namelesstavern.net

Today I have run into every major issue on phone support you can imagine. Below are a few general rules to keep in mind when dealing with phone support. Some of this may seem ridicules and some is common sense. If some of our customers had followed this, they would have had a much better day.

1. Your not that important, get that out of your head right now. Your account is not keeping their company alive. They don’t NEED you.
2. At some point, you’re going to run into a new tech that is going to screw up. It sucks but it’s going to happen, deal with it and move on.
3. Threatening legal action is the fastest way to get hung up on, most techs are told to tell customers that on any threat of legal action to direct the customer to have his lawyer contact their legal department and hang up.
4. Don’t yell or curse. While it may make you feel good, it really does not help.
5. Remember that even the lowest level tech’s can make your life miserable if you treat them like shit.
6. Having your account reflect that you are a hostile customer is a BAD thing because it will reflect the quality of support you receive for everything and you will find you are much less likely to receive refunds even when you really deserve it.
7. Remember that in many companies, first level phone techs are reading off a script and really get flustered if you take them off of it. This may piss you off, but just remember that this tech is probably getting paid shit and really doesn’t make enough to put up with angry customers.
8. In general, when you treat your tech professionally and with respect, they will be far more likely to assist you and get your issue resolved quicker.

I can tell you from experience. If you treat a tech like shit, the quality of work that will be done will also be shit. You may think you have won when you get off the phone, but I assure you, you have not. My company gives a very large amount of power to its tech’s. I assure you, if you treat our techs like shit, it comes back to haunt you latter. You may have some small issue that we can fix in 10 seconds that you will have to pay us $150/hr to fix (min of 1 hour) where if you been respectful in the past, it would have been done for free. It’s incredible how many little fees’ can be waved by just acting in a professional manner on the phone.

9.) It is you who called for help if you know better then the tech, why did you even call?

10. When you get instructions from the tech on what to do...DO IT. Dont question him/her about it. Remeber your the person that called.

11. If using a program to repair your computer such as a remote connect(vnc) dont move the mouse for the tech. He has been doing computer work longer then you and most assuredly knows how to operate the mouse.

This of course is disregarding outsourced support where they're a bunch of fucking retards.

Hmm let’s add a few more based on my day.


12 Don’t get pissed at the techs when they make you jump through hoops to verify you own the account. They are doing this for your benefit, not for the fun of it.

13 Don’t lie to the tech about what you have and have not done. 99% of the time, they will know and when you lie, they will be much less likely to help you.

14 Listed to what the tech says. Nothing pisses off a tech like having to repeat the same damn thing over and over because the caller wasn’t paying attention.

15 DON’T PUT THE TECH ON HOLD. They may put you on hold to look something up, but the second you put them on hold, you should expect to be hung up on. You are calling them, they did not call you.

16 Don’t hang up on one tech and call back to get a different tech. You can be damn sure the other tech will find out shortly.

17 If your going to call in and insist on saying “The last tech I spoke with said …â€

I wish I got to talk to techs like you Gidan, I've never called a support line and not gotten someone from India that spoke too quickly and too jumbled for me to understand.

Thats assuming you're not from India... shit.

Dear techs,

Please be aware that the people calling you are fucking clueless...if they weren't they wouldn't be calling. That is all.

SIGH..another topic i cant be involved in

#19
Quiet, you like it when you have conversations with the customers.

Martrae wrote:Dear techs,

Please be aware that the people calling you are fucking clueless...if they weren't they wouldn't be calling. That is all.

That's not true all the time, in the last 3 months I've had 7 tech's out to my house, to fix a problem on their end. Each time I told them it wasn't a problem on my end. Their was a bad part out on the node on the telephone poll leading to my house. Most of the phone guys were very nice and I allways try to be nice to them. But I had one guy who was a compleat and utter fuckbag, Yeah if I was a tech I'd assmume most people are fucking clueless but when I give my account info (gladly don't have a problem w/ verification) and immidatly ask for a supervisor, because I know that said tech will not be able to really help me. I don't want them to try to troubble shoot my shit themself, and flat out tell me I don't know what I'm doing.

#20 Call the techs as the last possible measure since they are all pimply faced geeks who would like nothing better than to make you feel stupid so they can vindicate there Mountain Dew enriched life.

#21 when complaining about the lack of ability of the tech to speak english, please realise they are actually speaking better english then you are

dammuzis wrote:#21 when complaining about the lack of ability of the tech to speak english, please realise they are actually speaking better english then you are

Uhh... what?

Dylan wrote:

dammuzis wrote:#21 when complaining about the lack of ability of the tech to speak english, please realise they are actually speaking better english then you are

Uhh... what?

Reminds me of a poor girl who parents moved here from England, she was placed in remedial English because she didn't speak what they considered “proper Englishâ€

Oh okay.

That makes no sense but ok.