i guess what I'm wondering, for those that believe in God, is have you had a personal experience with God?
Yes. Multiple times. And not for just myself. Most of you know I am an E.R./Trauma specialist Nurse. Been doing E.R. for 12 years now. I've seen things many times that defied all account of natural occurance.
In fact, 2 weeks ago, I had a middle age woman come in, that arrived with chest pain that evolved into a massive M.I. (heart attack) within 15 minutes of arrival. Her heart fell into Ventricular Fibrillation, and then into P.E.A., and then into asystole as a result of her cardiovascular comprimise. I did chest compressions on her for nearly 10 minutes while running the code, and shocking her multiple times to no avail. Pupils blew, no pulse, no blood pressure, no response for 10 minutes. To add to the hypoxia to the brain, she had a LOT of scar tissue due to some previous surgery in her neck, and stopping for shocks, we were unable to intubate her (this adds to no oxygen to the brain).
I stopped the code as per routine, to reassess for a pulse using a doppler, blood pressure, neurological comprimise etc... (this is routine after you exhaust ACLS protocol), and nothing. Nada. Then as if hitting a switch, her eyes opened. Her pupils went from 8mm unresponsive to 2-3mm responding instantly. Her heart rhythm went from asystole (flatline which it had been for nearly 10 minutes), to a sinus rhytym with large ST elevation (normal but showing signs of heart attack). And within 7 seconds of her opening her gaining her pulse, opening her eyes, she looked straight at me and one of my doctors and smiled. She then said "Wow, that was something!". She could not quit smiling, as if she were totally aware that she had just defied all medical explanation of her "coming back".
I see things like this all the time. Not every day, but many times a year. I am a Catholic. No I don't attend Mass every sunday. Yes I have doubted existance just as most deep thinking people have at some point in their life. I see things such as this and it drives home to me that someone else in there and in control. I am nothing but a pawn, and if it is God's will for that person to live or die, he will guide me to help bring them to that point. Most people have a problem with that statement, because it admits they are not in total control of the events around them.
I believe there is a God. I believe he instilled free will into each and every one of us. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I believe things happen as a result of our decisions we make due to our free will, and consequences happen as they may. God just steps in time to time, when he feels ready. This life is a test of our souls. It is also a gift, that most people take for granted, and do not use to it's fullest. I wish more people would celebrate their life, and gain everything they can while they are here, before they reach a crossroads that prevents them from achieving it.