namelesstavern.net

hold me

When I was young and just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did.
Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun.
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,
I'd find a pussy-cat and bash in it's head.
That's when my momma said...
(What did she say?)
She said my boy I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay...

You'll be a dentist.
You have a talent for causing things pain!
Son, be a dentist.
People will pay you to be inhumane!

You're temperment's wrong for the priesthood,
And teaching would suit you still less.
Son, be a dentist.
You'll be a success.

"Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque."
"Watch him suck up that gas. Oh My God!"
"He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good."
"Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis DeSade?"

"Oh, that hurts! Wait! I'm not numb!"
"Eh, Shut Up! Open Wide! Here I Come!"

I am your dentist.
And I enjoy the career that I picked.
I'm your dentist.
And I get off on the pain I inflict!

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid.
It's swell, though then tell me I'm mal-adjusted.

And though it may cause my patients distress.
Somewhere...Somewhere in heaven above me...
I know...I know that my momma's proud of me.
"Oh, Momma..."

'Cause I'm a dentist...
And a success!

"Say ahh..."
"Say AHhhh..."
"Say AAARRRHHHH!!!"
"Now Spit

i used to be really freaked by the dentist until my wife started working for this super snooty one in a rich area of Houston, it was amazing the difference in quality and care from the ghetto bucket dentists i had gone to when i was single and really poor....

always lots of painkiller..... nice...

and free cookies, fresh baked in the break room, they did that so the office didn't have that scary dentist office smell

boybutter wrote:and free cookies, fresh baked in the break room, they did that so the office didn't have that scary dentist office smell

No, they did that so you will have more cavities.

I go every 3 months just because I can. My insurance covers 4 cleanings a year so I take advantage of it.

If you take care of your teeth the dentist is nothing to worry about. They just poke around a little, scrape some crap off a few teeth then send you on your merry way.

Minrott wrote:hold me

Go with Gold. Platinum is total corporate hip hop bullshit. Real gangstaz pimp the gold.

heh yeah nothing to worry about. When I was a kid the rotten cocksheath of a dentist I had would routinely drill without waiting for the novicane(sp) to set in, he pulled 2 of my baby teeth when they wouldn't come out with no novicane. Of course my parents never believed me, so down the road when I was like 17 he tried to do the same shit and I nearly cockslapped him in the face, and walked out.

Now whenever I sit in that chair I get so fucking anxious and wiley that I almost flip out for the most benine painless things. =\

But my new dentist does "conscious" sedation dentistry, so maybe it'll all be better from here.

Honestly if I could afford to have those implants they screw into your jaw I'd have all my teeth yanked and those put in so I never had to worry about anything but a cleaning again.

Minrott wrote:Honestly if I could afford to have those implants they screw into your jaw I'd have all my teeth yanked and those put in so I never had to worry about anything but a cleaning again.

k, I need to google this. Never heard of it. Do you end up looking like Jaws from Moonraker?

No, they can cast your original teeth and make exact replicas. A full mouth ranges from 10k to 80k. They screw them to your jaw with titanium fasteners, just like how a surgeon would put pins or screws into a broken bone.

They look real and are almost zero maintenance from what I've read.

Minrott wrote: A full mouth ranges from 10k to 80k.
They screw them to your jaw with titanium fasteners, just like how a surgeon would put pins or screws into a broken bone.

The first sentence scares the shit out of me..

The whole pins thing...dont know I have been there done that. I think Ill pass.

no maintenance?

maybe I will have my buddy do an American History X on me, i can wrap my teeth around the curb and let him give me a good stomp, and then whamo, no brushing!!!!! EVER!!!!!!

heh you still have to brush man. It's not like dentures. You have to worry about gingivitus and gum disease, and they still collect plaque. But they don't rot. No cavities ever. Go ahead son, swish the coke around your mouth!

I had an evil dentist as well. When I was younger, I got several cavities in my back molars. He did the ol' drill n' fill without giving me any novicane what so ever. I even got a nice little sandblasting with no novicane too <3

Minrott wrote:heh you still have to brush man. It's not like dentures. You have to worry about gingivitus and gum disease, and they still collect plaque. But they don't rot. No cavities ever. Go ahead son, swish the coke around your mouth!

I have one post in my jaw from where a tooth never grew in after my baby teeth fell out. It hurt like hell and I had to have a bone graft to get it put into place.

They are nice... but it cost $5k for just one and was a 2 year process.

Well my dentist quoted me today on permanent implants being $3k a piece for molars. I've got two molars that possibly need root canals. My other option is to pull them and have implants.

what the hell is wrong with you? Did you brush your teeth with Aunt Jemima's maple syrup instead of toothpaste?

Did you brush your teeth with Aunt Jemima's maple syrup

captain_insano wrote:what the hell is wrong with you? Did you brush your teeth with Aunt Jemima's maple syrup instead of toothpaste?

Haha no shit....

I brush and floss like I should and I have NEVER had a cavity let alone have to experience anything worse than a vigorous cleaning..

Uugh

Yeah, that sounds nasty. It was bad enough when I had to get a crown put in.

Incidentally its Tikker's fault that I had to get a crown.

No I just didn't get my wisdom teeth out when I should have, and cavities started between them and the molars next to them, and being scared of the dentist, I let them go until this point.