I'm a fucking pussy

[Spacewoman Spiff]

So, here's the thing. I hate confrontation. I will do anything it takes to avoid it if at all possible, including letting myself get fucking trampled by anyone who decides to take advantage of my generous nature.

My roommate has not had a job in about four months. At first, Johnny and I were taking up his slack, not really bothered because Jamison is (for the most part) a fairly responsible person. However, four months later... nothing. About 3 months ago, Johnny decided that this was too much for him to handle and he wanted to ask Jamison to leave.

Jamison and I have been friends for about 8 years now, and I don't really care enough about money to make something like this affect a friendship. So I told Johnny that I would pay for him to live here. So essentially, I'm paying 2/3 of the household bills. This would not really bother me too much except for the fact that I'm falling a bit behind in my own personal bills. Student loans are a fucking bitch, fyi. So now I'm working assloads of overtime at work, which is not making me a generally pleasant person to be around. Again, for a good friend, I will do this.

However, Jamison will occasionally come home with a new video game he's bought, or some jewelry that he's excited that he only paid $50 for. Geez. I wish I had $50 spare dollars to buy myself some jewelry. But, he's putting it on a credit card, so whatever. It's not like he can pay me rent with a credit card.

The thing that really bothers me, though, is that he can't even be bothered to clean up after himself. This weekend, I have to work two 12.5 hour shifts in a row... so I pretty much want to spend my days off relaxing and doing not a goddamned thing. What am I doing on my day off? Cleaning his nasty ass fucking bathroom. A couple of weeks ago, Johnny and I had a fairly intense cleaning afternoon, where I asked Jamison to at least please clean his bathroom. Apparently, cleaning his bathroom = wiping off the counter, rearranging all the shit on the counter and wiping off the mirror. The floor was not touched, the tub was not touched and the toilet was halfheartedly wiped down. Woo. After he finishes this, he sits in his room on his computer while Johnny and I spend our day off busting our asses to make our apartment a nice place to live in.

The next morning, I wake up to find empty water bottles littering the living room, his shoes left in the entry hallway and his dishes in the sink. I WILL FUCKING KILL HIM WITH MY ANGER.

*Deep breath* I know the obvious solution is to sit him down and calmly talk this situation out with him... but as was previously stated, I'm a pussy. Also, I really don't want it to seem like I'm holding the fact that I'm paying for him over his head. He never asked for it, so I shouldn't expect anything in return other than maybe some gratitude. Oh well. He's moving out at the end of the month to go live with another friend of ours. So, for the sake of harmony until then and since it's been going on this long anyways, should I just stfu and ride it out? Should I say something? I might sound like I'm being petty... but those of you who actually know anything about me other than messageboard junk know how easygoing I am, especially with something as trivial as money. So if it's pissing me off this badly, something isn't right.

Maybe I just need some e-hugs. Heck, I don't know. Anyways, if you've read this entire diatribe, thanks for listening. I'll be checking in periodically for my hugs, and in the meantime, I'll be finishing up with the chores. That I'm doing by myself.

[Zanchief]

So, here's the thing. I hate confrontation. I will do anything it takes to avoid it if at all possible, including letting myself get fucking trampled by anyone who decides to take advantage of my generous nature.

Unless you see someone in the super-market with an offensive t-shirt?

[DangerPaul]

Ride it out and then have wild sex with Johnny in every room when he is gone.

[Eziekial]

I am biting my tongue. I hope it works out quickly for you.

[Tacks]

QUIT WHINING YOU BIG FUCKING PUSSY


PS: Kill him, it will solve your problem

[xaoshaen]

You're the only one who can gauge the intensity of your two conflicting emotions. Is the impending confrontation worse than seething in rage for another three weeks? Would talking about it, even if things heat up, pose a greater risk to an eight year friendship than the resentment you're harboring? It won't be easy to simply flush away those feelings once Jamison moves out.

[Spacewoman Spiff]

So, here's the thing. I hate confrontation. I will do anything it takes to avoid it if at all possible, including letting myself get fucking trampled by anyone who decides to take advantage of my generous nature.

Unless you see someone in the super-market with an offensive t-shirt?

I had just gotten off of work. It was a stranger I'll never see again in my life. I feel no remorse, though under normal circumstances I would never do that. I would think it... but not do it.

[The Kizzy]

Here is some advice, take it or leave it.

If you don't want the confrontation of a face to face, write him a letter, that way you can get everything out. I would definetly mention that you have been pulling OT at work to help with his portion of the bills while he is job hunting. Tell him you are under alot of stress, and that you love him, he is a good friend, but you need something to change or else you are going to have a breakdown.

If he is truly your friend and not just there sponging off of you, he will appreciate the wake up letter and hopefully will help motivate him.

Then have crazy wild loud sex with Angry Johnny

[Gargamellow]

What you need to do is tell your friend cash, grass, or ass...nobody rides for free. Your loyalty to your friend is admirable. However, you cannot continue to support this person. You did not give birth to him. Also, it isn't worth your happiness with your man just to let some guy ride for free. You are an intelligent and assertive girl. You are just afraid to hurt his feelings. Well, get over it Honey. This guy is going to do this until you set him straight.

[Darcler]

That sounded like Jerry Springer script.

[Gargamellow]

I would like to change my vote. Ride it out. That's what I would do. Just wait patiently until your doman is your own once again.

Hello Darcler. How are you mam?

[Darcler]

I'm superb.

I still say make Johnny do it.

[The Kizzy]

Here is some advice, take it or leave it.

If you don't want the confrontation of a face to face, write him a letter, that way you can get everything out. I would definetly mention that you have been pulling OT at work to help with his portion of the bills while he is job hunting. Tell him you are under alot of stress, and that you love him, he is a good friend, but you need something to change or else you are going to have a breakdown.

If he is truly your friend and not just there sponging off of you, he will appreciate the wake up letter and hopefully will help motivate him.

Then have crazy wild loud sex with Angry Johnny

In case it got lost behind the Jerry Springer Hour

[Gypsiyee]

/e-hug Vieve

[Lyion]

The rent issue is one thing.

The second is make some house ground rules, and make sure they are abided by.

There is no reason someone cant work for months and months. Go Deliver fucking pizza's if one has to.

[Adivina]

Good luck Viv, I have the same problem (not the roommate thing, but the hating confrontation part).

/e-hug

[labbats]

See, this is why drugs start to suck when you hit your mid-20s. Your friends either quit and amount to something, or turn into this Jamison piece of shit. There's some exceptions, but they're few.

Consider your rent payments for him to be the way to keep him out of your life. He'll never hit you up for money or ask to help him move now. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and enjoy the apartment that is now just you and your boyfriend.

[Shannan]

I am going through the same stuff with my brother now. He doesnt do a damn thing around here besides eat all the food and make a hell of a mess, not to mention that a few of the girls he has brought over took some of my shoes and clothes, and he takes my sons clothes without asking for his son. Which is stupid because I gave him 2 trash bags of clothes for his son that didnt fit Marcus anymore. I am going to boot his ass though. Its been almost 2 months now and if he doesnt have his shit in line by now, he never had intentions to and will have to hope someone else will take him in. Freeloaders suck assholes!!!!!!!!

e-hug to you Viv~

[Phlegm]

It's not like he can pay me rent with a credit card.

Cash advance.

[kaharthemad]

OK here goes. The letter should read as follows:

1. Get a job. I dont give a rats ass if it is McDonalds...Get a job.

2. Start cleaning up after yourself. If you cant hire a maid. Refer to rule one.

3. Get a Job.

4. Start taking responsibility for your actions. If after 4 months you still dont have a job even if it is minimum wage then you are a slacker. This whole shit about buying on a credit card is bullshit. You can goto any ATM and get dough out for rent.

5. As of now the refrigerator, electricity, and AC are off limits. I am padlocking the refer. turning the ducts off to your room, pulling the fucking fuse in your room, and taking a wire cutters to your Cable and cable modem line..The Valve to your water in your shitty ass bathroom will be next.

6. Get a job

7. If all the criteria in this list is not met by the end of August your shit will be on the front porch. Pick it up there.

I realize you are a friend and you will always be so but for Christs sake man. Im your friend not your fucking mother.



------
If after all this is out in the open start leaving newspapers laying around the house with the job listings open.

[Lueyen]

If you pm me with your address I'll mail him a copy of your's and kaharthemad
posts to him... you can feign ignorance.

[kaharthemad]

sorry, I have a adversion to roomates pulling this. happened one too many times

[runamonk]

So, here's the thing. I hate confrontation. I will do anything it takes to avoid it if at all possible, including letting myself get fucking trampled by anyone who decides to take advantage of my generous nature.

My roommate has not had a job in about four months. At first, Johnny and I were taking up his slack, not really bothered because Jamison is (for the most part) a fairly responsible person. However, four months later... nothing. About 3 months ago, Johnny decided that this was too much for him to handle and he wanted to ask Jamison to leave.

Jamison and I have been friends for about 8 years now, and I don't really care enough about money to make something like this affect a friendship. So I told Johnny that I would pay for him to live here. So essentially, I'm paying 2/3 of the household bills. This would not really bother me too much except for the fact that I'm falling a bit behind in my own personal bills. Student loans are a fucking bitch, fyi. So now I'm working assloads of overtime at work, which is not making me a generally pleasant person to be around. Again, for a good friend, I will do this.

However, Jamison will occasionally come home with a new video game he's bought, or some jewelry that he's excited that he only paid $50 for. Geez. I wish I had $50 spare dollars to buy myself some jewelry. But, he's putting it on a credit card, so whatever. It's not like he can pay me rent with a credit card.

The thing that really bothers me, though, is that he can't even be bothered to clean up after himself. This weekend, I have to work two 12.5 hour shifts in a row... so I pretty much want to spend my days off relaxing and doing not a goddamned thing. What am I doing on my day off? Cleaning his nasty ass fucking bathroom. A couple of weeks ago, Johnny and I had a fairly intense cleaning afternoon, where I asked Jamison to at least please clean his bathroom. Apparently, cleaning his bathroom = wiping off the counter, rearranging all the shit on the counter and wiping off the mirror. The floor was not touched, the tub was not touched and the toilet was halfheartedly wiped down. Woo. After he finishes this, he sits in his room on his computer while Johnny and I spend our day off busting our asses to make our apartment a nice place to live in.

The next morning, I wake up to find empty water bottles littering the living room, his shoes left in the entry hallway and his dishes in the sink. I WILL FUCKING KILL HIM WITH MY ANGER.

*Deep breath* I know the obvious solution is to sit him down and calmly talk this situation out with him... but as was previously stated, I'm a pussy. Also, I really don't want it to seem like I'm holding the fact that I'm paying for him over his head. He never asked for it, so I shouldn't expect anything in return other than maybe some gratitude. Oh well. He's moving out at the end of the month to go live with another friend of ours. So, for the sake of harmony until then and since it's been going on this long anyways, should I just stfu and ride it out? Should I say something? I might sound like I'm being petty... but those of you who actually know anything about me other than messageboard junk know how easygoing I am, especially with something as trivial as money. So if it's pissing me off this badly, something isn't right.

Maybe I just need some e-hugs. Heck, I don't know. Anyways, if you've read this entire diatribe, thanks for listening. I'll be checking in periodically for my hugs, and in the meantime, I'll be finishing up with the chores. That I'm doing by myself.

Ouch you shouldn't have to put up with all that unless you're married. Seriously you don't need to have a cow or freak out on him but you do need to sit him down and explain that you're paying his way and he needs to get off his ass and figure it out, whether he's working at mickey d's or whatever he needs to get you money because now it's hurting you financially. If you he can't do this in a certain amount of time it would be good for him to move out. :/

[Captain Insano]

So, here's the thing. I hate confrontation. I will do anything it takes to avoid it if at all possible, including letting myself get fucking trampled by anyone who decides to take advantage of my generous nature.

My roommate has not had a job in about four months. At first, Johnny and I were taking up his slack, not really bothered because Jamison is (for the most part) a fairly responsible person. However, four months later... nothing. About 3 months ago, Johnny decided that this was too much for him to handle and he wanted to ask Jamison to leave.

Jamison and I have been friends for about 8 years now, and I don't really care enough about money to make something like this affect a friendship. So I told Johnny that I would pay for him to live here. So essentially, I'm paying 2/3 of the household bills. This would not really bother me too much except for the fact that I'm falling a bit behind in my own personal bills. Student loans are a fucking bitch, fyi. So now I'm working assloads of overtime at work, which is not making me a generally pleasant person to be around. Again, for a good friend, I will do this.

However, Jamison will occasionally come home with a new video game he's bought, or some jewelry that he's excited that he only paid $50 for. Geez. I wish I had $50 spare dollars to buy myself some jewelry. But, he's putting it on a credit card, so whatever. It's not like he can pay me rent with a credit card.

The thing that really bothers me, though, is that he can't even be bothered to clean up after himself. This weekend, I have to work two 12.5 hour shifts in a row... so I pretty much want to spend my days off relaxing and doing not a goddamned thing. What am I doing on my day off? Cleaning his nasty ass fucking bathroom. A couple of weeks ago, Johnny and I had a fairly intense cleaning afternoon, where I asked Jamison to at least please clean his bathroom. Apparently, cleaning his bathroom = wiping off the counter, rearranging all the shit on the counter and wiping off the mirror. The floor was not touched, the tub was not touched and the toilet was halfheartedly wiped down. Woo. After he finishes this, he sits in his room on his computer while Johnny and I spend our day off busting our asses to make our apartment a nice place to live in.

The next morning, I wake up to find empty water bottles littering the living room, his shoes left in the entry hallway and his dishes in the sink. I WILL FUCKING KILL HIM WITH MY ANGER.

*Deep breath* I know the obvious solution is to sit him down and calmly talk this situation out with him... but as was previously stated, I'm a pussy. Also, I really don't want it to seem like I'm holding the fact that I'm paying for him over his head. He never asked for it, so I shouldn't expect anything in return other than maybe some gratitude. Oh well. He's moving out at the end of the month to go live with another friend of ours. So, for the sake of harmony until then and since it's been going on this long anyways, should I just stfu and ride it out? Should I say something? I might sound like I'm being petty... but those of you who actually know anything about me other than messageboard junk know how easygoing I am, especially with something as trivial as money. So if it's pissing me off this badly, something isn't right.

Maybe I just need some e-hugs. Heck, I don't know. Anyways, if you've read this entire diatribe, thanks for listening. I'll be checking in periodically for my hugs, and in the meantime, I'll be finishing up with the chores. That I'm doing by myself.

jesus tits do I have to do everything for you people?

EASY: Steal his credit card. Then use it to have a locksmith come while he's out shopping for the next version of Leisure Suit larry and change all the locks. Throw all his shit in a big pile in the front yard and all the neighborhood dogs to shat all over it.

That should get the point acrossed.

[veeneedefeesh]

I'm a fucking pussy

Taste good?

Seriously, no one should hqve to support a friend while they sit on their ass and run up credit card bills. If he was really interested in taking care of business, he would have done so by now. which means he is either a slug or has issues.

As a friend it is you duty to let him know he is fucking up your friendship (you can't say that you look at him the same today as you did before this happened), and more importantly he is fucking up his own life. All things considered most reasonably responsible people feel much better about themselves when they are making thier own way in the world without having to mooch off of the generousity of friends/relations. Soe folks don't have the skills to do that, but at least making an effort is the important part.

If he is one of those aforementioned reasonably responsible people then he will benefit from your little talk, and you could not be more of a friend than by motivating him to take charge and get over whatever is causing him not to get a job. Sometimes people have self-esteem issues, sometimes depression, that cause them to fall into these ruts in life, it happpens to most people at one point in their lives. The key is to recognize it and get off your ass and do something about it, and getting a job and taking care of yourself is a damn fine place to start.

If he isn't a reasonably responsible person then he is using you and and will milk your ass like a cow until you are completely dry then move on to someone else, repeat and rinse. Is this really a friend you want to have or is it someone who has charmed you into thinking that they actually give a flying fuck about you, but really don't.. Either case he needs to know that you feel this way.