I need an outsiders advice!
Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:22 am
I have been friends with this girl for several years. We've always been very close friends. The entire time we knew each other she has been in a relationship that recently ended (not engaged or married). After she broke up with her boyfriend she ended up moving in with me as I have an extra bedroom.
I've had feelings for this girl for quite some time now, but I never intended for anything to happen because I've always been afraid of what might happen to our friendship. She's my closest friend. There's no one that understands me or trust me more and vice versa. She's now been living with me for a month and a half, which is how long she has been single since her last relationship. Over this period of time my feelings have really escalated. Over time we've been more and more physical with each other. Very recently we've become very physical (not sex but pretty close). Both of us have been avoiding having sex as we're both very attracted to each other. I know that I feel much more for her than she does for me, but she also has feelings for me. I knew that, and she's also told me that.
I know that she needs time. She just called me from work because she needed to talk about what happened between us this morning (we were more physical than ever before). The thing is that both of us agree that it has been awesome. I want to continue as we have been. Talking to her on the phone she said that she's getting emotionaly attatched to me, and even more so now that we've become physical. She says that she's not ready to get emotionaly involved with someone. I completely understand this, but it's very hard for me.
She talked to me about the consequences of what might happen - of how both of us could get hurt. I know that she's very scared to lose me as a friend. The thing is that I know that we could be so great together. I can't even imagine how great it could be. I told her that I'm ok with giving her time, which she already knows. I told her that what I'm worried most about is that she's always going to be thinking of the negative aspects of what might happen if we get involved with each other in this way. I'm willing to risk everything to give us a chance. I realize how bad it could be if things went bad, but I'm willing to risk that. I feel that if we never give it a chance that we'll never know and most likely will regret never knowing our entire lives. I want more than to just be friends with her. I'm so worried that she's never going to give it a chance because of what might happen if things go bad, and I told her that. I asked her to do one thing for me: to think of how good it could be instead of how bad it could turn out.
I've never fealt like this before. I have no idea what to do. Giving up on us is not an option. I have no idea what to tell her or what to say. I feel that giving her to much time might drive us apart. So please... any advice.. any at all .. I would greatly appreciate it... I know many of you are much more experienced than myself in this area.
Please remember that my intentions are to be with her - not to give up on us being together. I love her so much.
I've had feelings for this girl for quite some time now, but I never intended for anything to happen because I've always been afraid of what might happen to our friendship. She's my closest friend. There's no one that understands me or trust me more and vice versa. She's now been living with me for a month and a half, which is how long she has been single since her last relationship. Over this period of time my feelings have really escalated. Over time we've been more and more physical with each other. Very recently we've become very physical (not sex but pretty close). Both of us have been avoiding having sex as we're both very attracted to each other. I know that I feel much more for her than she does for me, but she also has feelings for me. I knew that, and she's also told me that.
I know that she needs time. She just called me from work because she needed to talk about what happened between us this morning (we were more physical than ever before). The thing is that both of us agree that it has been awesome. I want to continue as we have been. Talking to her on the phone she said that she's getting emotionaly attatched to me, and even more so now that we've become physical. She says that she's not ready to get emotionaly involved with someone. I completely understand this, but it's very hard for me.
She talked to me about the consequences of what might happen - of how both of us could get hurt. I know that she's very scared to lose me as a friend. The thing is that I know that we could be so great together. I can't even imagine how great it could be. I told her that I'm ok with giving her time, which she already knows. I told her that what I'm worried most about is that she's always going to be thinking of the negative aspects of what might happen if we get involved with each other in this way. I'm willing to risk everything to give us a chance. I realize how bad it could be if things went bad, but I'm willing to risk that. I feel that if we never give it a chance that we'll never know and most likely will regret never knowing our entire lives. I want more than to just be friends with her. I'm so worried that she's never going to give it a chance because of what might happen if things go bad, and I told her that. I asked her to do one thing for me: to think of how good it could be instead of how bad it could turn out.
I've never fealt like this before. I have no idea what to do. Giving up on us is not an option. I have no idea what to tell her or what to say. I feel that giving her to much time might drive us apart. So please... any advice.. any at all .. I would greatly appreciate it... I know many of you are much more experienced than myself in this area.
Please remember that my intentions are to be with her - not to give up on us being together. I love her so much.
