An old friend with problems

[Diekan]

I have this old buddy of mine, still living up in Ohio, who was having a hell of a time with women. Poor guy was the typical "nice guy" who believed in holding doors, buying flowers, you know - the usual pussified shit that will ensure you never get laid.

So, he calls me about a month ago and starts complaining about it. I tell him (in my exact words)... "look man, women are full of shit. They'll never tell you what they really mean or want, instead they're going to feed you bullshit that either makes them look or feel good about themselves. Just use then to get what you want. Once you're finished with them, toss em to the curb. Treat her like one of your guy friends, don't spend money on her, do what you want to do and ignore what she wants...." Do this and your luck will change.

And you know what?

He called me today and he's getting laid once, some times twice a week now. He spent a year being Mr. Nice and beating off nightly... now he's a re-born asshole and getting tons of poon tossed his way.

HAHA... I love it when it works out like that.

He now owes me a case of beer.

[Minrott]

Well, you're right. That's how to get laid. That's about it though.

[DangerPaul]

Actually, if you are a real superstud, you can be Mr Niceguy and still get laid every time you go out.

[Kramer]

Well, you're right. That's how to get laid. That's about it though.

true dat

Actually, if you are a real superstud, you can be Mr Niceguy and still get laid every time you go out.

actually if you do that enough you become the ass-clown who screws every girl you meet and never has a real relationship or holds any self-respect

But, ya know, treat people like shit, screw them, get rid of them, even though the vast majority of poeple will tell you that is a sad way to live.... you should just ignore everyone

[labbats]

Laid once or twice a week? Sounds like bullshit to me. Unless he's trolling the fat camps or something.

[Diekan]

He's actually not a bad looking guy... Dark hair, green eyes, dark complection, tall.... He was just making the mistake of being nice and polite. Once he took my advice and changed his ways - his luck changed.

You all can think what you want. But the man went from being "Mr Nice" and not getting any ass, to being "Mr Asshole" and banging chicks left and right.

Despite what women have some of you guys believing... women do not dig "nice" - they dig good looking guys who act like guys. They could care less about what kind of person you are. But, some men still have their heads up women's asses so far they still buy the bullshit they are fed.

If you wanna destroy your relationships - go ahead and start acting like you care... if you want to keep it alive... treat her no different then you do your guy friends and you won't be able to get rid of her.

[labbats]

All I'm saying is getting laid by random chicks once or twice a week, is not only incredibly overachieving, it's destined for disaster. In my best summer ever I had sex with 6 girls. That was excessive in my opinion, and I felt a bit like a male slut. But once or twice a week reflects self-loathing or some other psych-babble that's beyond me.

Women aren't peices of meat. They are people, and treating them like shit may bag some girls with low self esteem, but who gives a shit about that anyway.

Your sage advice is going to get your friend a black eye, and a broken dick.

[Gypsiyee]

Ever since I've known you, Diek, you have like this absolute hatred toward women.. now I only speak for myself here, but I'd like to apologize for all the turbo psychosluts you've met that have made you think every woman on the planet is an unintelligent malicious waste of skin with two lumps of fat below their collarbone.

Not all women are like the ones you've apparently dated.. for the long term, being a complete dickhead just won't work. Now, if you're only out to get laid, hey, congratulations. If that's what works for you, great, but make sure you're sticking to the ones with no brains and no feelings (read: Anna Nicole Smith clones) otherwise I feel sorry for the possible one or two good-hearted people who stumble in your path

There are lots of happy men in the world who have wives who love them and *gasp* they still treat their wives well - ever think that if you've had nothing but bad experiences, maybe a) you've simply been unlucky or b) it's not the women.. it's you? Maybe, god forbid, you aren't this fabulous sweet nice guy that you like to think yourself to be.

For your sake, I hope that if you ever decide to do long term, you're able to find someone so wonderful that she's willing to look past your overall attitude toward women and cope with your less than stellar past that you're creating now

[labbats]

I'm with Gypsiyee. If you are touching a nerve with me about this... then you're being a bit too excessive. I can't think of too many times that a guy talking about getting laid made me uncomfortable.

[Spazz]

Meaningless sexual encounters twice a week. I guess thats what your sposed to be into if your a guy huh ?

[Diekan]

Ok, sinse this has turned into a "why diekan hates women" thread, let me make a few things clear.

For one, I don't hate women. I just don't *need* them for anything other than sex. If relationships are things you people want to endulge in, by all means, have at it. Me? I don't have the desire or the energy to be tied to one person. I like my situation the way it is.

What do I need a relationship for? If I want to go out and do something (like catch a movie) I can pick up the phone and call any number of my friends (including some female friends). By being single, if I want to do something, I don't have to explain myself to anyone, or worry about whether or not my actions will hurt them in any way.

I don't need a woman for anything other than sex. When I need some play... I pick up my "little black book" and I call one of the 20 women on my list. One of 20 women who are of the same mindset as I. These are women who have their own careers and who have no interest in being tied down with some dude.

So what the fuck do I need a relationship for? So, I can deal with the emotional bagage and bullshit the chick totes around with her from guy to guy? So, I have to go out of my way to remember stupid "important dates" that I really don't give a shit about? So I have to go out of my way to get along with her idiot friends? So I have to make plans to do things with her? Screw that. I like being single. I like having things MY way and coming and going as I please.

When I feel the need to add a new fuck buddy to my list I'll go out and do so. But, I make it clear that I, in no way shape or form, want a relationship with her. More often then not she won't be interested... which is fine... but there is always one who wants the same thing I do.

Relationships = drama. They = headaches. They = time and money that I'm not willing to spend on anyone.

I don't treat women like shit. I don't insult them or go out of my way to hurt their feelings. Quite honestly, I just don't care about them.

I've never been one to buy into their hypocritical bullshit lies, play their games, or put with thier never ending saga(s) of on-going drama.

If relationships work for you all - fine - go for it. But, I like counting my money and making more of it - and getting some ass when I need it with no strings attached.

I've known the dude I helped for about 10 years now. He's a good guy, but he's nice. Nice in the eyes of a woman = weak. He spent the longest time being rejected and treated like shit because he was to nice. So, I helped him understand what he needed to do to get even. Now it's his turn to crush the hearts of the shallow whores who fucked him over for all that time. The more hearts he breaks the better he feels... what goes around comes around, period.

Let me add - that I'm fully aware that not every woman out there is a gold digging, game playing whore. I know this. I know that there are some decent, sweet, down to earth women who really do want to be treated right... but who has time to weed those very select few from an ocean of drama addicted, shallow, pretentious, stupid, psychos?

[Harrison]

I skipped most of your posts beyond Diekan's original...so pardon me if any of it relates to anything I say and missed out on.

I am Mr. Niceguy. It never did me any good up until now, I do admit. (relationship related, I have more people I can trust and rely on than I can shake a stick at) I don't regret any of it at all.

For sticking to my values, being the person I am, and not "what gets me laid d00d hurr hurr", I now have pretty much everything I could possibly ever want out of life at this point.

My girlfriend, previously one of my best friends, is a shining example of this. If I had "changed" and started being the typical "asshole" just to pick up sluts, I'd be alone. You are a pathetic empty shell of a man if you believe this shit you're spewing.

Yeah, you had sex X amount of times with 2,368 asian strippers!...want a cookie?

I have someone who loves me unconditionally for who I am. I have someone to go home to.

How old are you anyways? You don't sound very wise for someone obviously well beyond my years...

[Harrison]

P.S. I think from reading your last post I skipped, you have some SERIOUS issues you need looked into man. I am being 100% serious and in no way insulting you.

I would seek professional help. Someone of your age should in no way believe that crap. I think you've been hurt one too many times and blew an emotional fuse.

[Spazz]

I didnt say ya hate women im just saying pickin chicks up seems weird to me. You dont think veiwing companionship in such a negitive way you might be missing out ?

[Minrott]

Dude, Slainn 4 years ago I was right with you. Then I saw myself at 50+ with no family, no kids, lots of burned bridges, and nothing to show for my life except a tally of conquests. So I grew up.

You've got this terrible fear of being hurt. Actually caring about someone and putting your feelings in her hands, all you can feel is anticipation of the day she'll eventually crush you. Get over it, or you're going to be that guy sitting at the end of the bar sipping Pabst hitting on the 20 something bartender you hit on everyweek because you've no longer got the stuff women want in a fuck buddy relationship.

You don't have to be Mr. Niceguy, just yourself and not some "fuck the world I don't need them" facade.

[Yamori]

As a general rule of thumb, people who boast about their ability to "score chicks" - and people who go through that many diffrent partners in such a short amount of time generally have some sort of psychological issue as the root of their behavior rather than a mere desire for physical gratification - usually relating to either poor self image or intimacy issues.

-Your friendly arm-chair psychologist, Yamori

[Lyion]

While Dieks approach is wrong and a bit misogynist, the underlying point is fairly accurate. Attractive women often times want a challenge or a chase.

Often times, if a guy is polite, nice, and trying to get close with hot woman #1, she'll want absolutely nothing to do with him. He goes on the friends ladder.

Same hot woman meets another guy who is stand offish, mischievous and gives her the feeling he's better than her and he doesn't want her. Generally she'll chase the asshole guy or give into him because of the mystery and mystique of the situation.

Now, if you want a long-term relationship that is about two people with the same goals, in love, and with a good in depth future, thats more about friendship and meeting hot woman of the non bar or singles scene. She's out there but the type of guy who's failing at hot woman #1, or doing the asshole one night stand deal won't be getting the real deal because he doesn't get it yet, and know how to chase something real versus something fake.

As far as getting tons of poon, it's hugely overrated. Generally it's done as a sense of accomplishment when guys are young, but as we get older we can see random encounters with faceless people is really no different than masturbation. Worse, given you could be the next Ron Mexico.

[Minrott]

random encounters with faceless people is really no different than masturbation.

Brilliant. First time I've agreed whole heartedly with Lyion in a long time.

[Darcler]

As a general rule of thumb, people who boast about their ability to "score chicks" - and people who go through that many diffrent partners in such a short amount of time generally have some sort of psychological issue as the root of their behavior rather than a mere desire for physical gratification - usually relating to either poor self image or intimacy issues.

-Your friendly arm-chair psychologist, Yamori

Yup, thats why after being dumped or getting out of a serious relationship, you go out and fuck any ol' someone. It's from poor self image "what if noone wants me again, lets try our luck with anyone".

[Diekan]

What are you people talking about? What is so hard to understand that some people out there are not interested in being tied down? Where did I say I "used" women and treated them like shit? I thought I made it clear that I have a few "fuck buddies" who were on the same page as I and that if I wanted to do something I'd call up a friend.

The women I bang think like me... they have no interest in a relationship. They have their own thing going on... they don't want the drama of a relationship.

I don't believe "love" is as common as some of you seem to believe. We live in one of the most self-centered, shallow societies in the world. We live in a culture that peddles instant gratification cloaked in a sense of entitlement. Most people aren't willing to take the time to really get to know someone on a deep level - unless they are "hot." Most, not all, relationships have grown from a foundation of lust and infatuation... NOT love. But, you can't tell anyone that - because everyone is "smart" - at least in their own little world. The divorce rate in this country is up near 50% and the rate of infadelity is near 60% - hi - do you not see a problem with this picture? If most people were as wise about love - real love - as they so arrogently claim - then our rates of divorce and cheating wouldn't be nearly as high as they are.

When the time comes that I feel the need to settle down... then I'll settle down. But right now I have no desire to participate in a relationship.

[Trielelvan]

I don't believe in "love" is as common as some of you seem to believe. We live in one of the most self-centered, shallow societies in the world. We live in a culture that peddles instant gratification cloaked in a sense of entitlement.

That's one sad view you have regarding the capacity and power of love.
I do agree with that part about living in a society that is selfish and shallow - the USA is all about that. And yep, the rate of divorce and infidelity is pretty damned high, but then, most people in this world in general are pretty damned stupid to begin with.

However, love is there and is as commonplace as you allow for it to be. As long as you hold your views the way they are, you'll likely not see what is beyond the fuckbuddies. You won't get a chance to understand why people take the time to get to know someone and what makes it worth it, but if that's how you want it, that's cool too.

If you are happy with your lifestyle and your life, more power to you.
Just don't expect for the happily attached people here to agree with you or your views in any way, including thinking that what you did for your friend was a good thing.

I mean, consider this: not only does Jj get breakfast every morning before work (a real breakfast - not cereal and milk), but his shoes are shined, his clothes are pressed and layed out waiting for him to get out of the shower, his phone, keys, and other knicknacks needed for work are layed out with his clothes, and he gets laid nearly every morning without having to worry about STDs or an accidental pregnancy from somerandomchick_01. He has never asked me to do any of this for him, and on the days I have not had the energy, he has never complained and was perfectly capable of doing it all himself.

Why do I do all this for him? Not just because I love him, but he treats me like a queen and has never denied me anything I have wanted - ever. He makes it so that I can stay at home with our kids and raise them myself instead of having to have a babysitter, gramma, or a daycare raise them. That for me is priceless.

I realize that since we are "settled down" that it doesn't exactly fit into your current spectrum, but for real, why would anyone who has something of the above ever think in any way that what you advised for your friend was any kind of a good thing? See what I mean?
Anyway, like I said, if you're happy, keep it up and have fun while it lasts.

[Diekan]

That’s all well and good, but let’s talk about reality for a moment, shall we?

We all know that there are always exception to any rule, that being said, we know that there are good people (both men and women) out there how are good at heart and who display nothing but the most sincere of kindness and generosity. However, by and large, most people are shitheads. Take it for what it’s worth.

Some of you are firm believers in love, and that’s great. I didn’t say love didn’t exist, I said real love is a lot more rare than some of you think. Most people don’t get together because they love, or feel they could potentially love someone. They get together because for the men “she’s hot,” or for the women “he’s cute and funny.” Most people search for some mystical spark. This “spark” is based on lust and infatuation, not love. But, most people aren’t smart enough to distinguish between the two. If they don’t “spark” with someone right off the bat they move on. Regardless of well the person they’re writing off would and could treat them.

For most slender, reasonably attractive women out there it’s not about how good of a man he is. It’s about whether or not he can make them laugh, and how cute he is. Bottom line, if he’s cute and funny he’s in, regardless of how much of an asshole he is.

For most men, it’s about how “hot” she is, how big her breasts are and how nice her ass is.

For most slender, attractive women – the list of expectations are as follows:

Good looks
Sense of humor
How much he makes
What he does for a living
How much of a “guy” he is
And, not last but least – what his personality is really like.

Think it’s bullshit? Open your eyes and look outside once and a while. Maybe the problem for some of you is that you’ve been married, or have been in a relationship for so long that you have no idea what the real “single” world is like anymore.

In the real world the heavier a woman gets the more her priorities change. The heavier she gets and the less attention she gets from “hot guys” the more she starts to focus on “who” the inner person of the guy is. The more they start to dwell on “love.”

That’s how it works in the real world, like it or not.

Women, by nature, are jealous creatures. They want a guy cute enough to make their friends envious. Wrong? LOL. Hi – you’re talking about a creature that spends HOURS in the bathroom getting ready to go out for the night. A creature who’ll shop for days trying to find the right pair of shoes to match their dress. A creature that spends half a day cleaning their home to make it look as good as possible. And, you really think that when it comes to their man – they suddenly don’t care about his looks? Are you people really that naïve?

Woman are about having fun; as much fun as they can have. If he can’t make her laugh – he’s toast, period.

Why is what he does and how much he makes a factor? Because a lot of women put their self-worth in their man. “My husband is a surgeon!” The better looking, the more impressive a man’s resume is, and the more he makes the better he’ll look on her arm. The more jealous her friends will be. Ultimately, she’ll feel “valuable” that someone great looking with a lot of money finds “her” worthy of his affection.

They don’t want a guy who holds door, or buys flowers, or gives backrubs. They want a guy who acts like a guy is supposed to act in accordance to what pop culture defines as a “man’s man.”

Finally, they do care on a very low level what “his” personality is. Most women want to be the “one” who fixes him. They want to be the special one who makes him change and settle down. It’s a joke, but that’s what most women think.

Now, I said that the heavier they get the more their standards change and this is true. The heavier they get the more desperate they get and the more they start to look for “love” than they do for a cute guy who’s a lot of fun. That’s because, and I shouldn’t have to point this out, they don’t have the pool of guys to choose from as do the slender attractive women.

You take a 200 pound woman and take away about 80 pounds and see how she acts. She if she sticks to her agenda of “looking for real love.” You’re a fool if you think she will. She’ll resort to the skinny hot girl mentality and completely forget that she was dreaming of “love” at one point.

Part of the problem is that the majority of this country is overweight. Slender attractive women can act like shallow bitches because they have very little to no competition. They can get any man they want and they know it. They’re not going to settle for mister nice average guy, period.

Most people in the country don’t have a clue of what real love is. They only know what makes them horny and feel good for a short period of time. And, this is what they use to decide if they want to marry someone, for the most part. Sooner or later it fails and they up getting divorced, but they’re to stupid to remember the lesson they just learned and they’ll make the same mistake again and again and again.

Relationships are overrated. Human beings do not “need” someone at their side in order to be happy.

[Kramer]

I think WE get it....

screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE screwing people is the most important thing and it must be with slender attractive bitches so i must act like a dillhole and it is justified SINCE

[Darcler]

Once you stop dating the barely legals, you will find that it is harder and harder to find a "slender attractive" woman that just wants sex. It is in a woman's nature to "settle down". Woman are put on Earth to find a mate and breed.
That being said, it is true that some women want to be the one to change a man, they want the asshole they can show off to their friends that they trained to open doors or buy things. But those are shallow shallow people. My cousin is one of them and I try my hardest not to hang around her too much because she just pisses me off.
I liked reading boy's post because the SINCE was going perfectly diagonal.

[Gargamellow]

jesus fucking christ Diek you are fucking stupid in 2 threads...you going for NT dumbass crown today?