Martrae wrote:Funny that homeschooling has come up. I decided to homeschool my kids this year.
If done properly, I see no reason why a child taught at home cannot function properly in college or work. I've known MANY homeschooled children (I worked at a library for 10 years) and for the most part they were the most well-behaved, bright kids to visit the library. They also were the kids with the most curious minds and love of researching new subjects. By contrast most of the kids in the public schools were disruptive and constantly kicked out of the library. They did the minimum required and rarely looked up stuff just for the fun of it. It's almost like the joy of learning was taken from them by the school system.
My neighbor is currently homeschooling her 5 kids and their house is one of the hubs of the neighborhood. They are highly active in MANY activities that allows them to interact with other kids and they aren't in the least socially backward.
My ex homeschooled my kids for a couple of years and here are some of the problems that I saw with it. Keep in mind that my ex is basically an oxygen thief who used the homeschooling for justification for sitting on her fat ass and not becoming a productive member of society, but I believe that in many cases even studious and responsible parents could fall into the same traps that she fell into. Perhaps by giving you this info you may be able to avoid these pitfalls, but it is definately something you need to watch out for.
1.) Very little interaction with other children
This is a biggie. my oldest is a very social kid she has no problem interacting with other kids ...when she sees other kids. But living in BFE made contact with other children very difficult at best. The second child is not so socially active and has become a total recluse who does not know how to deal with other children at all. The youngest is not school aged, but she frequently interupted the work and made it very difficult for the older two to stay focused on topic. The youngest still doent know how to "play nice" and we have problems with her being mean or disrespectful to other children. Even the oldest behaves very immaturely because she just doesnt know what is acceptable behavior for a girl her age. She doens't ahve any role models (even bad role models teach you how NOT to behave) Now you can enroll them in extra-curricular activities, but these are more social or sports related environments and don't teach the children about a "working environment" and what is acceptable within a structured setting.
2.) Not enough structure.
In traditional schools you wake up at a certain time to catch the bus, you are forced to dress to some sort of dress code (as opposed to doing school-work in a night-gown) arrive at school at a set time every day. you go to english class at a certain time every day, you go to math class at a certain time every day. projects must be completed within the alloted time span etc. This is probably more a fault of the teacher (sic) but school started at whatever time was convenient for my ex. (usually whenever she decided to drag her sorry ass out of bed) the children were allowed to keep working (or staring at a blank piece of paper) until the job was complete or until the "teacher" got fed up and bitched and moaned until they got to work. Some days they were done with school by 10AM some days they were still sitting at the table when dinner time rolled around at 6PM. What this does not teach (or rather is counter-productive) is that in the real world (even college) people expect you to arrive promptly and ready to work and that projects must be completed in a timely manner not "whenever it is done".
3.) there were little or no consequences for failure.
They were allowed to redo (often many times) work until it was done correctly. There were never any failing grades issued. On the surface this sounds good (they learn that projects must be completed properly) but the reality was the children never learned that doing sub-par work was unacceptable and had negative consequences other than having to redo ad nauseum until it was done right. As a parent you naturally don't want ot see your children fail so the natural response is to either overlook some shortcomings or to make them redo a project until they do well. This is not good, they need an objective person to grade their work. Some of the best lessons I ever learned I learned from failure. you learn that failure is bad and to be more conscious of your work and the quality thereof.
4.) did I mention lack of socialization?
If you are going to to home school then you better prepare to enroll them in some sort of extra-curricular activities at least 3-4 days a week. Now this wasn't an issue for my ex, she just ignored this aspect of their development completely, but I have a cousin who has 4 daughters and they enroll them in a dozen extra-curricular activities each so I have seen some of the problems associated with this. If your children have differing interests it can be a real problem, because one will have dance class on one side of town and another will have swimming lessons on the other side of town and they have to be at recitals and track meets on the same day, sometimes not even in the same town. What my cousins have to do is the father goes in one direction and the mother goes in the other. Both kids meet their obligations, but dad never gets to see the swim meets and the mom never gets to see band recitals.
5.) The "teacher" has to put in about twice to three times the amount of work than the children had to perform.
Remember you have to prepare "class" every day, you have to gather materials (this gets expensive quick, you have the normal books and pencils etc that all kids need, but you also have to buy or download and print worksheets, study materials, etc. lots of hidden cost) All this takes time. Then you have to grade their work, you have to explain their errors to them, you have to file and keep up with grades and many other time consuming (although rewarding) tasks. If you dont have 8-12 hours a day (in addition to the 6 hours that you are actually "teaching") you probably arent going to be able to provide a complete curriculum. This is accomlished in traditional schools by the fact that the curriculum is pretty much the same every year for each grade and the teachers have many years to prepare and perfect the curriculum, and they have the support of other teachers who have taught the same lessons previously. As a home school parent you don't have that luxury. You have a new curriculum to prepare every year and you don't have several years to perfect it.
6.) Children don't listen to their parents.
I am sure you have noticed how much better your children behave at other people's houses than at your own. This is natural, all kids do it to one degree or another. There is the tendancy for children to think their parents havent got sense enough to blow their own noses, must less actually know what the hell they are talking about. I don't agree with this misconception, but I recognize that it exists. Also going back to something I mentioned earlier you won't have a support system of other adults to discuss issues you are having with your children. It is not uncommon for parents to "just not understand" why their children do what they do (or not as the case may be) You aren't perfect you won't be able to relate completely to your children, their experiences, and their attitudes and behaviors/actions
Now in all fairness I must admit that my children were learning material that was much more advanced than what the public schools were teaching children their age, but in the long run I did not feel like the benefits outweighed the detriments. Sure they know more about greek mythology and world history than I was taught in schools, and they weren't force-fed bullshit, (although don't under-estimate the benefit of opposing views and information that you as a parent are not aware of or don't agree with.) and we had more control over what they were taught than if they were put into a traditional school, but when you consider how much their development was stunted by the above problems I felt that they were better off in a traditional school. I finally (after two years of battling and finally asking for a divorce to put her into a posiiton where she had to get off her ass and just didnt have time to invest in home school) put my foot down and forced my ex to send them back to a traditional school.
As a loving parent you of course want to shield your children from the evils of the world, but you aren't doing them any favors by doing so. The real world (tm) isn't a pretty place and the sooner they learn to cope with that, the better off they are. Now I am not in any way advocating tossing them into the fire unprepared, but let them get into trouble occasionally, let them meet "the bad kids", let them learn that some people can't be trusted, let them learn that some people are just assholes and you still have a job to do regardless of how much of a jerk your supriors are, let them make their own mistakes, they will be better adults for it in the long run.
You probably won't change your mind about homeschooling because of my diatribe, but please for the sake of your children don't make the same mistakes that my ex made, and don't home school for more than a year or two at a time. Hopefully you arent a waste of genetic material that my ex was, but as I said I believe that these pitfalls exist regardless and you need to be aware of them so that you can try to avoid them.
My ex was also home schooled and I truly believe that this was a major contributing factor to her never finishing anything and never being able to exist in a structured environment like the fact that in 14 years she was completely unable to hold a job for more than 6 months at a time, or the fact that while she passed several classes in college, she never had a passing semester because she just never followed thru on anything and unless it was a super interesting class she lost interest and never finished.
Good luck you are in for a long day if you want to do a decent job of educating your children yourself!
A man can only live twice, once when he is born, and once when he has looked death in the eye~~~~Japanese Proverb
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