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The Bat Killer (a mini blog)
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:31 am
by The Kizzy
So today is our receptionist's last day. Everybody brought in food, and we were having the lunch at noon. Our office has a big office for the owners in the front, with glass walls. Everyone but the receptionist was in the office doing some marketing stuff, me included. The office manager from our other office comes in at Noon, and she was talking briefly with the receptionist. All of the sudden, they both scream and come running into the owners office and slam the door shut. They were screaming BAT BAT. So we get them settled down enough to tell us that there was a bat hanging from the moldings in the front office. I went and got one of those hard wood floor shammies. Everyone is yelling WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WE WILL CALL PEST CONTROL. As I am getting that, our listing lead guy goes out the back door and opens the front door. I hit the bat dead on, and it falls to the floor, squealing. It squirms its way behind some computers that were just delivered. I try to push it out the door with the shammie, but it makes a lunge, and I dropped it as I back up. The handle is hanging out the front door. Dennis grabs the handle, and starts sweeping the bat outside. All the time all of the realtors are still in the office screaming. I go outside and pick up a brick and slam it down on the bat. It squashed blood everywhere. I have been dubbed Bat Killer in my office. Then we all ate pasta, brownies, and Cassada cake. It has been a good day so far.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:45 am
by Susvain
omfg you savage
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:10 pm
by Martrae
Why would you kill a bat? They eat mosquitos and other nasty flying biting bugs.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:10 pm
by Harrison
Killing a terrified bat because it got stuck somewhere...wow
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:11 pm
by Zanchief
Harrison wrote:Killing a terrified bat because it got stuck somewhere...wow
Fucking hippy.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:12 pm
by Harrison
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:12 pm
by Dylan
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:14 pm
by The Kizzy
Because bats carry diseases. We don't have mosiqutoes in our office.

Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:17 pm
by Arlos
Why not chase it outside and let it fly off?
-Arlos
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:18 pm
by mofish
Arlos wrote:Why not chase it outside and let it fly off?
-Arlos
No shit. What kind of ignorant shit was that, beating it to death for no reason?
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:20 pm
by Martrae
How very Medieval of you. How hard would it have been to just get it out the door and left it alone?
Bats can carry rabies but that doesn't mean every one you see does. Unless it was acting erratically, it's highly unlikely it was infected.
Educate yourself.
http://www.fws.gov/endangered/bats/bats.htm
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:21 pm
by The Kizzy
I am a trained bat killer. I know my business.
Oh and DUH, if I would have let it outside in the sun, it wouldhave burst into flames anyway.

Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:26 pm
by Zanchief
Kizzy wrote:Oh and DUH, if I would have let it outside in the sun, it wouldhave burst into flames anyway.

That's a good point.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:26 pm
by Tuggan
haha, you people are pussies. its a fuckin bat, its not like she crushed a kitty with a rock. settle down.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:30 pm
by Zanchief
Tuggan wrote:haha, you people are pussies. its a fuckin bat, its not like she crushed a kitty with a rock. settle down.
A cat is a better animal than a bat?
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:32 pm
by Tuggan
well duh. cats are cute and cuddly, thus not appropriate to be crushing with rocks. bats on the other hand are flying rodents with scary teeth and sonar, so crush away.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:39 pm
by Harrison
Bats are awesome, they fucking decimate the mosquito population
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:40 pm
by Tacks
I crushed a cat in the skull with a brick this morning and then I tied a rope around it's neck and drug it behind my car as I drove to work.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:42 pm
by The Kizzy
I believe that. You never did like cats.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:42 pm
by Jimmy Durante
You should have bit the head off and yelled the lyrics to Crazy Train.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:14 pm
by Minrott
Killing cats is a pastime. Killing bats is a felony. Here anyway.
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:21 pm
by Captain Insano
Kizzy wrote:I am a trained bat killer. I know my business.
Oh and DUH, if I would have let it outside in the sun, it wouldhave burst into flames anyway.

you are my hero. You need a costume or something in case of further bat infestations or possibly tarrantula assault
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:22 pm
by Minrott
wtf about zombies?
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:32 pm
by The Kizzy
I don't do zombies like in my younger years. I'm much to pudgy and old to be kicking my leg up that high. I remind myself of Bubba Hotep
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:41 pm
by Zanchief
Kizzy wrote:I remind myself of Bubba Hotep
You have a growth on your penis?