Women should sleep with men on the first date?

[Jay]

http://www.elitedaily.com/dating/sex/wh ... irst-date/

Found this op ed fascinating. I don't agree with every bit of it but was curious what the NT gallery has to say about it. Thoughts?

[Tikker]

.

[Jay]

My whole thing with this is: women should do what they please sexually as long as it's not coming from a place of vulnerability. Not cuz she wants the guy to see her again, like her, for attention etc etc. Do it cuz she likes to fuck. Who's right is it to stop a girl who likes to fuck? Don't ignore safety obviously, and while other reasoning like money and free dinner I find a bit morally ambiguous, i also don't know a guy who wouldn't pay for her dinner with a smile on his face if she sucked his dick recently.

[Ganzo]

If my wife knew I posted it here she'd kill me, but we did it on the first date. If you are into a person, I don't see nothing wrong about doing what feels right.

[Jay]

What's your wife's email address? LOL

[leah]

[TMI ALERT, DEAR BROTHER!]





i spent the night at josh's the first time we met in person in lincoln, though we did not hook up. we did the second time we hung out, though, when he came to visit me in hastings. i knew by the end of our first date that i wanted to marry him, though, so it seemed like a no-brainer.

anyway: i think jay hit the nail on the head. as long as the reasons are right (for both partners), i don't see any point in putting a time limit on when it's "appropriate."

i do have a few things in my life i wish i could take back, though. but oh well.

[Zanchief]

I think there’s a natural order to the battle where woman have become the defacto gatekeepers of intercourse. Is that fair? Not at all, but it’s always been like that. Guys are pretty much always game. Women have the responsibility to determine when. It works! Having said that, I think far too much is made of sex from the woman’s perspective. Truth be told, they have every right to be just as irresponsible with sex as men, it’s just not been that way “traditionally”. Maybe it should, but woman are just more responsible in general.

Basically I agree with the spirit of what she’s saying, even if she doesn’t go about it all that well.

[Lyion]

That article is from a chick called the 'trophy wife'. I thought it was pretty much anti romantic and as far from someone looking for love as possible.

I think having sex on a first date when there's a huge emotional attachment and with someone one wants to build a life with isn't really 'doing whatever you want'. Do I think it's a bad idea? Generally for the girl, yes. I know in my 20s I had zero desire for a relationship but would say pretty much anything to get in a cute girls pants. Most of them did not want a one night stand. I do think there should be a double standard as sex to me seems more emotional for women.

I think the 'do anything' mentality is really not a good idea. Would anyone really lecture their daughter to fuck as many guys as possible? Should she sow her oats? Even the chicks who want to be completely unattached fuck machines really are nowhere near like guys. Girls have something guys really physically are driven to get, and the reverse is not always true. As a guy I personally had no interest in a second date ever with a Skank. It's like a dirty old sock. Why wear that when you can get a nice, clean, new one. 'Used' girls to me were not attractive, except in single serving doses. Girls for some reason don't care how many chicks a guy has banged. Neither does society.

Then again, having sex with just a few guys doesn't mean the chick ain't a skank....

[leah]

As a guy I personally had no interest in a second date ever with a Skank. It's like a dirty old sock. Why wear that when you can get a nice, clean, new one. 'Used' girls to me were not attractive, except in single serving doses. Girls for some reason don't care how many chicks a guy has banged. Neither does society.

wooooow. that is some real talk there. sometimes men say really gross things. way to completely objectify women. "dirty old sock." jesus.

also, i very much care how many chicks a guy has banged, and i'm pretty sure the same is true for my lady friends. it's a safety issue, for one, and also it says a lot about a guy's ability to commit or whether he's just looking for a physical relationship. which is fine as long as everyone is up-front about it.

[Gaazy]

haha Lyion wins with Leahs q uote

[Gaazy]

ps I got laid in rehab last month from a hot eating disorder patient from Malibu. W00t

[Zanchief]

GAAZY!

[Gaazy]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lyion]

As a guy I personally had no interest in a second date ever with a Skank. It's like a dirty old sock. Why wear that when you can get a nice, clean, new one. 'Used' girls to me were not attractive, except in single serving doses. Girls for some reason don't care how many chicks a guy has banged. Neither does society.

wooooow. that is some real talk there. sometimes men say really gross things. way to completely objectify women. "dirty old sock." jesus.

also, i very much care how many chicks a guy has banged, and i'm pretty sure the same is true for my lady friends. it's a safety issue, for one, and also it says a lot about a guy's ability to commit or whether he's just looking for a physical relationship. which is fine as long as everyone is up-front about it.

I was being brutally honest, there. Guys lie to get laid. It's a simple fact. :p I'm sure many of us here had multiple 'first times'.

There is no objectifying in my quote. The girl in the original article is the one throwing the material girl role out there. Girls should marry a guy for his dick size and income, right? Jeebus... If you want to talk about stereotypes, that's a better place to start than the simple truth that guys run away from skanks, and bring the nice girl home to Mom and keep her.


Hey, welcome back Gaazy!

[brinstar]

uhhh what

nice sense of equality where'd you get it the toilet store

[Jay]

As a guy I personally had no interest in a second date ever with a Skank. It's like a dirty old sock. Why wear that when you can get a nice, clean, new one. 'Used' girls to me were not attractive, except in single serving doses. Girls for some reason don't care how many chicks a guy has banged. Neither does society.

wooooow. that is some real talk there. sometimes men say really gross things. way to completely objectify women. "dirty old sock." jesus.

also, i very much care how many chicks a guy has banged, and i'm pretty sure the same is true for my lady friends. it's a safety issue, for one, and also it says a lot about a guy's ability to commit or whether he's just looking for a physical relationship. which is fine as long as everyone is up-front about it.

Sorry but I don't see where the breakdown is with Lyion's quote. He's saying what most guys think at one point or another. When I was single, there were "types" of women I looked out for when I was dating. You had your skanks who you could have fun with but you never wanted to take too seriously. They were typically the barfly, promiscuous party types. Lots of fun to hang out with, share drinks with and go home with for a night. There were other girls who you met, got to know, wanted to know more and formed a deeper connection with.

When Lyion says "Girls for some reason don't care how many chicks a guy has banged" I think what he means is that they aren't concerned about the history and how that may affect the relationship, safety aside. I disagree with his statement, but for different reasons. It's not that women don't care how many women a guy has been with, but rather they care differently. Women don't build the same insecurities within that guys do when they are faced with a love interest that has a more vast sexual history. I can't speak for others, but when I dated women who had been around the block quite a bit more than I had, I felt insecure about measuring up to other guys and boring her in bed. What if I'm not good enough. What if I can't produce something she'd enjoy cuz she's seen it all? What if she fucked a Mandingo sized guy and I can't please her? I find that when it's the opposite, a guy whose been with way more partners than the woman he's with, it's more of an issue of commitment and trust. Am I just another conquest? Is he gonna bail and fuck the next chick? Is he capable of real intimacy? Am I just being used?

As we get older and smarter we begin to realize that what matters is the here and now. She's with me right now. She chose to share this moment with me now. She's not with those other guys, she's with me. For women they get better at judging that connection and knowing if it's real. They get better at sniffing out a guy who's really there for her and a guy trying to get some ass. Sometimes it's a feeling, intuition, and in that case it COULD lead to sex earlier on. Sometimes it means a woman knows what signs to look for and withholds sex until she's completed a checklist of things she needs to see from the guy before she takes the next step. Bottom line is if she is informed and ready, be it date 1 or date 10, there's nothing wrong with her wanting to do the dirty.

Also, could just be she wants to fuck a dude. In which case, as long as he's charming and has a dick it's a go. If that's what she wants and she's made her decision, nothing wrong with that either, unless the aftermath involves little shitballs on your sheets.

[Narrock]

Jay... lol Wow, that was like 12 years ago!

[Narrock]

Anyway, I agree with Tikker on this one. A set number of dates before you do the big nasty is retarded. Do it when you're both ready, even if it's the first date. Whatever.

[brinstar]

Anyway, I agree with Tikker on this one. A set number of dates before you do the big nasty is retarded. Do it when you're both ready, even if it's the first date. Whatever.

quoting narrock because i agree

(enjoy it while it lasts lol)

[Tossica]

Stopped sleeping with women I don't love decades ago. Sex with strangers is gross. Making out, etc is fun but all I'd have to think about is "would I be willing to raise a child with this person?" and it became clear that "sex" could wait.

[Narrock]

Wow, that's disturbingly impressive, Tossica lol

[Arlos]

I'm actually much the same way. I need to be at *LEAST* friends with someone to sleep with them.

Found that out through an ex, actually. When we were together before we broke up, sex with her was amazing. Quite literally the best out of anyone I've been with. She was, unfortunately, batshit crazy, however, and we ended up breaking up over it. We kept in contact, though, and after a while, she kept pestering me to sleep with her again. I said no for a long time, because of the whole batshit crazy thing, but eventually she convinced me to do it again, even though I no longer had feelings for her at all. WORST sex I've ever had. Horrible. She seemed to enjoy it, but literally for me it was like, "Would you cum already so I can stop and get the hell out of here?"

-Arlos

[Narrock]

Was that Gargamellow?