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It was the earth all along!

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:31 pm
by Donnel
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002413830_monkeys01.html

Monday, August 1, 2005 - Page updated at 12:00 AM

Monkeys threaten San Juan

By Ray Quintanilla

TOA BAJA, Puerto Rico — When hordes of monkeys began invading Puerto Rico's agricultural fields, devastating crops and eluding capture, the major concern was trapping them before they reached urban areas, where they would pose a public health hazard and be nearly impossible to round up.

Fear is turning to outrage. Authorities recently acknowledged a clan of these pesky moneys, escapees from defunct medical-research laboratories along Puerto Rico's southern coast, has turned up just 20 minutes outside metropolitan San Juan — home to 1.5 million residents and a virtually unlimited number of hiding places.

"It would be very bad if these monkeys got to San Juan," said Jose Chalbert, director of Puerto Rico's Department of Natural Resources, an agency that recently proposed capturing the wild monkeys because they carry diseases.

"I don't even want to think about having to trap monkeys there," Chalbert said, adding that money for his $3 million effort to trap the monkeys is being held up amid all the fighting going on in the legislature.

Primates are not native to Puerto Rico. But the island has been home to a species of monkey dating back to the 1950s when scientists brought them here for medical experiments.

The animals — descendants of the patas and rhesus monkeys that escaped from medical-research labs — are known to be fertile and aggressive.

Mature monkeys can weigh up to 50 pounds, and it's estimated the monkey population in southeast Puerto Rico stands at between 1,000 and 2,000 — and it's growing every day.

No one knows how many primates live in and around Toa Baja, a small agricultural community just west of San Juan.

Elias Sanchez, a top assistant to Toa Baja's mayor, said the city is trying to address the problem. But the trapping and control of the population is beyond the scope of any local community.

"The island's government should be helping," he said, adding that the population of monkeys is "very small."

Residents insist dozens of them have taken up residence near Toa Baja's municipal dump. Inside the landfill they forage for food and then they explore nearby neighborhoods, frightening residents.

Emma Vasquez, who lives next to the landfill, said a baby monkey once jumped from a tree onto the roof of her house.

"At first we all thought it was cute," said Vasquez, 60. "Then it started tipping over all of my plants in the balcony and growling at me."

When she called police, authorities from the island's natural-resource department showed up wearing white body suits and masks to protect themselves. "That scared me even more," she said.

The monkey eventually was sedated and then removed from her roof.

In another incident, Wilberto Cerrano said he has seen about 15 monkeys as close as 200 yards from his home "swinging in the trees and running around, like they are happy as can be."

Cerrano said he doesn't think the animals will make their way into San Juan. "They don't like people. They keep their distance," Cerrano, 55, said.



Those damn dirty apes!

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:34 pm
by Zanchief
I blame Heston.

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:37 pm
by Tuggan
fuck no, if he had his way these monkeys would all be on the receiving end of a barrel.

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:20 pm
by The Kizzy
Tuggan wrote:fuck no, if he had his way these monkeys would all be on the receiving end of a barrel.


/agree. I wouldn't have laughed while watching a monkey swinging from my tree to my roof, I would have had target practice. Be warned, I am an excellent shot, or at least I was in boot camp.

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:34 pm
by Minrott
omfg this is my dream come true.

Give me a Benelli M1 and lots of #4 buck and I will kill fucking monkies all day. Every day, for the rest of my life.


"reee reee reee" BLAM!

Where do I sign up?

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:37 pm
by The Kizzy
hehe

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:43 pm
by Martrae
Why am I suddenly thinking of the Christopher Snow books?

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:53 pm
by Narrock
Kizzy wrote:
Tuggan wrote:fuck no, if he had his way these monkeys would all be on the receiving end of a barrel.


/agree. I wouldn't have laughed while watching a monkey swinging from my tree to my roof, I would have had target practice. Be warned, I am an excellent shot, or at least I was in boot camp.


hehe me too Kizz. I have a ribbon for excellent marksmanship from the Air Force boot camp.

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 8:59 pm
by veeneedefeesh
Air Force? that explains the sig

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:43 pm
by Narrock
veeneedefeesh wrote:Air Force? that explains the sig


What's wrong with the Air Force? Here's a little known factoid about the Air Force. You think the Navy Seals or the Marines Recon and Force Recon, or Army Rangers go in first? Wrong. Read this:

http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/airforce ... eyrole.htm

Sorry for the thread derailment, but I had to address Veenee's stupid comment.

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:26 am
by Darcler
I didnt read it.

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 7:28 am
by Martrae
Considering in another thread Venee said your sig was gaytastic and in this one he said the Air Force explains your sig....

Like I said in another thread....I really hope you pay more attention when you read the bible but the evidence is to the contrary.

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 8:03 am
by Donnel
Hey you guys, get out of my funny monkey thread!

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 9:26 am
by Martrae
Image

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 9:31 am
by The Kizzy
Martrae is trolling!!!! I'm telling!!!

Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 9:46 am
by Martrae
Nuh uh....I merely added another funny monkey!