namelesstavern.net

I laughed so hard I have to share this with you all.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051104/ap_ ... NlYwM5NjQ-


GREENSBURG, Pa. - A man claims his ex-girlfriend owes him more than $30,000 for gluing his genitals to his abdomen five years ago. "This was not just some petty domestic squabble," attorney Grey Pratt told a Westmoreland County jury Wednesday.


His client, Kenneth Slaby of Pittsburgh, is suing Gail O'Toole of Murrysville. His lawsuit claims the two broke up in 1999 after dating for 10 months and Slaby began dating someone else.

Slaby contends that O'Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep. He woke up to find that O'Toole had used Super Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.

Slaby said O'Toole told him it was payback for their breakup, and he had to walk a mile to a gas station to call for help. He pressed charges and O'Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and served six months' probation.

O'Toole's attorney, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act and Slaby wasn't permanently damaged.

"This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom," he said.

O'Toole's attorney, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act and Slaby wasn't permanently damaged.

How in the hell is gluing one's genitals to his stomach a consensual act?

Wow...his stomache...

Upon thinking about this I would just like to know how a woman could forcibly do the above to a man. I know calling it consentual sounds like an odd defense, but I do not think any man alive would sit still and let his ass and weener get glued by force, let alone hold still long enough for someone to write profanity on your back with nail polish afterwards.

The thought that he might have been asleep comes up, but I think a guy would wake up during that shit, not to mention once you get rolled over and you feel a brush on your ass.....

The story I read about this mentioned that she drugged him with roofies in order to glue him

Slaby contends that O'Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep. He woke up to find that O'Toole had used Super Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.

It could happen to me =/ I sleep like the dead.

Now, you're telling me if some dude went to his ex girlfriend's, and glued her tits to her chin, and her meat grinder shut, he'd get 6 months probation? If so pass me what it is you be smokin.

glued her tits to her chin

AdivinaDarkfyre wrote:The thought that he might have been asleep comes up, but I think a guy would wake up during that shit, not to mention once you get rolled over and you feel a brush on your ass.....

I think it's probably entirely possible depending on how heavy you sleep and especially if he was sleeping on his side. Not much pressure would have to be applied to get skin to glue together... and frankly I think the situation would be a lot more painful if there were only contact points instead of a solid cementing job, sorta along the same lines as the difference between getting pinched where someone pinches a sizable mass of skin vs a tiny amount.

LOL "O'Toole"

She'd be found in a bodybag within the year.

Why are you in jail?

"Bitch glued my dick to my stomach in my sleep, so I cut her fucking head off with an ice cream scooper"

Minrott wrote:

Slaby contends that O'Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep. He woke up to find that O'Toole had used Super Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.

It could happen to me =/ I sleep like the dead.

Now, you're telling me if some dude went to his ex girlfriend's, and glued her tits to her chin, and her meat grinder shut, he'd get 6 months probation? If so pass me what it is you be smokin.

I was holding a fart, then I read this, then I started laughing really hard, then I released my fart and farted on my roomate, then I started laughing harder. Good times.