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I appreciate it... but I get to be serious on average of 14 hours a day between work and my side businesses... I post here to have fun. I will be serious on a topic that is appropriately serious.... like zombie hunting threads

Really, the essence of zombie hunting is quite similar to the essence of hunting a living being. When hunting the living, weapon choice comes down to three things: Accuracy, power, and firepower. To that effect, those three qualifications are all desirable when hunting the dead.

However, this is where the parallel splits. When hunting a living being, say a bear, you want to choose a firearm that fires a large, deeply penetrating bullet with a structure that precipitates controlled expansion. Nosler Partitions are a good example of this. But a .338 Winchester Magnum shooting 220 grain Nosler Partitions will have no great advantage in disposing of a zombie over a normal autoloading rimless handgun round, say for example the 9mm Parabellum.

Why do you ask? Because the only way to properly terminate a zombie, is to put a hole in his (or her!) head. Now, while shooting a caliber as large and destructive as a .338 may be a confidence booster it is not a very practicle ZDF. (Zombie Defense Weapon) Over penetration, excessive recoil, hard to find ammunition, and the fact that you won't find many high capacity autoloading rifles chambered in such a caliber make the .338 and other hunting cartridges a poor choice for your ZDF.

Personally, in my ICOZA Bag (In Case of Zomebie Attack Bag) I've chosen three weapons that combine Accuracy and Firepower, without going over board in actual power(generated kinetic energy in foot lbs.)

1. 16" barrel AR15 carbine. Short, light, quick handling and accurate to ranges exceeding 300 meters. A fast shooter with an easy to procure ammunition caliber, and takes high capacity magazines (20, 30, and 40 round, with rare availability of 90 round drums).

2. 18" barreled Benneli M1 12 gauge shotgun. Also fairly short and lightweight, the shotgun is an essential to any zombie hunters ICOZA bag. Short range, but with a cylinder bore and the correct shot (#4) you can expect to take out 2 or 3 closely grouped zombies per shot. This ZDF really isn't so much for me, as it is for those less fortunate souls I meet up with during my travels who wish to join forces with me. Most people in the country today are not proficient with firearms, so an autoloading shotgun is the only choice when you don't have time to teach a large breasted blonde how to accurately dispense fire with a rifle.

3. Berretta 92F 9mm semiautomatic handgun. This is what I consider to be the perfect INCOZA handgun on the market today. Easy to shoot, light recoil, high capacity, and 140 grain FMJ's will put a hole in any zombies rotting forehead. Also, like the AR15, ammunition and magazines are very easy to come by.

In short, when you're gearing up for the imminent legions of zombies that will come to take your children away, plan your ZDF's accordingly. Lightweight, fast shooting, accurate enough for headshots, and high capacity.

Godspeed.

excellent post

oh god, i feel a few extensive ralf posts incoming, do you feel that too brin?

The AR15 is a very nice choice and the Benneli is a very reliable shot gun. Question: Incase you happen to run out of amunition due to the large breasted blonde becoming trigger happy do you happen to have a short sword, large knife or a chain saw in your ICOZA.

The AR15 is a very nice choice and the Benneli is a very reliable shot gun. Question: Incase you happen to run out of amunition due to the large breasted blonde becoming trigger happy do you happen to have a short sword, large knife or a chain saw in your ICOZA.

Gaazy wrote:oh god, i feel a few extensive ralf posts incoming, do you feel that too brin?

unfortunately yes, it is only a matter of time before he ejaculates his premature spattering of juvenility all over this fine thread

I am going to go get my INCOZA bag rady now. Thanks for he informative post!!!

My old roommate in Madison used to be obsessed with zombies. Any time we went anywhere he would make sure he was near the exits so in case everyone turned in to a zombie, he would have a clear path to safety.

Shit guys, the ONLY way to kill a zombie is with a chainsaw.

Don't you get it?

-Adam

AK-47 accept no substitutes

you mean i must cut off my hand to fight zombies?

If you wish to be proficient.

Aatrex wrote:If you wish to be proficient.

That made me LOL

Cybernetic enhancement even in a crude form such as a chainsaw-arm are the core of a true zombie hunter. Such technology is a must. Robotic physical enhancements are more fully integrated with the central nervous system, and so much more responsive and sensitive, than the more primitive bionic enhancements.

Don't believe what you see on TV. Only class 12a zombies are the slow plodding creatures that one would send a rookie hunter out after; child's play if you will.

Classes 1-Alpha thru 5C are fast, viscious, and often cunning. (it doesn't help that they prefer to travel in packs with other undead breathren)

To give yourself an edge cybernetic muscle implants, adrenal amplifiers, along with you average chainsaw, and other such rotary bladed weaponry are the norm these days.

Another topic that must be discussed in depth is crowd control....

I prefer the MK-19 Automatic Grenade Launcher attached to a solid all terrain vehicle. (don't make the rookie mistake of getting in a slow, immobile, highly armored vehicle. An average zombie can chew threw an inch of reinforced steel in less than a minute)

The MK19 Mod3 40mm Grenade Machine Gun was first developed by the ZHC.c12.sZ (Zombie Hunter Consortium Chapter 12, Section Zulu) in the early 1960's. TACOM-ARDEC has since suggested modifications to this system which has enabled the ZHC to deploy the MK19 in the harsh environments encountered during world-wide operations and has therefore enhanced its performance. The MK19 firing rate is over 350 grenades per minute and it is effective to ranges of over 2200 meters. The system was deployed in Southwest Asia during Operation Undead Fury in '79, and again during the Antarctic Uprising during '87 and devastated enemy infantry.

Obviously this is a crucial piece of weaponry that any zombie hunter should include in his/her
ICOZA-ATC bag. (In Case of Zombie Attack-All Terrain Combat bag)

Further specifications are below, and please note the cost. This highly effictive armament is great for even the budget consious undead perveyor of doom.

Manufacturer: UAE Defense Industries
(Undead Annihalition and Extermination Defense Industries)
Length: 43.1 inches (109.47 centimeters)
Weight:
Gun: 72.5 pounds (32.92 kilograms)
Cradle (MK64 Mod 5): 21.0 pounds (9.53 kilograms)
Tripod: 44.0 pounds (19.98 kilograms)
Total: 137.5 pounds (62.43 kilograms)
Muzzle velocity: 790 feet (240.69 meters) per second
Bore diameter: 40mm
Maximum range: 2200 meters
Maximum effective range: 1600 meters
Rates of fire:
Cyclic: 325-375 rounds per minute
Rapid: 60 rounds per minute
Sustained: 40 rounds per minute
Unit Replacement Cost: $13,758

In conclusion, when your outnumbered and outmanuevered the MK-19 will provide the perfect equalizer with superior firepower, cyclic rates of fire, and is a cost-effective solution to any zombie horde engagement.

I hope this can be valuable information to any of our clansmen.

The MK19 is the obvious choice for a vehicle mounted crew served weapon. You would be certain to equalize any confrontation or engagment with this on the roof of your hummvee.

However, again, I believe availability of ammunition comes into play here. Indeed, when the zombies attack, they will take the living and turn them into more zombies. This means less people in the factories making the ammuntion the ZLF (Zombie Liberation Force) needs to operate.

This is where the M51 Quad Mount .50 Browning comes into play.



With the large stockpiles of NATO .50 ammuntion already manufactured and deposited in caches around the worl, and the large availability of M1 Browning Machine Guns and their spare parts, I like to think of the Quad .50 as a "poor man's Thor's Hammer." Retrofitted to the back of a 2 1/2 ton truck, or similiar vehicular weapons platform, the motorized turret gives 360 degrees of horizontal range of fire and nearly 180 degress of Z axis travel.

At 600 rounds per minute from each barrel, a total of 2400 rpm, this is certainley a zombie devistating machine. In short, in the absence of the Mk19, don't think you've sold yourself short by procuring a Quad .50.

That's all well and good... IF you're fighting every day zombies, voodoo zombies, or genetically engineered zombies... But, what about toxic chemical zombies? They can only be killed by electrocution.

Besides... no need for so much violence. Zombies feed on brains... just disguise yourself like any given pop star and you're prefectly safe... no food for zombie... zombie go else where.

I thought you had to chop a zombies head off to kill it.

Naw... blunt force to the head will do it, for all of them sept toxic chemical zombies... blunt force could come in the form of a .45 slug easily tho.

People!

Anyone who's ever watched Buffy knows that the only way to kill a zombie effectively is to destroy the talisman controlling them!

Come on, now.

The point isn't to simply survive the imposing doom of the zombie legions Slainn. It is to suppress, destroy and defeat.

Also, it was asked if I would entertain the thought of a handheld bladed weapon in my ICOZA bag. The answer is of course! More than one in fact. Rather than the chainsaw, which is an extremely popular choice in the ZLF, I have gone the old fashioned route, for 1 simple reason. I don't like running out of gas with my last ditch defensive weapon.

So therefore, a khurki and tomahawk are at all times within my reach during zombie engagement.

Thanks to this wonderful and informative post I have survived three zombie attacks. Without the insight of our NT zombie gurus the world would be in peril.

Finally a post that's worth reading!

You bunch of racist, red-necked, cowboy fascists! Have you ever stopped to consider WHY the zombies want to kill us and eat our brains? It's our own fault! Our culture is an insult to them and their 9th century ways. It's our responsibility to apologize to them and make amends. Also, I'm sure we all know the real reason we kill zombies... It's so those right-wing vultures at Halliburton can make a buck.

Scoota McGee wrote:You bunch of racist, red-necked, cowboy fascists! Have you ever stopped to consider WHY the zombies want to kill us and eat our brains? It's our own fault! Our culture is an insult to them and their 9th century ways. It's our responsibility to apologize to them and make amends. Also, I'm sure we all know the real reason we kill zombies... It's so those right-wing vultures at Halliburton can make a buck.

Wrong. Halliburton made the virus that created the Zombies because business was slow and they were on the verge of having to cancel the "Zombie Containment and Incineration Facility" program.

Diekan wrote:That's all well and good... IF you're fighting every day zombies, voodoo zombies, or genetically engineered zombies... But, what about toxic chemical zombies? They can only be killed by electrocution.

Besides... no need for so much violence. Zombies feed on brains... just disguise yourself like any given pop star and you're prefectly safe... no food for zombie... zombie go else where.

The ZLF has tesla coil technology in the works. Unfortunately they are mounted on a semi trailer and manuverability is limited. We hope to works the kinks out of the system to produce smaller more man-pack size units. Currently we are up to a kill radius of only 45 meters, unacceptable by most standards, but a step in the right direction nonetheless.