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I could not make this one up...MP3 Breast implants...
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:26 am
by kaharthemad
this was posted in a tabloid, but the question remains...will it actually come to be?
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/13 ... t_implant/
Coming soon: the mp3 breast implant
BT bod moots musical mams
By Lester Haines
Published Thursday 13th October 2005 10:46 GMT
Get breaking Reg news straight to your desktop - click here to find out how
Here's an appealing thought: an mp3 breast implant which will allow surgically-enhanced girls to store and play back their entire music collections from their 36DD assets.
We kid you not. According to UK tabloid the Sun - ever watchful for life-enhancing technology, especially when it's got a big jubs angle - BT Laboratories bod Ian Pearson reckons breast implants may as well do something useful if they're to be permanently installed, rather than just looking decorative.
Accordingly, he's proposed sticking an mp3 player in one dug, and a storage chip in the other. Quite how playback is achieved we're not quite sure*, but it may well involve the listener burying his or her head in the cleavage for a full stereo effect.
Likewise, God alone knows how you select tracks, but breasts do come equipped with a pleasing alternative to the iPod's selector wheel. We can imagine the scenario: Girlfriend: "Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Boyfriend: "Hold on, I'm just scrolling down to Stairway to Heaven." ®
Bootnote
*Oh, OK then - Ian Pearson said "flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist". We prefer our solutions, naturally.
Gotta love tech.
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:44 am
by Trielelvan
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:47 am
by kaharthemad
if any of you women get this...make sure to send pictures
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:01 am
by Trielelvan
As per the "Good Housewife" model:
- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Quite how playback is achieved we're not quite sure*, but it may well involve the listener burying his or her head in the cleavage for a full stereo effect.
I'd say that carries a motion towards being "interesting" enough
(note: yes I saw the asterik you fuckin nazis - I'm ignoring it. It's not nearly as much to visualize.)
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:03 am
by kaharthemad
so you gonna get a set? I wanna see where the headphones jack into.
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:05 am
by Tikker
You can tell I'm a geek cause my initial reaction was not "hohohoho, boobies for earphones" but rather "how the fuck will you change the batteries"
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:30 am
by 10sun
Tikker wrote:You can tell I'm a geek cause my initial reaction was not "hohohoho, boobies for earphones" but rather "how the fuck will you change the batteries"
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:30 am
by Trielelvan
LOL Tikker!
kaharthemad wrote:so you gonna get a set?
I dunno.. the idea defintely has merit. Sex would be interesting to say the least - I mean, one wrong nibble, and suddenly we'd be rockin in time to Winger or some other shit he has programmed in there.
kaharthemad wrote:I wanna see where the headphones jack into.
Me too. Mart?
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:10 am
by kaharthemad
Martrae is afk for a bit. she will be back tomarrow...the antichrist and the moron...err inlaws picked her up for the night.
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:15 am
by kaharthemad
BTW what would Plug and Play bring that up as?
Left Nipple found. Installing Drivers..
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:32 am
by xaoshaen
10sun wrote:Tikker wrote:You can tell I'm a geek cause my initial reaction was not "hohohoho, boobies for earphones" but rather "how the fuck will you change the batteries"
Given that you're enhancing the cup size, you could use a kinetic charger. To recharge batteries:
1) Remove brassiere
2) Employ trampoline
Really, who wouldn't be in favor of this?
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:34 am
by 10sun
Remember the Strogg from Quake 2? They were the results of mp3 breast implants gone bad.
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:41 am
by Tikker
xaoshaen wrote:10sun wrote:Tikker wrote:You can tell I'm a geek cause my initial reaction was not "hohohoho, boobies for earphones" but rather "how the fuck will you change the batteries"
Given that you're enhancing the cup size, you could use a kinetic charger. To recharge batteries:
1) Remove brassiere
2) Employ trampoline
Really, who wouldn't be in favor of this?
hrm
I'd sell my services as a boobie jiggler to help the poor unfortunate hot chicks get their mp3 players charged up again
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:44 am
by Trielelvan
kaharthemad wrote:BTW what would Plug and Play bring that up as?
Left Nipple found. Installing Drivers..
Speaking of Quake...
Released today
And I can't wait to get my hands on it.
Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:14 pm
by 10sun
I have my copy waiting for me to get off work(was half tempted to leave in the middle of the day to go get it).
-Adam
