Ginzburgh]

at any rate, my point is: quit being so self-righteous

I think you're confused. I'm the objective one in this argument. You should follow your own advice.

[Jazendar]

It was worth it, it probably won't happen again, while that doesn't make it right, no emotions attached or anything, we barely ever talk, once or so every week to say hi and that's about it. Call me a bad person, i don't really care, but it was well worth it. And the guy she's dating is on duting in alaska for like another 2 months, he's banging other women every chance he gets, and doesn't think of it as cheating because he doesn't feel anything for the women he's messing around with. He's even keeping in touch with them after the one night stands via email and shit. And then openly admits it to her as if he was bragging.

So whatever, two wrongs do make a right, 3 4 and 5 do though.

[Ginzburgh]

at any rate, i guess i just don't see why you're getting all defensive about this. /shrug

I am simply pointing out the fact that you are casting judgement on a situation with too little information to form a valid opinion. It's not as black and white as "cheating is wrong". There are about a thousand other factors involved, as with most things.

[Dylan]

Damn, I lost 50 bucks. You were supposed to die.

Anyway, did you put it in her butt?

[Dylan]

at any rate, i guess i just don't see why you're getting all defensive about this. /shrug

I am simply pointing out the fact that you are casting judgement on a situation with too little information to form a valid opinion. It's not as black and white as "cheating is wrong". There are about a thousand other factors involved, as with most things.

Well still it isn't a good habit to get into =/

[Ginzburgh]

He's banging other women every chance he gets, and doesn't think of it as cheating because he doesn't feel anything for the women he's messing around with. He's even keeping in touch with them after the one night stands via email and shit. And then openly admits it to her as if he was bragging.

I'll be accepting apologies from all of you nay-sayers via PM from 3:00-8:00.

[Ginzburgh]

Well still it isn't a good habit to get into =/

Talk to me when you've got some balls Mr. Sensitive. Or Mr. Hypocritical. Let's see what you would do when faced with the same situation.

[Guntaag Gorefeast]

then youll be dissapointed=/

[Dylan]

I didn't say I wouldn't do it, I'm all for one night stands. I just said it isn't a good habit to get all your action from said encounters.

[leah]

at any rate, i guess i just don't see why you're getting all defensive about this. /shrug

I am simply pointing out the fact that you are casting judgement on a situation with too little information to form a valid opinion. It's not as black and white as "cheating is wrong". There are about a thousand other factors involved, as with most things.

Well still it isn't a good habit to get into =/

/agree

and ginz, i'm calling a truce. neither one of us will fully agree, and there's no point in going around and around. i'll agree that while i might be "castings judgment," i'm just stating my opinion in response to jaz's sharing of the situation and in light of my own experiences. i can respect that you are staying objective; that's great--but i'm sure there've been plenty of occasions where you've done the same thing. that's all i'm saying.

[Ginzburgh]

Done same thing? As in have no strings attached sex with a hot girl despite the fact that she has a boyfriend? Shit yeah I would. I wouldn't care what her reasons were.

[leah]

hehe shithead... i meant passed judgment and you know it. :P