namelesstavern.net

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com

Just like what the name sounds like, really. A collection of often really drunk or embarassing texts. Some of them are absolutely hysterical.

Some samples:

(541):

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

(814):

My cha cha got a haircut
(724):

thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

(301):

she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is

(201):

You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

(706):

I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
(1-706):

I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

(703):

swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
(202):

buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

Enjoy. (and post some of your favorites.... heh)

-Arlos

(617):

i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
(508):

i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

Yeeaaah. There's a fucking ton of good shit on here, good find Arlos.

(917):

so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
(845):

Are you serious?
(917):

yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it..

you owe me a new keyboard.... do not drink when reading this website

heh i blissfully forget about that site every time i look at it, so whenever someone reminds me i get the fresh joy all over again

(585):

please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

ooooooowow.

From the samples I posted, I'm not sure I believe they're real. Not nearly enough "u," "ur," "2nite," and "wut" in those to possibly be real.

oh i dunno, my texts are generally in complete sentences with real words, unless i'm pushing the 160-character limit, in which case i'll go back and change you to u and whatnot. my friends are all the same way.

one time josh got a text from some chick asking "r u doing n e ting 2 nite" lol... she was instantly deleted from his phone for being a halfwit. (plus she was his friend's 16-year-old sister and thus should not be texting a 25-year-old anyway. kids these days!)

also:

(610):
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

HAHAHA

That oil can one is pretty good.

leah wrote:also:

(610):
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

HAHAHA

TOTALLY doing that from now on

brinstar wrote:

leah wrote:also:

(610):
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

HAHAHA

TOTALLY doing that from now on

right?? i seriously gigglesnorted when i read that one and made a mental note of it.

actually, reading a lot of these made me miss college

Found one I figured Leah would find particularly amusing:

(919):

Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

And my new favorite:

(404):

"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

-Arlos

LOL nice one!!

Omg I needed this
Thanks for sharing Arlos

haven't been to NT in forever ..hilarious link!