namelesstavern.net

What's next, Mindia, Elephant jokes?

-Arlos

3 guys walk into a bar. One white, one asian, one black. White guy walks in and see's Jesus Christ at the end of the bar.

He looks to the bouncer. "Hey man is that Jesus?"

Bouncer says, "The one and only son of God himself."

He says, "Bartender, can you send a drink to Jesus on me please?"

Jesus takes his drink, nods and goes back to his business.

Asian guy walks in. He notices Jesus sitting there. He says to the bouncer "Herro, is that Jesus?"

Bouncer says, "Yep. Our divine savior."

Asian guy says "Aww, buy dlink for heem prease"

Jesus looks, nods, and goes back to drinking.

Black man comes limping in. He see's Jesus. He say's "Oh shit son, that nigga right there be Jesus!"

He looks over at the bartender and buys Jesus a drink.

Jesus approaches the 3 men and thanks them for the gracious offer.

"In return for your genorisity I'd like to heal your ailments."

The white guy complains about a linger shoulder problem. Jesus touches his shoulder, pain gone.

Amazed, the Asian man complains about his bad tennis elbow. Jesus touches his elbow, pain gone.

Jesus noticed the black man walk in with a limp so he reaches for his leg to touch him. The black man excitedly jumps back and avoids Jesus and says "Yo watch out man I'm on disability"

That one was pretty funny.

LOL

"Oh shit son, that nigga right there be Jesus!"

For whatever reason that line reminds me of the Chappelle Show with Wayne Brady where he guns the guy down outside the club.

Slovotzky's law #15
any story starting with "This is really funny" (or similar) never is

is wayne brady going to have to choke a bitch?

Difference between a sea story and a fairy tale?

A fairy tale starts "Once Upon a time..."

A sea story begins "And this is no shit man"

read entire thread, still haven't laughed, going back to sleep now

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a beautiful, big-breasted nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis. They were told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude model danced in front of them would not be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest.

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell...

Then all the other bells started to ring.

Now THAT's funny

The bell one and the Jesus one were both pretty good.

A fat black lady walks into a welfare office with her 12 kids. She gets in line and all 12 kids are running around causing chaos. She yells out "SIT DOWN LEROY!" All 12 kids sit and stay quiet. The welfare clerk is looking on like, "wtf?". She finally gets to the beginning of the line and gets her check. She calls out to the kids "Leroy! Get up and let's go!" The kids all get up and file in near her. The welfare guy stops her and asks, "Excuse me? Did you name all your kids Leroy?" She says, "Yeah I did. Why?" He says, "Oh, I just thought that was weird. Why would you do that?" She responds, "Well when you have 12 kids and you need to get all their attention it's easy to just call out 1 name." He then asks, "What do you do when you want to talk to them individually?" She says, "Oh, that's easy. I just call em by their last name."

Jay wrote:A fat black lady walks into a welfare office with her 12 kids. She gets in line and all 12 kids are running around causing chaos. She yells out "SIT DOWN LEROY!" All 12 kids sit and stay quiet. The welfare clerk is looking on like, "wtf?". She finally gets to the beginning of the line and gets her check. She calls out to the kids "Leroy! Get up and let's go!" The kids all get up and file in near her. The welfare guy stops her and asks, "Excuse me? Did you name all your kids Leroy?" She says, "Yeah I did. Why?" He says, "Oh, I just thought that was weird. Why would you do that?" She responds, "Well when you have 12 kids and you need to get all their attention it's easy to just call out 1 name." He then asks, "What do you do when you want to talk to them individually?" She says, "Oh, that's easy. I just call em by their last name."

I almost feel guilty about laughing at that one!