namelesstavern.net

I've found it's really hard to come up with a good definition for what a friend really is.

What do you consider friends to be? What is your definition of a true friend?

A friend is someone to count on...
no matter what the case.
A friend will open a door,
when no one wants you in the place.
A friend will hear your drama...
and comfort openly.
A friend is always there,
when all others cease to be.

I don't know. The more I deduct the clearer it gets though, I would say personally a friend is: someone you expect nothing from, and that expects nothing of you. At least empirically those seem to work out best, particularly on the grander scale.

I have managed to exile 3 of the 5 same people I've been hanging out with since High School within this last half a year. I can't quite sum it up in a half paragraph but they somehow clung onto me like ethical baggage. I dropped their bullshit and everything got a lot lighter.

Someone who will be there, good or bad.

Someone who cares enough to try and help when things are messed up, your fault or not.

Someone who doesn't demand anything, but by being a friend, you would give almost anything to help out if things are going wrong for them.

Most people I know only have 2-5 really close friends like this at any time. They are pretty hard to find, and you rarely, if ever, let them go their own way.

A friend is there for you in your time of need. A friend is someone you can trust, confide in, and is reliable. A true friend, however, will also hold you accountable.

Someone who will buy you lunch and won't expect you to buy it in return, but will rather know that you will buy them lunch eventually.

Not to be confused with fuck buddy or aquaintance.

-Adam

God wrote:I can't quite sum it up in a half paragraph but they somehow clung onto me like ethical baggage. I dropped their bullshit and everything got a lot lighter.

Ditto here.

There is a theory in psychology called the "Relationship Discrepancy Theory" which basically says that from our youth going into old age, the friendships we create and hold on to go from quantity-versus-quality, to quality-versus-quantity.

When we are younger, we have lots of friends in which the average friendship is mediocre at best, and we tend to be more tolerant of those that aren't up to par (e.g.: girl 2 sleeps with girl 1's boyfriend, girl 1 finds out, they fight, they don't talk for a month, then quite suddenly, the decide that friends are more important than intimate relations).
As we get older, we tend to have many fewer friends, but the quality of the friendships is much higher. (Same beginning in the above scenario, except that after girl 1 finds out, she kindly expains to both girl 2 and the boyfriend that neither is welcome as she can not trust them, so there is no point in continuing the friendships from any angle.)

No, it doesn't always hold true for everyone - I've seen as many ding-batted 40 year olds trying to hold on to someone because "she's my best friend" despite repeated "backstabbings." I've also seen a 12 year old mature enough to oust a friend from her life completely after catching said friend stealing something from her room. But, we are talking in general here.

Why do I bring this up? I think your question, Yamori, is a really interesting one. I am curious as to what the answers will be and how they will relate in accordance to that theory.

In a nutshell, a friend for me is someone that:

a) I can trust and vice versa
b) Can put up with me, and vice versa

Excluding the details, that's pretty much it.

Mindia wrote:A true friend, however, will also hold you accountable.

So very, very true. That has to do with the trust/honesty thing. I hate people that "beat around the bush." I like people that are direct and honest, specifically in dealing with me. If I've done something wrong, I expect to know what it was I did, and not have the other person sulking away for months without telling me, then resenting me for it. /punt

A friend is someone who will help you hide a dead body with no questions asked!

Yamori wrote:I've found it's really hard to come up with a good definition for what a friend really is.

What do you consider friends to be? What is your definition of a true friend?

ONE who won't front on your man... Z-SNAP

I always saw friendship like a bank account. You start off with zero and add to it. The more you add to it, the more you can take out of it. If you hurt someone and you have enough in the bank, it's cool. If not, it's not. Friendship over.

Doesn't work that way.

I think it's true that the older you get the less friends you have. Getting settled into a career and starting a family doesn't leave a lot of time for “hanging” or “going” out.

Most adults just don't have a lot of time for to many friends. I also think there is a difference in men and women when considering this topic. I think men tend to have less friends than women – even in adulthood.

I've got tons of acquaintances, but only a handful of people I would go as far as to consider “friends.”

Friends are people who'll be honest with you, people who will go the extra mile to help you out, people who will look out for you, and people who will stand up for you when you're not able to stand up for yourself.

Diekan wrote:I think it's true that the older you get the less friends you have. Getting settled into a career and starting a family doesn't leave a lot of time for “hanging” or “going” out.

Most adults just don't have a lot of time for to many friends. I also think there is a difference in men and women when considering this topic. I think men tend to have less friends than women – even in adulthood.

I've got tons of acquaintances, but only a handful of people I would go as far as to consider “friends.”

Friends are people who'll be honest with you, people who will go the extra mile to help you out, people who will look out for you, and people who will stand up for you when you're not able to stand up for yourself.

I would say your post is very accurate. I would expand on it and say that men do have fewer friends, BUT those friends are closer than those friends that women keep.

A true friend is like family.

I agree with my brother Alm!
/wink wink

a true friend is a sheltie - unconditional love, loyalty, caring, and trust


ok.. mop counts too

Almegest Victory wrote:A true friend is like family.

Man I hate my family. They drive me nuts.

lol we are all internet lozers wtf do we know about friends hah

Someone who is down to double team a 5 dollar hooker.

It seems to me that people put such an incredibly low standard on the word today. You just hang around someone and your friends. I think not.

For me its dependability with no or very little reguard to situation. I could write that better but I wont.

Jeddasbard wrote: I could write that better but I wont.

That's not very friendly.

Teddy Ruxpin.

Jimmy Durante wrote:Teddy Ruxpin.

lol

I just found my Teddy Ruxpin doll in my "memory box".

I want to buy some tapes off ebay and get that playa playin again.

depends on the friend. for me there are different degrees of friends. Friends are those that have seen you thru thick and thin still laugh at stupid shit you pulled when you were in high school, and would get your back in times of any crisis. They are people that can celebrate with you when you do something good and tell you when you just fucked up. They are also those people that when it gets right to it the world is not as liveable if they were not around.

Friends are family when it comes down to it. Blood ties only go so far.