namelesstavern.net

Tikker wrote:

Gypsiyee wrote:yeah, but as with everything there is a time and a place

to have manners is one thing; to treat a casual dinner with friends at a regular old restaurant as a black tie affair is just pompous.

(sorry I tried to post this like 4 times earlier but it kept timing out)

that's a different context tho

there's different rules for different places

like, if i'm out eating hotwings

you don't put the bones back on the same plate as the wings

most of it's just common sense really

Napkin etiquette isn't common sense. There's a difference.

10sun wrote:

Tae-Bo wrote:

10sun wrote:Sorry for being honest, but I was raised to use proper table manners and I respect others who had a shared background. I attend several black tie events throughout the course of every year because of my father's family. Either I take someone who can stand on their own in that sort of social setting or I don't invite them. Sorry for being from a background that requires me to dress up and know proper decorum.

meeper's method of holding a spoon in his clenched fist like a child must have driven you crazy

Hell, he had never had cheesecake before... I just felt bad for the kid.

all he ate at my house was frozen pizza, hot pockets, and count chocula

just because YOU don't know the rules doesn't make them uncommon

it's your fault for not knowing expected decorum when entering a specific style of restaurant

just like there's expected dress code differences between going to a game, and going to the symphony

or even something as simple as different expectations for tipping between a restaurant, and a fast food joint

they are all little social peculiarities that you pick up on, or not

saying that someone is elitist for knowing them, and finding ignorance of the niceties less attractive is just stupid

Who said I didn't know them. I'd never dare look down on someone for not knowing something so trivial and arbitrary.

There's a world of difference between common courtesy and etiquette.

Stop picking a fight. It just makes you look like a douchebag.

seems to me you were the one who started slinging the insults first

Who gives a flying fuck how you eat?

do you eat spaghetti with your hands?

dude ok i can understand general manners like eating with silverware and using napkins and stuff, but someone putting their napkin in the wrong place is not going to affect how i view them >< seriously, how strange. i mean, i'm not one to judge about what other people find important, b/c y'know, different strokes and all that . . . but really. that's bizarre.

leah wrote:dude ok i can understand general manners like eating with silverware and using napkins and stuff, but someone putting their napkin in the wrong place is not going to affect how i view them >< seriously, how strange. i mean, i'm not one to judge about what other people find important, b/c y'know, different strokes and all that . . . but really. that's bizarre.

you're missing the point

in your normal world view, people use silverware to eat

in someone else's world view, they know which fork is for which course, and where the napkin lives, and all it's rules

somewhere else, someone knows that beer is cold, while in another part of the world, beer is warm

it has nothing to do with being elitist to prefer someone with the same tastes/backgrounds


looking DOWN on someone else for their ignorance of your rules would be elitist

Harrison wrote:Who gives a flying fuck how you eat?

It would bother me if the person chewed with their mouth open, persisted on talking with their mouth full, snatched food off my plate without asking, uses their fingers for all foods, and other such disgusting habits. So, I think a majority of people give a flying fuck how people eat - but some people just happen to care more than others.

I prefer a person to be polite at the table, but I don't care if they use a salad fork instead of a dinner fork, or use the wrong spoon, or where they put their napkin (unless it's covered in food and they set it on the table near me) - but I also am not going to black tie affairs.

My ex's family was that way. I know how to do all that superfluous bullshit.

It's still fucking ridiculous.

Tikker wrote:

leah wrote:dude ok i can understand general manners like eating with silverware and using napkins and stuff, but someone putting their napkin in the wrong place is not going to affect how i view them >< seriously, how strange. i mean, i'm not one to judge about what other people find important, b/c y'know, different strokes and all that . . . but really. that's bizarre.

you're missing the point

in your normal world view, people use silverware to eat

in someone else's world view, they know which fork is for which course, and where the napkin lives, and all it's rules

somewhere else, someone knows that beer is cold, while in another part of the world, beer is warm

it has nothing to do with being elitist to prefer someone with the same tastes/backgrounds


looking DOWN on someone else for their ignorance of your rules would be elitist

it just seems to me that there's more looking down on than preferring going on here, but maybe i'm just misconstruing.

either way, it just seems like a silly thing to make into a huge deal. *shrug* like i said, different strokes . . .

Zanchief wrote:For shame if a women ever put her napkin in the wrong place. That could possibly signal to the waiter that she owes him a yack on the up coming solstice. Then what would you do?!?!

Etiquette is just a list of arbitrary rules put in place to ensure the divide between upper and middle class. To even acknowledge them, let alone require them, is just perpetuating that kind of horrible behaviour.

Everyone has different standards about what they think is rude. Mine are a little more simple. I don't want to be with someone who is a total slob when it comes to eatting. If you get more food on the table and your chest than you do in your mouth, stay away from me.

If you chomp and eat with your mouth open, stay away from me. If you can't wait to talk until you're done chewing, stay away from me.

If you eat with a caveman grip on your fork or spoon etc.

I was also taught how to properly hold my silverware, cut my food properly with a knife and fork without screeching across the plate etc.

However, I wasn't taught to eat from left or right or vice versa when it comes to my utensils. I don't think my standards are unreasonable, I'm pretty lax when it comes to that stuff.

I require very few things from a mate but the things I do require I will not give on.

My moms side of the family is that way, all proper and shit with dinners. Dads side of the family is a different story.

I like a relaxed, steakhouse style dinner. I guess I do have some experience eating at nice places with the table manner stuff just because of mom's side, but I 100% do my absolute best to try and avoid eating at places with a bunch of fucking snobs that think because they can afford to eat a $50 dollar meal they are better. Just feels out of place to have a stupid fucking certain place to put the napkin after a meal, or which silverware to use first...its a godamn fork for fucks sake. Id like to meet the dickhead who decided to have 600 forks and spoons for a single meal.

Of course, I dont want someone sitting in front of me chewing and talking and spitting shit all over the place or anything like that, just a relaxed steakhouse setting that you dont have to worry about being too loud in or whatever when you laugh, etc. Throw on a nice pair of boots, T shirt, and head out to have a nice big steak and a couple cold beers

Tikker wrote:you're missing the point

in your normal world view, people use silverware to eat

in someone else's world view, they know which fork is for which course, and where the napkin lives, and all it's rules

somewhere else, someone knows that beer is cold, while in another part of the world, beer is warm

it has nothing to do with being elitist to prefer someone with the same tastes/backgrounds


looking DOWN on someone else for their ignorance of your rules would be elitist

No, you're missing the point.

Having respect for someone you're eating with isn't the same. Behaviour is to a degree based on your environment, but chewing with your mouth closed, eating with utensils etc is sanitary and pretty universal.

The rest is ALL show. The only purpose to do it, is to make people who don't feel inferior.

Gaazy wrote:My moms side of the family is that way, all proper and shit with dinners. Dads side of the family is a different story.

I like a relaxed, steakhouse style dinner. I guess I do have some experience eating at nice places with the table manner stuff just because of mom's side, but I 100% do my absolute best to try and avoid eating at places with a bunch of fucking snobs that think because they can afford to eat a $50 dollar meal they are better. Just feels out of place to have a stupid fucking certain place to put the napkin after a meal, or which silverware to use first...its a godamn fork for fucks sake. Id like to meet the dickhead who decided to have 600 forks and spoons for a single meal.

Of course, I dont want someone sitting in front of me chewing and talking and spitting shit all over the place or anything like that, just a relaxed steakhouse setting that you dont have to worry about being too loud in or whatever when you laugh, etc. Throw on a nice pair of boots, T shirt, and head out to have a nice big steak and a couple cold beers

Bizactly.

Zanchief wrote:
No, you're missing the point.

Having respect for someone you're eating with isn't the same. Behaviour is to a degree based on your environment, but chewing with your mouth closed, eating with utensils etc is sanitary and pretty universal.

The rest is ALL show. The only purpose to do it, is to make people who don't feel inferior.

nope, you're still missing the point

eating with utensils is familiar to you
travel somewhere else, hell go to someplace like japan where the rules are just DIFFERENT and see how people react to your canadian way of doing certain things

Tikker wrote:

Zanchief wrote:
No, you're missing the point.

Having respect for someone you're eating with isn't the same. Behaviour is to a degree based on your environment, but chewing with your mouth closed, eating with utensils etc is sanitary and pretty universal.

The rest is ALL show. The only purpose to do it, is to make people who don't feel inferior.

nope, you're still missing the point

eating with utensils is familiar to you
travel somewhere else, hell go to someplace like japan where the rules are just DIFFERENT and see how people react to your canadian way of doing certain things

No, it really isn't.

Would I have to bang on the table six times then say the magic password of elitism before eating? If not, it's not the same at all.

Ever eaten at an Etheopian restaurant? No utensils. They give you a bunch of these crepe-like things that you use to put the food in and pick it up, then you just seat the stuff with the bread stuff. Some awesome food, actually. Spicy as fuck too, lots of it. One dish we had, the initial spicy hit was hotter than anything else I'd eaten. The weird thing about it was that it didn't build up hotter and hotter like mexican food or wasabi do, say. First bite was as hot as it got. Still, it was like getting kicked in the face it was so hot, but damn was it good.

Anyway, just pointing out that even utensils aren't universal.

-Arlos

Arlos wrote:Ever eaten at an Etheopian restaurant? No utensils. They give you a bunch of these crepe-like things that you use to put the food in and pick it up, then you just seat the stuff with the bread stuff. Some awesome food, actually. Spicy as fuck too, lots of it. One dish we had, the initial spicy hit was hotter than anything else I'd eaten. The weird thing about it was that it didn't build up hotter and hotter like mexican food or wasabi do, say. First bite was as hot as it got. Still, it was like getting kicked in the face it was so hot, but damn was it good.

Anyway, just pointing out that even utensils aren't universal.

-Arlos

Did you have to do a dance before seating yourself? Did you have say a prayer to the Unicorn god?

Ah kk it's different.

you ever had tea in japanese restaurant?

one of the ones where you have to take off your shoes?

ever been to a marial arts dojo
one of the ones where you're expected to bow when you enter, or leave the mat?

ever been to a sumo event? they throw salt(i think it's salt anyways) around the ring


it's all part of the ritual
it has nothing to do with elitism


R
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same thing

Tikker wrote:

Zanchief wrote:
No, you're missing the point.

Having respect for someone you're eating with isn't the same. Behaviour is to a degree based on your environment, but chewing with your mouth closed, eating with utensils etc is sanitary and pretty universal.

The rest is ALL show. The only purpose to do it, is to make people who don't feel inferior.

nope, you're still missing the point

eating with utensils is familiar to you
travel somewhere else, hell go to someplace like japan where the rules are just DIFFERENT and see how people react to your canadian way of doing certain things

The rules here change depending on the decor as well. So that example is complete horse shit and you know it. You're just being an ass and want to argue.

you guys are straying way off topic man

adam was using it as a universal - he didnt say a certain affair, he said in general people need to use rule x and rule y - he didn't say that it's in exclusive situations

the point is, expecting black tie mannerisms at *every* type of setting would make someone appear uppity and is the typical demeanor of snobby suburban types - it is *not normal* in a steakhouse setting to properly put your napkin in your lap and drape it on the side of your plate or whatever he was on about

table manners != charm school etiquette, and the latter is *completely* situational.

No shit. I want to see someone go to a good BBQ place and get a half slab of baby backs with a bunch of sauce on them and get by with one napkin daintily placed in your lap. No fucking chance.

-Arlos

Arlos wrote:No shit. I want to see someone go to a good BBQ place and get a half slab of baby backs with a bunch of sauce on them and get by with one napkin daintily placed in your lap. No fucking chance.

-Arlos

Actually I try and keep my napkin in my lap most of the time, I however am not dainty when it comes to eating bbq. :D