Any of you had family try to swindle you?

[mofish]

Out of money/inheritance/land?

Did you cave for the sake of family unity?

Or did you stand your ground and let it get ugly?

Sigh

[Gargamellow]

I let them have the damn money. Money isn't important. I just backed away slowly knowing that I am a good person and stopped speaking to them.

I don't give a fuck if I am related to them. If someone is a piece of shit, they are a piece of shit.

[mofish]

I hear you on that.

But I think Im too much of a dick to just let it go like that.

My dad can be a huge asshole and god help the person that fucks with his money. Might ask him to help us.

Our mother is dead (I have one sister), which is really why this is all coming to a head now. We are all we have, and our dad, but this is my mother's side of the family.

Grandfather was a kind, generous, hard working, entrepeneur/farmer. Got rich in the Mississippi delta farming soybean and cotton.

Long story short, my cousin is slowly trying to wrest the land from my sister and I, that we inherited from Grandmother, and would be our mother's if she hadnt died..

There are a thousand more details, but thats the short hand version of whats going on.

[Tikker]

Out of money/inheritance/land?

Did you cave for the sake of family unity?

Or did you stand your ground and let it get ugly?

Sigh

does divorce count? heh

[mofish]

Out of money/inheritance/land?

Did you cave for the sake of family unity?

Or did you stand your ground and let it get ugly?

Sigh

does divorce count? heh

I guess, since it involves family, and the same set of emotions. Someone you care about and/or love, loved, versus getting lawyers involved, bad blood, etc...

[Gargamellow]

Well, that's a different story. Fight for the land. Your cousin isn't showing you or your mother any respect, and thereby deserves none in return.

[Jimmy Durante]

Out of money/inheritance/land?

Did you cave for the sake of family unity?

Or did you stand your ground and let it get ugly?

Sigh

My dad's experiencing this at the moment, as his older brother is attempting to screw him out of his inheritance after my grandmother gave up the ghost. It's tied up in the courts, and my uncle has been resorting to rather degenerate tactics. Conversely, my older brother and I are best friends. I just can't relate to siblings where competition and/or jealousy exists.

I hope everything works out, Mofish.

[mofish]

Well, we dont mind selling to him. as we are both ignorant when it comes to business, and I dont live near the land. But here are some other facts :

1. There is money coming in, but not going out. We lease the land to another farmer, all my sister and I have ever received is the money to cover the taxes owed on the land. Not a cent more. This has been going on for years now.

2. Cousin has turned a huge chunk of it into a Duck hunting club. Flooded the land, cant be used for farming. Grey area, no idea if hes making any money on it, I doubt it, I think our profits are going to this club and its upkeep. I never get a straight answer. Why would you have to pay electricity bills on leased farmland? Super shady.

3. Cousin only wants to pay us a fraction of what its worth. They are now going so far as attempting to get my sister and I to sign something stating that we can only sell the land to another family member. Also pulling out the old 'Your grandfather said never to sell the land' bit. And trying to use this to get my sister and my share for a song.

Im getting tired of the games. This is mine and my sister's inheritance, not my cousin's, not my aunts, not his kids. Cousin is trying to emulate my grandfather, but he doesnt have his amazing heart.

Grandfather never wouldve tried to cheat or swindle family. My 97 year old Aunt Louise always tells me how every time she would go see him he would have a $100 bill in his hand for her. And this was in the 70s. If he heard someone was having trouble, he would call them into his office, and write them a check. And tell them never to pay him back and order them not to tell anyone. He did everything he could for his family. A great man.

If he offered us a fair price for our share, there wouldnt be an issue. Or, just paid us the dividends we are entitled to that weve never seen a cent of. That would be too easy though. I smell greed and it fucking stinks.

Blah.

[Evermore]

ya i have an aunt who is starting to try and screw us all. imo she can keep the money and fuck off however i am having to suppress an urge to crack her skull open.

[Insanityfair]

If you legally own the land and he's being a dick to you and your sister, can you boot him off the land? Not selling the land to anyone but family is okay like you said if they offer a fair price but honestly, your land doesn't sound like it is now what your grandfather made it anyway if the cousin made it a duck club so really, demolishing what the grandfather built is almost no better than selling imo. Sue the cousin for devaluing the land and flooding it if you can. Who gave him the permission to do it if it isn't his land? Make sure you have a good attorney and have them sort this out. Get an inspector or whatnot to tell you what the land is really worth and tell your cousin you can pay us this and keep it but I'm not supporting you for nothing anymore. It's yours and your sister's land, your grandfather wanted your family to have it, screw the cousin, sounds like an ass. Sorry, random mess of thoughts here.

[mofish]

If you legally own the land and he's being a dick to you and your sister, can you boot him off the land? Not selling the land to anyone but family is okay like you said if they offer a fair price but honestly, your land doesn't sound like it is now what your grandfather made it anyway if the cousin made it a duck club so really, demolishing what the grandfather built is almost no better than selling imo. Sue the cousin for devaluing the land and flooding it if you can. Who gave him the permission to do it if it isn't his land? Make sure you have a good attorney and have them sort this out. Get an inspector or whatnot to tell you what the land is really worth and tell your cousin you can pay us this and keep it but I'm not supporting you for nothing anymore. It's yours and your sister's land, your grandfather wanted your family to have it, screw the cousin, sounds like an ass. Sorry, random mess of thoughts here.

Random but some good stuff in there =)

Another whole bag of worms but Im pretty sure they got my grandmother to alter her will before she died.

My sister and I = 2/5
Aunt = 3/5

Cousin is managing it for his mother, my aunt, and they have controlling amount, so, yeah.

My dad has mucho connections in Mississippi. His college roomate is a professional farmland appraiser. So we will start there. I told my aunt we were going to have it appraised and she flipped her lid. They are totally hiding shit. Im sick of ignoring my instincts because they are family. Something is wrong with this whole deal and I know it, even if I dont have the facts.

[Martrae]

He still wasn't allowed to just flood it without your ok, even if they do have a bigger share. It's not stock where the larger shareholder controls the vote.

Get it appraised and if need be section it off and sell your portion. People parcel out acreage all the time...there shouldn't be any issue with you controlling the parts that are yours....just make sure he winds up with the flooded acreage and you get the good stuff.

[The Kizzy]

Go have the tax office do a land survey, and seperate teh land into 5 parcels, You own two of them, they have the other three. Unless it was written in his will that you could not sell to anyone else but family, then they can't do anything about it. If they want to use your portion of the land for profit and gain then they need to be leasing the land from you. At a set monthly price, period. Do not sell.

When my grandmother got Ahlzheimer's my grandfather retired and stayed at hom to help take care of her. He had Diabetes, and went downhill once he retired. They had 3 boys, and 3 girls. My mother and one of her brother's were the only ones who would fit them into their daily schedule to go everyday to cook meals and make sure insulin shots were given. When my grandfather was alive he had invented some kind of machine that helped move the rocks at his quarry a little easier. Even though the company had put a patent on the machine, my grandfather was awarded a $2mil prize and invested it in the early 80's at the bank my uncle was the president at. That money was all gone thanks to my uncle. My mother received none of that and also very few of his material possesions.

My grandmother died less than a year later, and as before, my mother and her brother were the ones who mainly took care of her, and my grandmother thought she was a nurse and was very mean to her. When she died again my mother got almost nothing, but 1/6 of what the house sold for. THe house was sold way under market value becuase they sold it to my aunt's girlfriend. All of her jewelry was taken by cousins.

I received a pair of house slippers from my granfather and nothing from my grandmother. All the grandchildren were suposed to get at least $30,000. My mom decided that it wasn't worth fighting over and has pretty much given up on her brothers and sisters. Which was pretty eveident at my cousins wedding in May. They all hate each other. All the cousins sat back at a table and just watched them fight the whole night and almsost ruin her wedding. It was sad really.

I know when my mother dies I have one beautiful ring coming to me, I won't fight for the rest. It isn't worth it to me.

[Jay]

He's offering a third of the price? Negotiate. Let's say the land is worth 100 (in thousands). He's offering 35. Think about how profitable you think it will be, be it a little or a lot. Let's say he makes 10 a month from it. Go ahead and sell it to him for a third of the price but ask for 3 a month on top of that for 2 years and with a renegotiation at the 2 year mark in his benefit. That way he gets his land, you don't have to deal with it and you get paid off for sitting on your ass. Off the record, let him know that depending on the circumstances most likely at the 2 year mark you'll reneg the deal to 1 a month or something like that. 2 years goes by and you can decide on your own whether you want to fuck him or not.

Also, make sure when he offers you x amount, get it in net or double the amount you actually intend on getting. Taxes will kill off like 40% of that if you get it at the stated value but net is net.

Oh, and don't think for a second to do any of this stuff without a lawyer. If he asks why, tell him just to eliminate any doubt and minimalize friction between family by having a third party overlook it all.

[Durothil Skyreaver]

Tikker screwed me over when we pooled our money to buy a Playstation 8 or 9 years ago.

[Jay]

Glad we don't hold grudges =P

[Eziekial]

My grandfather used to say: "Blood is thicker than water; but money can make the blind see."

You will find no other more insinuous partner than an extended family member. I have extensive experience in this and I can assure you that your getting fucked over six ways to sunday if your aunt "flipped her lid" over getting the property appraised. Trust your gut. Don't let it get personnal and always be fair but do not for a second assume they are looking at this as "family thing." There is a reason estates are probated. There is a reason people write wills. I can assure you, the reason isn't for clarification because family members have to be forced to take a share of an estate. I'm not saying to hide your emotions or treat your family like the enemy, just realize they are looking out for themselves first. Listen to your gut and get a lawyer to handle the details. Good luck. If you need specific advice you can send me a message and I'll try to help as much as I can.
My condolences on the loss of your mother.

[araby]

here's my story if it helps, I read your first few posts...

when my grandad was diagnosed terminal, his sister went to his home (he was remarried and lived in his wife's home) and got papers, though my grandad's wife wasn't sure what other than Medicare papers for a nursing home.

my grandad's sis called my mom and told her she found some insurance papers with my moms name on them, so my mom thanked her-thought nothing of it.

my grandfather died a week later on monday. my brother lives in the house that was my grandfathers (before he got remarried) and still gets mail for my grandfather sometimes, but on tuesday when he got mail from an insurance co. and considering he was dead, my brother opened it. It was a request for a change of beneficiary being sent to my grandad for his review. request made by his sister.

it was dated the date after my grandad was diagnosed terminal.

my mom also knew of only one will, along with a prenup from his second marriage and began to worry about whether or not she should worry about my aunt.

I gave all of this info to the doctor I work who's husband is an attorney, and she told my mother to make an inventory immediately of everything in the house (but it's my grandad's *wifes* house so my mom can't do that)

my grandad's sis told my mom on the third day after his death "well bill wanted me to have some things too"

my mom started to really worry at this point, as to what she might have done about changing his will...my grandad had three guns he promised to my older brother and one is missing.

my grandad's wife has a sister who is claiming to have bought the four-wheeler that my grandad actually bought. have to get the title...which my grandad's accountant has, all of this has yet to come out...

and my mom saw my gd's sister's *husband* driving my grandad's car the other day.

some shit is going down...I have never been more disappointed in my family. I would have never known this would happen, but it is. My mom is the only daughter of two parents are both now dead, and my grandad's sister is trying to take what is rightfully my mothers. I am southern and redneck enough to fuck with this woman for doing this to my mom. Like...roadkill on her lawn or something...a LOT of it

[mofish]

Thanks for all the good info and sharing your stories guys.

Jay - There hasnt been a real offer yet, but in a couple of emails, he is talking more like a 4th or 5th of what its worth. He could basically make back what hes offering us for the land in just a couple of years. Its no good, not a good offer.

Ezekial - Thanks for the offer and the condolences. My mother actually died in 1994. My grandmother died last november, and thats what got this whole ugly ball rolling.

I still think of my cousin as the little kid I used to visit and play with when I was little. Its strange and sad how money and adulthood seem to change people.

Araby, Kizzy, Evermore, JimmyD, Gargamellow. Wow. I guess this isnt rare at all, family screwing each other for money. My misery now has company

[araby]

yah when we started going through this, I would talk about it here/there and was amazed at how many people have similar stories, it's sad

[Jay]

The beauty of an open negotiation is that you don't have to be business saavy. Just ask for what you think is fair and let him counter offer. Idea of my post is that if you're gonna sell cheap now at least make it back in the long run. He can't swindle you if you don't agree to the terms. Hell, you could ask him to send his wife over to blow you with a fist full of hundreds if you really want to.

[10sun]

You might be suprised as to what farmland actually costs per acre...

Do a search for similar acreage in that and neighboring counties.

[mofish]

Yeah, we are definitely having it appraised.

Talked to dad tonight. He has agreed to help, and be the asshole for us. Also thinks my cousin might actually be doing something illegal, diverting profits for duck hunting cub. Said this is exactly what Enron and other companies got in trouble for. The club doesnt benefit the corporation at all. Didnt consider that before, so we will see.

This is going to get nasty. Oh well, bring it on. Im sick of worrying about it, sick of tax time every year wondering where the hell all the money went, and why Im paying taxes on profit I never received. Im through with this shit, family or not.



Starting this thread, writing it all down, really helped to organize and crystalize things in my head. Thanks for the comments and advice dudes

[Minrott]

I don't think of cousins as family. More like aquaintences. If I were in your situation, I'd be hiring a shark of a lawyer and putting the screws on this guy. That's just me.

[Spazz]

Go whup some ass mofish . Get cho mutha fuckin paper homie