by Arlos » Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:18 pm
Why yes, Tikker, I did. I did a fair bit of reading, plus talked to people I knew about it. The more I looked into it, the more I found that much of the beliefs espoused therein were ones I already believed in, so it wasn't a case of "Hey, I like this religion, I'll believe X, Y & Z now!", it was much more a case of "Hey, I believe X, Y & Z already, and here's a religion that ALSO believes that."
After all, for example, humanity is dualist, split into man and woman, why should the divine be different? Indeed, we all have a small spark of the divine within each one of us, and we can each find our own way to enlightenment, there is no one true absolute path for all people, any more than all people are identical to each other. I don't pray to Zeus or Odin or anything like that, ultimately there's the duality, but which can be manifested in a myriad of ways, because HUMANS are different in a myriad of ways. Well-known aspects such as The Green Man and the Mother are just that, aspects, that represent common themes among humans and nature that many people can relate to. They are not all of it though, any more than 1 mountain is all of a mountain range. Ultimately, we each have our own way of connecting to the divine, and the way I do it and the way I view the God and Goddess isn't going to be exactly the same as anyone else, because I'm not the same as anyone else.
So, after doing the reading and talking to people, I actually went to some circles, and FELT the energy and the interconnectedness of everyone celebrating, and that was that. I didn't convert so much as came home, if that makes any sense. (which I doubt it does to anyone else)
I know no one here will believe it, and that's fine, but I have felt energy get called up, get sent out, and the excess grounded back into earth. I have sat in a circle of a dozen people passing energy around from one person to the next in a ring, feeling almost like a big charge of static electricity, and every single person in that circle knew exactly where the energy was in the circle, so if it was a hallucination, it was a shared one, and happened while we were all stone cold sober.
I've gone to an outdoor festival for one of the major holidays, with the sky all gloomy and drizzling. I took part in a circle dance and the raising of a cone of energy, and as we directed it upward, literally a hole opened up in the clouds over the field we were in, and we were suddenly bathed in sunlight. After we were done, and grounded the energy back into the earth, the hole in the clouds closed right back up again. Heck, one time I had a female friend who would get terrible migraines that anti-migraine drugs would barely touch, and I stopped one cold using nothing but my voice and energy I channeled through me, through my hands, and into her.
Hell, most people don't even realize why circles are used to begin with. As an analogy, it would be a bad idea to record an acoustic a cappella record in a building with people using jackhammers, right? You'd go to some quiet sound proofed room to do it. That's all creating a circle is for, to create a clean quiet space, blocked off from outside influences and energy. There's a lot of tools and trappings that get used that look odd, I am sure, but ultimately, none of them are really necessary. Sure, they make things easier, and make for nice aesthetics and theatre, but still, all you really need is you. It's kinda like with Christianity, you don't NEED to be in someplace as gorgeous as Notre Dame cathedral, all you really need is a private place and time to do your praying, but if you had access to a Notre Dame, it sure would be nicer to use it, eh?
Anyway, I'm sure this'll sound crazy to a lot of people, and I'm sure I'll get a ton of people making fun of me, but that's life for you. I have my own way of worshiping and connecting, and it's not the same as anyone else's. That's the thing though, Wiccanism embraces and celebrates that diversity at its very core. That's one of the very few fundamental tenets: that we each have our own spiritual path, and we have to make our own way along it. That's why I can say I completely respect Christians, and their desire to follow their own spiritual path to their own interpretation of the divine, but not respect the institutional Churches, which try to force everyone into following in the exact same way and mold by enforcing rigid dogmatic doctrine.
Sorry for rambling and going on at such length, but someone did ask. Flame and insult away, I'm sure many of you can't wait. Don't worry, I doubt I'll be as open about something this personal on here again.
-Arlos