I need an outsiders advice!

Eldred · Post by **Eldred** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:31 am

The best relationships come out of good friends. I agree w/ Erod. Take the next step, treat her like you have been, continue to do so. I doubt she'll "wander" away if she allready has feelings, just keep it up and her feelings will probally only grow for you. But yes, tap that ass.

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:44 am

Let her know you want more than just a lay out of this relationship. But remember she just got out of a relationship so let her know you dont want to be the rebound guy.

Trielelvan · Post by **Trielelvan** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:48 am

Markarado wrote:I've been worried about the whole rebound thing, but at this point I'm pretty sure that's not an issue anymore.

Markarado wrote:She's now been living with me for a month and a half, which is how long she has been single since her last relationship.

A month and a half is hardly enough time to be able to tell whether or not rebound issues are still going to come into play. You can say, or she can say, that things are perfectly fine right now. Then, 8 months from now, just when you think everything is going well, the bomb will drop, you will do something that is reminiscent of the ex, and she will flip the fuck out like egg foo yung on toast. It's very hard to say because rebound issues vary in both severity and length so much from person to person. You could sleep together now, she be perfectly fine today, and then later get 67 kinds of pissed off at you for "taking advantage of her." You just have to gauge her carefully accordingly to her personality.

All that junk said, I say go for it.
You sound like a decent guy. What you are doing right now sounds exactly like what you should be doing to keep her feeling safe and secure with you without being overwhelmed. She's got to have the space. 9 times out of 10, the girl will back off if she feels you are becoming too clingy - major turn-off right there in every way. This can be anything from (extreme e.g.) following her around everywhere, to (not so extreme e.g.) getting a little quiet and sounding disappointed when she tells you she wants to spend the day alone or whatever. Women hone in on that sort of thing and feel guilty about it, even knowing they have no reason to. They put pressure on themselves in this way, and this is partially what inspires the feelings of being overwhelmed and trapped. Get what I'm saying?

Reassure her that you are willing to wait for her and have no issues giving her time to adjust. Keep wining and dining her. When she wants the physical closeness, give it to her, and make damned sure you don't fall asleep right after

There's 2cp and the Oprah Winfrey version of one female's perspective lol.
Good luck. I hope it works out for the best

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:31 am

Is that the girl in your gallery? Your house mate?

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:32 am

And fuck rebound issues. Just do it.

I don't undertand why everyone always has to make a big deal out of "dating" someone else. There isn't a million things to consider, there aren't a million things you have to "lay out on the table", there aren't rules and boundries and guidelines and all that horse shit.

If you like her, just be nice to her, start doing things with her and let nature take its course.

Just go with the flow, be yourself and always remember...Joe Cool always loses.

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:30 am

Ginzburgh wrote:And fuck rebound issues. Just do it.

I don't undertand why everyone always has to make a big deal out of "dating" someone else. There isn't a million things to consider, there aren't a million things you have to "lay out on the table", there aren't rules and boundries and guidelines and all that horse shit.

If you like her, just be nice to her, start doing things with her and let nature take its course.

Just go with the flow, be yourself and always remember...Joe Cool always loses.

and if she uses him as a rebound boyfriend...then wow...he lost a friend as well as a chance at something good.

talk to her and make she both of you understand where you want the relationship to go.

Adivina · Post by **Adivina** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:42 am

Do as others have already suggested. You need to be attentive to her, but don't be pushy. Give her time to think, but make sure to do things to remind her how great things would be if you were with her. Treat her right, but don't be needy. Don't give her too much attention, just be thoughtful. I hope this works out for you, being best friends with your signifigant other is the most wonderful thing.

I was friends with Aryylas for years, and when we finally both admitted that we had feelings for eachother it was very slow and tentative at first, I think we were both scared of the whole losing a friend thing just as you are. However, if I had not taken the plunge and gone for him, my life would be very empty in comparison today. 5 years later I am still with him and I hope to be with him for the rest of my life, and through the relationship he still continues to be my best friend. He tells me all the time that he doesn't think of me as just a girlfriend, its something different, something more special. That is what dating someone who is your best friend does.

Good luck man.

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:57 am

and if she uses him as a rebound boyfriend...then wow...he lost a friend as well as a chance at something good.

talk to her and make she both of you understand where you want the relationship to go.

Oh so so long as she SAYS she isn't going to use him as a rebound than it DEFINTELY wonâ€™t happen. Because girls NEVER change their minds at the drop of the dime and they ALWAYS see things through.

Fuck that, some things are better off not said. Why doom a relationship by bringing up negatives before the relationship even starts.

That's like saying, "Ok I'll go out with you so long as you don't break my heart". It shows that you lack confidence and girls want nothing to do with wimps.

You want some advice, go for it all the way, be positive, be yourself, and have good times. If you play it like that, there is no reason to bring up the negatives because she won't want to leave you.

mappatazee · Post by **mappatazee** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:07 am

Is she the 'housemate' in your gallery? You must do her or you will regret it.

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:10 am

Yeah, she really is hot.

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:11 am

Wtf are you doing in Malaysia anyway?

Post by **Mop** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:26 am

i read the first couple word but i say bang your friends gf, im not sure if thisis what its about but bang her then cum on his pillow.

Gargamellow · Post by **Gargamellow** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:30 am

well..what's done is done

just go with it and hope it works out

you cannot change what has happened, there is no going back....

might as well try to move forward, you could end up married

or u could end up looking for a new best friend...but if that's the case, then you won't care about her friendship by then anyway

Sithos · Post by **Sithos** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:42 am

My advice is to not come to NT for any type of dating or relationship tips.

But seeing as you have I advise going nuts deep and dropping a load in her belly button.

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 9:48 am

Sithos you pig!

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 10:35 am

BE A MAN, tell her how you feel, then let her make the next move.

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 10:45 am

Ginzburgh wrote:Sithos you pig!

shit me and Ginz have agreed...is jesus coming back tonight?

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:00 am

BE A MAN, tell her how you feel, then let her make the next move.

And don't forget to pick up a box of tampons when you're at the grocery
store.

And it's just like a woman to say "tell her how you feel".

99% of women head for the hills when you tell them "how you feel" at the beginning stages of a relationship. Just have a good time for now.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:12 am

The Kizzy wrote:BE A MAN, tell her how you feel, then let her make the next move.

Mark, that's the absolute worst advice you could possibly take right here. You let her make the move, you'll never get to see the relationship side of this. Take control, make her comfortable, let her know what you're about a little at a time but don't take too much time and go for the kill and TAP THAT ASS. :vv:

Post by **Martrae** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:48 am

Triel has the best advice...listen to her.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:52 am

kaharthemad wrote:Let her know you want more than just a lay out of this relationship. But remember she just got out of a relationship so let her know you dont want to be the rebound guy.

But don't forget to mention the lay itself.

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:02 pm

exactly

Dylan · Post by **Dylan** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:31 pm

The absolute worst thing you can do in a relationship that you want to last is live with the person during the dating period.

You might as well throw in the towel right now.

Ginzburgh · Post by **Ginzburgh** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:33 pm

The absolute worst thing you can do in a relationship that you want to last is live with the person during the dating period

That's fairly vague. I know plenty of people who lived with their girlfriends before getting married and it's worked just fine.

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:38 pm

Trielelvan said:

when she tells you she wants to spend the day alone or whatever

I hate when women say that. It's so annoying. :-x

Women who say that kind of thing shouldn't get involved in serious relationships.