Dating co-workers. Disaster or possible?

[Ciladan]

When I got into this new position at the bank I noticed quite a few cute tellers around my age. But of course I instantly said to myself that I wasn't about to fuck this up, and decided pursuing any relationship with these girls would open the door to getting involved in workplace politics, as well as the obvious danger of my position being jeopardized if the relationship did not work out.

But lately this one teller and I have been getting to know eachother more and more, I feel it is at the point that I could push it a little more intimately, but then all the red flags are going up.

Is there any tactful way of going about this or should I just take a cold shower and forget about it?

Does anyone else have any stories about workplace romance? Horror or otherwise?

[Harrison]

You're going to let a job get in the way of something possibly great?

Fuck the job, go for it.

[Ciladan]

This is the best position I've ever had. It's comfortable hours have allowed me to do a lot of things I've been wanting to do for a while now. As well, from my last relationship I have quite a large credit card bill to pay off. Losing this job is unfortunatly not an option

[Harrison]

If the potential relationship goes sour, are you capable of sticking it out until another option opens for you?

[Stabfase]

You could always discuss it with her, let her know what you're thinking, if a small thing like that would interfere with the relationship, she wasnt worth it in the first place.

You can "have your cake, and eat it to" it will just take a little communication. Afterall, you're both adults right?

[Diekan]

There are PLENTY of "fish in the sea." Jobs on the other hand a little harder to run across - especially jobs that you really enjoy and give you what you're looking for.

Dating coworkers is a bad idea. If doesn't work out, she has a lot more power over you. She can scream sexual harassment just to get you fired. She can cause a LOT of problems for you IF it doesn't work out.

Unless you're absolutely sure this is "the one" then I really wouldn't risk my job over it. There's a good reason companies have no dating policies in place.

It's just not worth it.

You can potentially go a long way in a bank, and even make a lot of money. You have control over your future in the bank, you have no control over how the relationship will work out. IMO it's to much of a gamble.

[Ciladan]

You could always discuss it with her, let her know what you're thinking, if a small thing like that would interfere with the relationship, she wasnt worth it in the first place.

You can "have your cake, and eat it to" it will just take a little communication. Afterall, you're both adults right?

The more I think about it, the more I think you're right. Certainly it would be in both of our best interests not to let our (potential) relationship interfere with work, even if things didn't work out we could both excerise the maturity to put it outside the workplace.

[Diekan]

You could always discuss it with her, let her know what you're thinking, if a small thing like that would interfere with the relationship, she wasnt worth it in the first place.

You can "have your cake, and eat it to" it will just take a little communication. Afterall, you're both adults right?

The more I think about it, the more I think you're right. Certainly it would be in both of our best interests not to let our (potential) relationship interfere with work, even if things didn't work out we could both excerise the maturity to put it outside the workplace.

That doesn't happen in the real world. Your relationship WILL ultimately interfere with work... it always happens. And, don't expect the "excersise of maturity" to come into play if it fails... like I said... it sounds good in theory, but in the real world that very seldomly happens.

[Ciladan]

There are PLENTY of "fish in the sea." Jobs on the other hand a little harder to run across - especially jobs that you really enjoy and give you what you're looking for.

Dating coworkers is a bad idea. If doesn't work out, she has a lot more power over you. She can scream sexual harassment just to get you fired. She can cause a LOT of problems for you IF it doesn't work out.

Unless you're absolutely sure this is "the one" then I really wouldn't risk my job over it. There's a good reason companies have no dating policies in place.

It's just not worth it.

You can potentially go a long way in a bank, and even make a lot of money. You have control over your future in the bank, you have no control over how the relationship will work out. IMO it's to much of a gamble.

Oh just so you realize the bank is not my career path. I am currently just a guard, but that places me even lower on the totem pole there.

Though she doesn't strike me as immature enough to do something like claim false sexual harassment, you do make a good point, and there is no way of telling for sure how it would work out.

Back to square one for me

[fefn]

Whatever you do Dave, buy yourself some men's sunglasses before asking the girl out.

[Phlegm]

I think you should date her secretly. Take her to some place that would be private... like say the bank vault. Throw all the cash on the floor, to make it all nice and soft, then go to town on her. If it doesnt work out, at least you can say you did a girl on a bed thats worth millions.

[Foutty]

I've dated a few girls I've worked with. I've never had any problems.

Follow Stab's advice.

[Stabfase]

It really all depends if you are willing to take risks, there is the possibility of a great relationship, there is the possibility of a horrible relationship, your job could be put in jeopardy, your job could be fine. There are go-getters in life, and there are people who play it safe. Both people end up having problems. In the end, you're the one asking the question or not.

[Ciladan]

Whatever you do Dave, buy yourself some men's sunglasses before asking the girl out.

hehe those ones broke

I got a new pair (men's :P)

<img src="http://ciladan.homestead.com/files/glamour.jpg">

Is it just me or does it look like there is a small pig reflected in my right lense laying on the moniter?

[brinstar]

oink

[Diekan]

The only way you're going to find out, is by doing it. You've been given some very bad advice by a few folks how haven't really lived long enough to understand the ills that could come of your dating a coworker.

If you're up for rolling the dice, then take the risk... but just make sure you're willing to deal with it if it ends up costing you your job, which is something that's going to follow you around for years to come (when you apply to future jobs).

Ultimately, you've got to do what you think is best and learn from your own mistakes. Those of us old enough to have actually already been through *things* like this can go on and on about the dangers, but most of you younger folks aren't going to listen anyway. Which, is part of the learning process... I doubt many of us older posters listened to those more experienced than us... it's a cycle... part of life.

[Foutty]

It really depends on the maturity level. I've seen office relationships turn ugly (to include a suicide). But every time it has been because those involved are immature and petty attention whores who dont know how to handle an adult relationship.

Like I said, I havent had any problems at all. (And I am old enough to have been through *things*)

Diekan is right, it is a gamble, but I wouldnt totally write it off. Test the waters, get a feel for things.

[The Kizzy]

Here is my advice. Take it or leave it.

I think you should wait a few more weeks, and find out what kind of person she is, talk to her, but the most important thing is, let HER make the first move. Nothing wrong with flirting and being nice, but again, let her ask you out sometime. Start with coffee, and tell her that you are interested, but you are afraid of the "typical work relationship" and what the reprecussions are if it doesn't work out. If you two still decide to continue forward, be discreet. At my work, one of the managers is dating a server, and has been for quite some time, and it's a huge no no, but the owner is cool with it because they are very discreet. At work functions they all go and hang with there own group of people.

Anyway, hope that helps, but if you are really interested in this girl, just make sure you lay some ground rules first, and no sex on the first date!!!

[Stabfase]

And I am old enough to have been through *things*

Diekan is right, it is a gamble, but I wouldnt totally write it off. Test the waters, get a feel for things.

agreed

[Lyion]

I agree with Diekan. If you plan on staying there longer than a few months, then don't fuck it up by dating a coworker. Too much bad can happen.

[Eziekial]

Tap it.

[Captain Insano]

This is the best position I've ever had. It's comfortable hours have allowed me to do a lot of things I've been wanting to do for a while now. As well, from my last relationship I have quite a large credit card bill to pay off. Losing this job is unfortunatly not an option

first and foremost and don't take this the wrong way.... STOP being a big pussy.

I'm not trying to be a cock here but get your shit straight. First, don't ever run up a fucking credit card due to a bitch.

Spend your money on yourself and the bitch's will come. Perfect example, buy a nice car and pimp out your apartment and get some nice clothes. Girls will be lining up to fuck you.

or

You can spend all your money pleasing some ingrateful ho who can't even muster the energy to suck dick once and awhile and then once the money run out she's out getting gangbanged and bitching at you for not having enough cash to keep her pleased.

Fuck that shit.

Next, don't listen to Harrison. Women aren't worth shit compared to money. Focus on the job and focus on your bankrole.

Money is the most important thing on this planet and the equation below should help clear up a few things....


Money=power=respect=sluts beggin for your nuts on their chin.

So what should you do? Don't waste time fucking girls at work. It only leads to drama. Work on getting more money and a promotion.

The only reason to screw one of the girls at work is for leverage to get more cash... Like, if you bang this chick a couple of times and she just happens to be your manager and then you dump her like a bad habit and then she freaks out and starts missing work and doing tons of coke... Well next thing you know she's been fired and your up peg higher up on the ladder.

Finally, no one in this thread except for me knows how shit really goes down so don't listen to them.

[Harrison]

Listen to the above only if you desire to follow the advice of someone with an outlook on life comparable to a 15 year old.

[Captain Insano]

Listen to the above only if you desire to follow the advice of someone with an outlook on life comparable to a 15 year old.

Or someone who is 10 times more successful than you.

[Martrae]

depends on how you measure success