namelesstavern.net

varmints are amazing creatures with great strategic military importance.

brinstar wrote:

liquidstayce wrote:Maybe you can get a ferret army trained to rule the world?

<center>[font=impact]AMERICA!!!

FUCK YEAH!!!![/font]</center>

i just wanted to make sure this was on page two

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

ralfmacchio wrote:MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

You caught him and now you only have 9 fingers?

Was it a real raccoon? In the wild?

*ducks away from the inevitable beating from Diabolik and reminds him that there was no way in fuck I could let this opportunity lie.*

Die, bitch!

Diabolik wrote:Die, bitch!

hahahahahaha aren't I clever and witty and funny??? I called my girlfriend a bitch hee hee ho ho ha ha

Ralf, you and ferrets would make a good zombie slaying team! You could train them and put laser beams on their back or something

afk, nother zombie coming through the kitchen

Ferrets are illegal to own in California.

I bet my piranha could beat a ferret up

OMG Brin, can you make that into an avatar for me? (complete with the America, Fuck Yeah! text!) I love my ferrets, and that is just too priceless to pass up.

at this size the poor ferret looks like a puppet...

Mindia wrote:

ralfmacchio wrote:MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

You caught him and now you only have 9 fingers?

yah I threw a tarp over him and held him down with it. His head was poking out and he was PISSED! After attaching the shoulder mounted rocket pack and laser I threw him into the neighbors yard to exact my vengeance!

Aryylas wrote:

that sloth is ready for battle... can't you see it in his eyes?!

Sloths are Nature's Quad Laser~

as far as racoons are concerned they do make good pets however they have to be caught when they are young
My father had one for about 4 years when he was young. Here is some fun things you might need to know about.

1. Racoons have a tendecny to wash the food they eat. Problem is they have a tendency to use your toilet. Make sure before you sit down to check the bowl. Nothing like sitting down on the shitter and haing something carress your anus with a 1 inch long claw.

2. Racoons are very teritorial. They will find a room to call home and this is the house that Rocky racoon built. My dad's racoon took up residence in the garage. Upon entering the garage said racoon will stick his paw down from the rafters for 'toll' I suggest you give it to him. Most times a cookie or hot dog etc will suffice.

3. They are thieves. My dad mentioned the time he was changing the hubs on his car. These are the small cirlualr ones not much bigger than a soup bowl. It took him weeks to find the hub caps. They will steal anything and everything not nailed down. Much like the gangs in the place I grew up at.

4. They love to torment animals. Dad mentions the racoon he had jumping onto the back of his great dane. This can be lots of fun to watch esp once the racoon manages to grab ahold of his collar. However the fun stops when the dog dies of a heart attack.

5. They can manipulate alot of tools and objects for thier own deivses. one such was the bag of sout my grandmother put out. i.e. peanut butter bird seed lard mixed in a bag and hung for tweety to eat. My dad's racoon thought it was his own personal bag of granola mix. Every night he would traipse out haul the bag up with a stick and open it...eat all of the stuff inside..close it and lower it back down. The stick was because the dew made the cord slippery so he would stand on the branch and pull the stick up with his front paws. this allowed for a pulley system to get the cord up.

6. keep sharp objects away from them the will find a high place to make a sorta nest. most times a garage...reference territory marker. The problem is if tolls are not paid they have a tendency to lob thigns from thier 'nest' at you. having a philps screw driver lobbed at your head might not be listed under the cool factor.

Why does such an animal need wolverine like claws?

climbing

If there were sloths in my neighborhood, I'd paint the tips of their claws red like a woman's fingernails. Take that!

Diekan wrote:climbing

WRONG CAPTAIN PLANET1
!

Sloths were genetically engineered by our shadow governement.... Their claws are obviously used for deboweling marked men and pakistani terrorists.

Ferrets are far more battle ready, bear witness to their intensive training:

Aryylas.... I need another ferret.... pronto! I miss Tempest when I look at all these baby ferret pictures.