Stupid Joke of the Day

[Adivina]

A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon. The boy has his dog pulling it with a rope attached to the dogs balls. The man says "You know if you tied it around his neck, it would go faster." The boy replies, "I know but then I wouldn't get the cool siren."

[Phlegm]

[Ginzburgh]

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

[araby]

A man and his wife are in bed and he wants to get busy, so he starts making the moves when she says, "hon, I have a gynecologist appt tomorrow, I want to be fresh and clean" to which he responded, "you don't have a dentist appointment do you?"

[Griever]

hahahhahahaahahhhaaaahaaahhhahahhahahhahahahRAWFUL!!!

[Griever]

You ninja posted me Araby.. but yours was actually pretty funny.

[Jay]

I don't remember if this joke was posted here or what but:

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together. They walk past a group of young boyscouts. The priest gets this mischievious look on his face and looks at the rabbi and says "Hey, we should fuck em." The rabbi thinks for a minute, then he gets the same look in his face and says "I think that's a good idea, but fuck em out of what?"

[Adivina]

The wrong e-mail address


LESSON to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they
spent their honeymoon 20 years before.=20


Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their
travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on
Friday, and his wife was flying down the following day.


The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a
computer in his room, and he decided to send an email to his wife. Howev er,
he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without
noticing his error, sent the email to the wrong address.


Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston... a widow had just returned


home from her husband's funeral. He was a Minister who was called home to
glory after suffering a heart attack.


The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and
friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted. The
widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and then
glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife

Date: Friday, October 13, 2005

Subject: I have Arrived!


Dearest Love:


I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and
you are allowed to send email to your loved ones. I have just arrived and
have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your
arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then.


Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


PS: Sure is hot down here!!

[Maeya]

What kind of bees don't sting?







Boobies!

[Adivina]

Soup

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The old man says "I'll have the soup."

[Arlos]

2 men are sitting at a bar at the top of a skyscraper in a large city, drunk off their ass. First guy turns to the 2nd, and says in a drunken slur, "Hey, man, wanna hear an amazing true fact? These skyscrapers get so much updraft from wind, it gets so strong it'll actually hold you up and lift you!"

2nd drunk guy answers, "Naw, you're full of shit, you're pulling my leg, no fuckin way"

1st guy says, "Don't believe me? I'll show you!"

He heads over to a window in the bar & throws it open, and the noise from a huge rush of wind is really obvious. He says, "Now, just watch!" and leaps out the window, as the 2nd guy watches in shock.

Few seconds later, sure enough, the first guy shows back up in the window, grabs on, and climbs back in.

First guy says, "See! It works! It's fun, too!"

2nd guy says, "Wow! I gotta try that", then runs over to the window, and leaps out, and falls 100 stories to his death.

As the 1st guy sits down at the bar again, the bartender turns to him and says, "Damn, but you're a mean drunk, Superman..."


-Arlos

[Tikker]

What's the difference between pink and purple?







her grip