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So my son got his first REAL report card. It's not like the ones in kindergarten which gave all S's and N's. THis one has actual number grades. My son got all A's and 1 B. He got an 88 in spelling. He failed one of his tests. I blame my brother. I worked all nights that week and couldn't go over the words with him that week. My brother won't do it either. Anyway, I'm proud of him.

So I tell my boyfriend who tells me I should spank him for getting all A's and actually got pissed when I told him I was giving him monetary rewards for the A's. He thinks he should get nothing because of the B. Boy, can I pick the winners or what?

He wants you to spank you son for getting As and then take away his A money, too? I'm confused....

Time to move back in with taxx

If it wasn't apparent that you were making a mistake before, I hope it is now Kiz.

Might I interest you in our line of disciplinary staplers?

That was amusing.

my allowance was based on grades. if i got strait As i got an allowance, anything less than an A meant nothing. good incentive to get good grades. of course if i got anything less than a B god help me.

It's funny how kids are bribed today. (I'm guilty of it too.) Back in the day my parents didn't have to bribe us to to get good grades. If we didn't, shit was taken away, never bought in the first place, or an asswhipping took place.

He said I shouldnt reward him because he didnt get straight A's. Sorry about the confusion there.

I didn't bribe him with anything. I rewarded him. A bribe would mean that I told him beforehand that I would give him a dollar for every A. I did not. WHen I got his report card, I gave him a dollar for every A.

Yeah, I wasn't paid or rewarded for my good grades either. It was just *expected.*

Lang rewards for both good behavior & good grades. I think that's ridiculous, but he calls it positive reinforcement, so whatever.

I draw a correlation between school/work life and home life.

You will be cleaning your house your entire life. Why pay your child to do it now (give them an allowance for chores) when they won't be when they're an adult?

School on the other hand relates to work. If they work hard at school they get rewarded just like they would in a workplace. You work hard at your job, you get bonuses, raises, etc. You work hard at school you get spending cash, extra goodies, special outings....whatever you come up with.

Martrae wrote:I draw a correlation between school/work life and home life.

You will be cleaning your house your entire life. Why pay your child to do it now (give them an allowance for chores) when they won't be when they're an adult?

School on the other hand relates to work. If they work hard at school they get rewarded just like they would in a workplace. You work hard at your job, you get bonuses, raises, etc. You work hard at school you get spending cash, extra goodies, special outings....whatever you come up with.

I give my son a daily allowance. If he is good at school and gets a green apple, he gets 50 cents for allowance for that day. He is also expected to keep his room clean. He receives his allowance in full every other Friday. Then we sit and decide what he wants to spend it on. He is pretty good at saving his money. He wants to buy a certain game for his DS, he knows its $35. I won't pitch for it because I don't feel he is responsible. For instance, now he has to wait on the game because he lost his power cord and the game is dead. He also has 7 games but can only find 3. He isnt responsible enogh to keep track of those, he has to pay to replace the power cord with his own money.

His only chores are keeping his room clean, and feeding the dogs. So I don't give him an allowance for that. When he is a bit older and can be responsible enough to do other chores, we will talk about a raise in his allowance then. I think it teaches them responsibility. Just my opinion.

Yeah, we have a chore system implemented for Lang's daughter too.

She has certain chores that she is expected to do if the situation allows it (ie: if we go out to eat, obviously she's not expected to set & clear the table). These chores are assigned a colored star. We have a little white board that she keeps track of her stars on. She feeds the dogs & fish, and draws a blue star on the appropriate day, etc. Black stars are for special out-of-the-ordinary chores, like giving the dog a bath. She also gets dots (we ran out of unique star colors) for every 2 chapters of reading she does on her own. Each of these stars & dots is worth a quarter. Langston also awards her 1 star for every day she gets the good behavior mark at school at the end of the month. So if she misses one day, she blows those stars for the entire month. She has a goal number of stars to reach at the end of the month (typically about 5 stars for each day she's with us) and if she reaches that goal, she gets to pick a restaurant we go eat at. Her allowance is based on the stars, too. Like I mentioned, each star is worth a quarter. Her allowance usually ends up being between $14 and $18 for the month, which gets stuck in her piggy bank.

Additionally, the total number of stars gets drawn on a wall chart with prizes at different levels that we assign when we draw up the chart. At the end of each month, we add the month's total of stars to the chart. 50 stars gets her a book, movie, or video game. 100 is a prize of her choosing (usually like a trip to Build-a-bear). At 150 and every 100 stars thereafter, is another book, movie, or video game. On the 100 levels (100, 200, 300, 400, 500) are the larger prizes. In the past these have included a trip to 6 Flags, a $25 "shopping spree", dinner at Medieval Times, and a horseback riding trip. It works out that she earns one of these prizes about once every other month, or occasionally she'll hit the book/movie/game prize along with a larger prize. It takes her about 8 or 9 months to work up to 500 stars.

The system seems to work pretty well. She's 8 now, and every so often we examine her chores and make them more age-appropriate (like now she gets 1 star for setting and clearing the table, where previously it was 1 star for each). She gets excited when she's close to her star levels, and when she has a goal in sight, she's good about reading extra chapters in her books, or helping out with special chores to earn more stars.


Martrae, I've never really thought about the rewards that way, but it makes sense. It still seems strange to me to reward for good behavior and grades, because, like I mentioned, when I was a kid it was just expected. But you are right that good performance at work earns you the monetary rewards as well.

The Kizzy wrote:I didn't bribe him with anything. I rewarded him. A bribe would mean that I told him beforehand that I would give him a dollar for every A. I did not. WHen I got his report card, I gave him a dollar for every A.

So after the first time he knew beforehand.

Ouchyfish wrote:

The Kizzy wrote:I didn't bribe him with anything. I rewarded him. A bribe would mean that I told him beforehand that I would give him a dollar for every A. I did not. WHen I got his report card, I gave him a dollar for every A.

So after the first time he knew beforehand.

Yes, he knows in the future he has an incentive to do well in school.

whatever it takes to keep your kid motivated. do it.

my parents didn't give a crap how i did and i adopted the same attitude unfortuneately.

i finished high school knowing i needed to a couple years of community college to figure out how to study and stuff....

i eventually figured it out , and did undergrad and finished well in a competitive grad program, but it required those initial 2 years of school to get up to speed.

things worked out, but i will be a very different parent to my kids relative to education.....