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Zanchief wrote:Murder her.

then

Zanchief wrote:You should go on Springer.

The Kizzy wrote:

Zanchief wrote:Murder her.

Violence is not always the answer

Really?

Zanchief wrote:

The Kizzy wrote:

Zanchief wrote:Murder her.

Violence is not always the answer

Really?

STOP MAKING ME LAUGH I AM TRYING TO BE ALL DEPRESSED TODAY

The Kizzy wrote:

Zanchief wrote:

The Kizzy wrote:

Zanchief wrote:Murder her.

Violence is not always the answer

Really?

STOP MAKING ME LAUGH I AM TRYING TO BE ALL DEPRESSED TODAY

oh.

Put your kids up for adoption, better yet, sell em on the black market. Don't have to worry about em anymore and you come away 50k richer.

The Kizzy wrote::eyecrazy:

Girl, I'm giving you gold here and you're completely ignoring me. Normally I would charge for this kind of advice.

I love my kiddies, I wouldn't want to put them up for adoption

No wonder you got problems.

The Kizzy wrote:I love my kiddies, I wouldn't want to put them up for adoption

It's not like you cant squirt out more.

I didn't read all the replies so I'm not sure if this has been said. I've been divorced for around 5 years now. I have 2 girls by him, ages 16 and 14 now. I'm very serious in saying you need to do what it takes to make it work regardless. The most important thing here is that your boys are good, which I'm sure you already know. Maybe try talking to his new girlfriend, get on good ( or as good as you can) with her. Swallow all the pissiness you may feel and just try and get along. Also making her a part of whats going on may ease some jealousey on her part to make it easier to get along. Believe me, my ex married a 22 year old from Loas. I try my best to include her in everything, invite her to my home etc...

Anyways, I'm just saying you may have to be the better person here and eat alot of shit. I have my fair share and it's hard to swallow, but it will be alot easier on your boys. Maybe try a mediator or counsling instead of a lawyer? It always gets so ugly when the court has to be involved.

Oh, and just smile and nod alot.

I think you're making it worse by being the way you are about it. I'd stay out of it. Do what you're supposed to do when it comes to taking care of your kids. If he's a slackboss, then that's on him. Don't even comment about it to your kids. Leave it alone, do your thing with all your mighty might and forget about him.

If he won't take responsibility then you have to pick up the slack and that sucks but it's how it is. Your boys will see it, just like you said your nine year old sees it now.

TL;DR

I'll read it after I rest up a bit.

I just want to add one other thing before alot of replies are added. As Moms, we take alot of shit. As Moms AND ex wives we take alot more. I know your going to be put out ALOT. Your going to be pissed ALOT. But just take all off it in with a grain of salt. We do alot for our kids, remember your doing it for yours. It's really too bad he is choosing a snatch over his babies.

exploit wrote:Since neither of you want them why dont you just sell them into slavery?

While that was a really shitty thing to say, I think the nicer version of it is that it almost seems like the kids are a burden to both of you.. kids are super intuitive, and they pick up on that so no matter what you do with the dad they're going to feel that way

I know you love them Kiz, but flexibility isn't really an option with children. You need to look into your heart as a mother and try to think about what's going to make those children most happy, not what's going to be more convenient on yours and his schedule.

The girlfriend sounds like a nutcase, and you need to think if your kids should even be around her. If your ex husband is going to pick her over your kids, they're going to pick up on that and it's really going to hurt them in the long run.. my dad did something similar (although it's not the same type of situation.. long story) to me when I was younger, and I still haven't forgiven him for it and it's really had an impact on who I am today - I have a really hard time trusting people, and had my mom known what was going on back then and had the opportunity to change it, I'd be a much different person today.

The problem with children is they love their parents (especially at that age) unconditionally and will almost always bite their tongues to an extent and keep secrets about their true feelings in their heads so they don't hurt their parents feelings. Your son might not even tell you all that goes on at his dad's house because he doesn't want to hurt the relationship with his dad, and it's not going to be something you have control over.

You need to sit down with your ex WITHOUT the girlfriend and have a heart to heart.. whether that cuntdrip wants it to be true or not, your kids come first, not her. He has a responsibility to his children first, and his dick should ALWAYS be after that. If you think it's not something that can be resolved between the two of you, you need to see your lawyer, and keep your children's exposure to the adult matters to a bare minimum.. they arent adults and don't need to know a lot of the stuff that it seems they do. I doubt you do, but you shouldn't tell them anything ill of their father - likewise, he shouldn't speak badly of you around them. They will love both of you, and playing them against the other side will only form resentment in the long run

Good luck to you Janet.. its a rough situation to be in.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the advice.

I'm just going to add one more thing here. I really think you SHOULD sit down with the girlfriend. Like it or not your ex brought her into your picture. Fathers alot of the time DO end up ditching thier old responsibilites in favor of fresh pussy. It's not right, but that's the truth. You now have the responsibility of trying to make this new relationship mesh. I've been on both sides of the coin and it really stinks.

She is now the primary female figure in your older sons life because he lives with her. Think about what she could be saying to him...... Just try and get with her and involve her in whats going on. Hopefully it all works out. Like I said you have to eat alot of shit, but if your kids come out the better for it, it's all worth it.

Then when the kids move out and are on thier own, go beat the living crap out of her.

Sorry for the bump, but I wanted to update everyone.

My ex husband's best friend and wife had me over for a party. While he remains friends with the ex, they aren't as close as tehy once were because of the cheating and some other drama that happened afterwards. Her husband and my husband work together, along with more from my old circle of friends from when I was married before.

It seems that he told my girlfriend that he knows he loved me, but he always felt that he was forced to love me, and now he realizes that it doesn't matter, he still loved me. He is very unhappy where he is. She takes what is left of his paychecks and pays her bills, leaving him with nothing. She is also a toal control freak and he can't stand it. He told my friend that the biggest mistake he ever made was leaving me.

It seems that he is waiting for me to finish nursing school so that he can ask me to find a job near his work and we can move down there together. This is his plan.

I am very torn. The only pro that I can think of is that it would be alot easier on the kids if we were back together, but is that enough? This is all my son talks about recently.

There are a ton of cons, he has cheated on me twice, what is to say he won't do it again the next time someone he thinks he is in love with after one date comes along. He also CAN NOT be alone. He won't leave her until he can feel secure with finding a place to live with me. My family would kill me, my friends would disown me. This is just starters. I also don't like the person I was when I was with him.

But does that one pro outweigh all the cons? Should I go back, therefore teaching my children that it is okay to cheat on your wife and treat her like shit because as long as you say your sorry, she will take you back.

I am pretty much leaning towards telling him to fuck off, but then all I can see is my son's face dreaming of us getting back together.

ok done blogging.

Being with someone 'for the kids' is NEVER a good idea. In the worst case scenario you might come to resent the kids for you being in a miserable situation.

Sounds like he thinks you'll be making the big bucks and he wants to be there with his hand (and dick) out. He doesn't want a wife/gf, he wants a mommy.

I didn't think about it from that angle. Thanks.

I can't believe you're even considering it for one second.

Some women invite problems onto themselves.

Martrae wrote:Being with someone 'for the kids' is NEVER a good idea. In the worst case scenario you might come to resent the kids for you being in a miserable situation.

Sounds like he thinks you'll be making the big bucks and he wants to be there with his hand (and dick) out. He doesn't want a wife/gf, he wants a mommy.

There it is right there. Hey, guess what, if you weren't happy with the ex, the kids will see it and feel it if they don't already. (And I'll bet they do.) The kids may think now that mommy and daddy being together is a great idea now, but when the problems start again you'll all end up suffering for it. Do you really want to be with someone who won't go with you until you start making good money? What a shithead.

I guess my emotions clouded my judgement. I really didn't consider the money thing.

Your problem is like most women you fall in love with some shithead and only think about the "good" things. And then dwell on oh maybe he can change and do those good things all the time! Oh he loved me so much that he cheated on me! Well maybe he wont' next time since I love him so much.

Guess what, men don't change. He was a shithead before, he still is.