namelesstavern.net

Do people ever grow up?

I'm quite sick of having to remove people from my life because they just end up being pretty bad friends after a while.

I mean it's really disheartening to think that this doesn't really end anytime soon, or ever.

I am just curious. Is there a rough estimate of a time when people stop being generally shit? lol

no it extends thru life. You have to find the people who arent fuck heads to begin with.

Yeah, I figured as much.

I've got a few keepers but the rest are generally just shit. I don't have the patience for anything anymore since I've begun improving my life on all fronts the past few months.

Something just snapped upstairs, I think. I don't put up with people's shit anymore.

I think you've just had a bad run, man. It seems you have a lot of pretty low-quality people around you. I mean I'm 25, so I'm still young, but some of the friends I have I've had since I was a tot. Perhaps living in a different area as them as we got older helped, but the problems you encounter with people aren't ones I've run into a whole lot, though I've run into a handful.

All people aren't the same; some are fantastic, but yes.. they're few and far between.

Honestly, I think when it's feasible, your area is just a bad fit for you.. it wouldn't hurt to have some change in your life if you were ever willing to move.

on a somewhat related note, whatever happened to adivina and what's-his-face? did they fall off the planet?

ya josh in all likelihood those assholes were ALWAYS assholes, you're just now realizing/admitting it

i think age/maturity (i know, not always the same thing) plays only a small part in the quality of a friend

leah wrote:on a somewhat related note, whatever happened to adivina and what's-his-face? did they fall off the planet?

I still see them semi-regularly but I don't really care for the direction Aryylas' life has taken *shrug*

Shit happens...

hrmm, well, fair enough. i was just curious b/c they used to be such regular posters and then just seemed to disappear. thought maybe they took their juggalo act on the road I KEED, I KEED

People also just grow up at different rates or even just change completely. They may have been a good fit with you before, but your views have slowly changed over time to make you and your friends incompatible. The key to a good life is truly the people you have around you.

i know I was about 23-24 when I completely walked away from everyone I'd grown up with

mostly just because I'd completely outgrown them

that being said, some people will eventually grow up, but some people will always just be that teenager that likes to sit in the basement with friends and smoke pot

I almost don't have a problem with those people.

It's the people that will look you in your eye and lie straight to your face while making a promise they are breaking as they are making it.

"I promise I am not, and would never do that man, you're my best friend and I know your other friends did that shit to you before."

Broke three of my cardinal rules, in one fucking breath...that's like some sort of record that I should write down or some shit. lol

...but at least I found out why that chick was so ambivalent about commitment. My best friend(well, now just some kid I knew)came along and saw the toy I had and wanted it. Then she decided he was apparently more fun, while hooking up with me and keeping me on the backburner emotionally.

I refuse to be someone's silver medal. It's all or nothing.

Owell, I'm surely in no rut as a result of all this. lol
I'll just have to stick to what I got left and see what I can salvage out of the circle.

I still talk to her, but I dropped her off the pegboard.

I put her on the slut level of respect after doing that to me, and treat her as such. It's actually pretty fun.

oh dear i'm sorry something like that happened to you, and it makes me both glad and sad for you that you weren't sexually active, glad because at least it won't hurt as bad and sad because i worry for you what it'll be like when you DO have sex with someone and get hurt, because it's 10x worse :\

anyway, try not to lash out too bad, and please PLEASE don't turn into a bitter ass on the level of diekan. some people are just trash, and you can't let that color your opinion of people you have yet to meet, ok?

Tikker wrote:i know I was about 23-24 when I completely walked away from everyone I'd grown up with

mostly just because I'd completely outgrown them

that being said, some people will eventually grow up, but some people will always just be that teenager that likes to sit in the basement with friends and smoke pot

Wow this is nearly the exact same thing with me, cept that pot part LOL.

All the friends I had in school I no longer associate with, after school they just never seemed to move on, take responsibility etc. It got to a point where I was the bail out guy for my friends, short on cash, talk to clakar, doing dinner (is clak going?), etc. It unfortunately had a lot to do with money , some if it had to do with ethics and morals, I had them, many of my friends did not, in fact I'd say I lost more friends because of ethical incompatibility than anything else.

leah wrote:oh dear i'm sorry something like that happened to you, and it makes me both glad and sad for you that you weren't sexually active, glad because at least it won't hurt as bad and sad because i worry for you what it'll be like when you DO have sex with someone and get hurt, because it's 10x worse :\

anyway, try not to lash out too bad, and please PLEASE don't turn into a bitter ass on the level of diekan. some people are just trash, and you can't let that color your opinion of people you have yet to meet, ok?

No, try as I might, I am incapable of being an asshole. Trust me, I wish I could lol

I'm not even that hurt, really. I keep myself pretty well guarded in that respect and I never fully let her in, because she never fully let me in either.

I just feel bad for the genuine women out there who are going to have to fight to get in past my defenses just because I don't trust anyone lol

She still has the balls to say it pisses her off when I don't tell her anything, and that it makes her feel like I don't trust her. lol

People always underestimate me lol

ClakarEQ wrote:I'd say I lost more friends because of ethical incompatibility than anything else.

EXACTLY

I am some kind of moral and ethical fucking genetic mistake. I sure as fuck don't have any positive role models, or examples, how the fuck did I end up like this? lol

Harrison wrote:No, try as I might, I am incapable of being an asshole. Trust me, I wish I could lol

Now I'm being an ass in saying it but I could find a few posts of you being an asshole to me ROFL.

It's all good tho, most of the time I'm asking for it , and words on a board are generally not respective to the real person typing them.

No, even the people I've met on FPS' communities are like "Wow, you are nothing like how I thought you'd be judging you from the boards and the server..."

You think I appear to be an asshole here? Lol
Look how I am to people in an FPS community that are miles below me. (except the handful left of the competitive community who make me look foolish at my best who post now and then)

I'm headed to Pennsylvania for 4th of July weekend to hang out with some Natural Selection players from 187combat.com

I'll probably end up making the trip to Chicago someday to hang out with the server owner and his crew as well.

My friends from high school went in one of two different directions. Either they became very successful in whatever field they chose to follow or they became self destructive drug addicts and are dead, dieing or are shells of their former selves, living life day to day and trying not to fall back in to destructive cycles.

I've only had to turn my back on two of them over the years. One was my best childhood friend. He became a hardcore heroin addict and started lieing, stealing etc and I had to turn my back on him. He took his own life less than a year later... I still think about him every day but I don't think there was anything I could do to stop him and having him around me when I was starting a family, etc was not an option. The other was my ex-gf. We were both wrapped up in cocaine pretty seriously when we were young and I saw the direction we were headed and put a stop to it on my end. She tried but was unable to and we ended up splitting up. We stayed in contact for a while but eventually she was so fucked up, there was no turning back. She died about 4 years later from an overdose.

In short... your 20's can be a harsh time. Keep yourself surrounded by positive people and influences and shut out the negative ones. The friends that you have that are going to self destruct will probably do it in their 20's. Be there for them when you can but protect yourself. Learn to be self sufficient and to lower your expectations of people that you think may be unstable.

So far, out of my closest of friends, I have MAYBE 3 left. Every two years or so I have to either remove them, or they remove themselves in some form. Addiction and my refusal to deal with it after a while, primarily lol

One lives so far away it's stupid to think of trying to visit him on my days off. (TX) Went to the army, got married, and had a daughter.

One lives in Boston and is working/going to school so much she has little money and time to come see me. (arguable lol) I see her maybe every 4-5 months, tops. I'd marry this woman if I could, seriously. She's about the only woman left alive I think is worth more than the shit I dump out daily to the toilet.

The other lives with me still.

Everyone else, after some time, just end up turning out to be shitbags. It's really disheartening and makes me lose faith in humanity a tiny bit each time, really lol

hmmm your excessive use of "lol" in all these posts makes me think that you are actually much sadder about it than you let on. :\

It's a bad habit.

I check back on my logs for AIM for phone numbers etc. and I notice it. I don't notice it while I am on a roll.

I almost use them like periods and opening lines to paragraphs.

I used to put horizontal ellipses EVERYWHERE. I've tamed that a bit, I think.

Edit: My next enemy? Commas and runon sentences...

I think I used to be pretty similar to how you are now, Harrison, but over the past couple years I've become a bit of an asshole, or just bitter, or apathetic/insensitive, or a mix of all that and more. Reading your little rant makes me wonder if I've unknowingly changed in order to protect myself emotionally.

As most have said, i think, you've got to just make that move mentally to be prepared to leave a friend/group of friends if they start being self-destructive or just worthless to themselves or you.

and there ends being a large divide between people who can move on with their life and those who are too afraid to do that. the prior often end up with some lonely times but finding really good friends, tha latter end up with the same knuckleheads till they die and don't move much forward in their lives as people.

I am a cynic of the worst kind, so my opinion is heavily biased.
Like most have said - no.
All throughout life, you will meet worthless excuses of humanity that will valiantly call themselves your "friends."
Everyone does. Just not everyone realizes who or what these "friends" are.
You're intelligent enough to know the difference. Be proud. Most don't.

I always found it funny that the majority of the losers I've known end up finding one another appealing somehow and quickly become close friends, then eventually come to me to talk shit about what a loser the other is.
/shakes head
Idiots.

Sort out your priorities.

Friends come and go. All you can control is your own direction and mood.