I have an opportunity to assfuck Washington Mutual... should

[Captain Insano]

I do it?


Most of you saw my recent posts regarding that horrid bank and the fact that they almost got me scammed on close to 2000 bucks, which actually isn't the first time a situation of this magnitude has arose with them.

Here is the update:

After the huge check bounced it just so happened that I had made a huge purchase of computers along with pallets of upgrades and the account was overdrawn for two days. As a result I netted about 400 dollars in bullshit fines from WAMU and the people I was trying to buy stuff from. In all reality the timing on this clusterfuck couldn't have been worse.

So I go in to a local branch and sit down with the branch manager and go over everything with her...

I bring statements showing that now about 400k or so has passed through her bank, that the account has an average balance of over 100k in it and that my treatment has been terrible so far.

I also ask her for increased daily spending limits. My current limit on my biz account is $2500.00 dollars. Yes I said that correctly $2500 fucking dollars on an account with an average balance of 100k.

I am well dressed, professional and polite with the woman. She basically treats me like I'm one of her fucking kids and is a total bitch to both me and my business partner.

On top of her bitch attitude she only reverses 50 dollars of the 400 in fines I received that was because of her banks fuckup. She denies my request for higher daily limits and instead tries to get me to sign up for a fucking AWFUL business loan at a SHIT rate.

I leave absolutely furious.

I then spend the next two days scouting new banks... I ended up with Bank of America of all places.

I used to fucking hate them, but they must have lost enough customers to turn things around... They greeted me at the door, were totally professional and understanding of my businesses needs.

In 2 hours I have all the accounts I need, a daily spending limit of 17.5 thousand dollars a day and complete control of every aspect of my accounts online.

WOOT!

Now that I don't need WAMU I have this little opportunity to get even...

Every single time I buy computers through them I spend 2500 dollars across 3 accounts. The charge goes through and the company takes the money and sends me the shit... Every single time the money re-appears for 3 days in my account about a week after the charge then disappears again.

I have tested it and I can withdraw the money. I can even use the damn ATM card at 500 bucks a day and bring the account 1000 dollars below balance before it cuts me off.

So lets say I buy 7500 in computers... I wait until the company gets paid and then when they magically put the money back in my account I withdraw all 7500 bucks and then overdraw each account 1000 bucks with the ATM card.

Thats 10500 dollars. Now obviously a week or so later WAMU will catch on.

What if I do this and play dumb and just tell them to totally fuck off...

What will the repercussions be?

Am I looking at a collection agency coming after my ass or more like the police and FBI?

I'm really feeling like Robin Hood on this one and am very tempted to exact some revenge in the name of the people!

What is everyone's thoughts?

[Minrott]

If you're looking to pocket that 10k that's essentially borrowed, you're looking at civil action from a law firm that specializes in collection. You'll end up in court and either settle for $x or if you have shit luck, twice what you "borrowed."

[The Kizzy]

You will be hit with overdraft fees, and you will never be able to open another account EVER. Why don't you go above the manager's head. Bring in the same information, and explain that because of the manager's condescending tone and her arrogance, and refusal to work with you, especially since you are a customer who deposits large sums of money into their bank, that you have decided to pull your accounts and go elsewhere. That will probably get her in trouble, although you won't get your money back if you won't stay with them.

[Captain Insano]

If you're looking to pocket that 10k that's essentially borrowed, you're looking at civil action from a law firm that specializes in collection. You'll end up in court and either settle for $x or if you have shit luck, twice what you "borrowed."

Just out of curiousity is this what the company has told you or do you know from personal/friends/family experience?


I have actually been advised by some pretty savvy businessmen to screw WAMU on this...

They told me yes it will go to collections and at WORST they will end up settling with you for anywhere from 50-80 percent of the balance which covers my losses just about.

The only real repercussion to me is my credit score, which I have people that can repair in under a month for about 1k bucks.

[Captain Insano]

You will be hit with overdraft fees, and you will never be able to open another account EVER.

Another account ever at WAMU or everywhere? Is there some kind of "were the bank and these guys fucked us list" kind of like a credit report?

[Martrae]

They put you on one of those check credit bureaus for 10 years or something asinine like that. Basically, if you try and open another checking account thru a bank that checks that bureau you won't get the account.

Is the account on your personal SSN or an EID?

[mofish]

Yeah I bounced a check and never paid it back in my college days with Bankone. Like $130. It didnt even matter that I paid it back later. I couldnt open a checking account for FIVE fucking years after that. In short, yes, there is a blackball list that banks can check. 'Chexsystems' or some shit.

[Captain Insano]

Hmm thanks for the advice... I may reconsider my actions.

[Captain Insano]

They put you on one of those check credit bureaus for 10 years or something asinine like that. Basically, if you try and open another checking account thru a bank that checks that bureau you won't get the account.

Is the account on your personal SSN or an EID?

SSN. I'm not opening an account attached to my corporation until 2006.

[Tikker]

the banks all get together with blacklists to fuck people over in as many ways as possible

[Minrott]

Family experience. If this was a corporate account, I'd say go for it and fuck them with a splintering broom stick. But since it's tied to -you- personally, even if it's a business account, you'll be the one ending up on the pike. Like I said, it may get settled out of court for 80%. But you're taking a chance and risking your financial future for what? Getting back at a faceless corporation that wouldn't even really feel the loss if you did get away with it.

Do what Kizzy said. Find the rot cunt's manager, tell him exactly why you're leaving, then call her a cock holster to her face in front of him, then ask if the only reason she has the job is so dude has a warm place to put his dick during lunch hour.

That'll be just as satisfying without the legal reprecussions.

[Kramer]

i think those are pretty expocot... and ellicit... instructions

[The Kizzy]

explicit

[Spacewoman Spiff]

Which one do you mean?

illicit - not allowed, or

elicit - to draw forth


I'm guessing the word you're looking for is explicit. Proper grammar makes for happy readers so they can actually know what the fuck.

[Kramer]

both, hit wrong keys for explicit, come on kids....

explicit - detailed and clear

illicit - not allowed or naughty!

[Captain Insano]

Family experience. If this was a corporate account, I'd say go for it and fuck them with a splintering broom stick. But since it's tied to -you- personally, even if it's a business account, you'll be the one ending up on the pike. Like I said, it may get settled out of court for 80%. But you're taking a chance and risking your financial future for what? Getting back at a faceless corporation that wouldn't even really feel the loss if you did get away with it.

Do what Kizzy said. Find the rot cunt's manager, tell him exactly why you're leaving, then call her a cock holster to her face in front of him, then ask if the only reason she has the job is so dude has a warm place to put his dick during lunch hour.

That'll be just as satisfying without the legal reprecussions.

Yah I'm escalating this... She's gonna fry. I intend to meet with one of the lower regional manager's at her branch and withdraw all my money in cash, which that can't cover but can't refuse either. It's going to be messy.

I am holding off on my assfucking for now... I did my research and about 75 percent of banks participate in the chexsystems reporting database. It is also not very hard to have the bad mark reversed IF you make it out to look like a mistake... meaning I take the money for a few months, then claim "oh whoopsie" give most of it back and have them reverse the bad mark.

[10sun]

Just wait until closing one of the days and then ask them to get the cash out and ask them to count it out over and over again.

Most banks can cover more than you think for cash withdrawls.

-Adam

[kaharthemad]

please give details on this one Capt. May i make a suggestion? Make sure you have QUITE a few deposits made day beofre so the Bank is even hard to retrieve your money...the more th merrier. if they bulk and insist on a Bankers note...insist on cash telling them you dont trust them enough, chances are they will bounce a cashiers check as well.

[Captain Insano]

hehe yah... we are going to let our working capital stack up a bit then go and ask them to withdraw it all in cash...

WAMU has this new type of bank where they have one or two tellers and lots of ATM machines, with a low amount of cash.

They are going to shit a brick when I go to withdraw it all. They will have to have an armored truck bring it out and it will be a huge fucking hassle. I intend to do it at the bank where that bitch works too.

[Tikker]

I'll be waiting outside to mug you np

[Arlos]

Yep, let us know when and where , and we can be there to rob you, sure thing. Why don't you take out an insurance policy on the money before it happens, we show up, rob you, you get your money back from the insurance company, we get a fat wad of cash, everyone wins!

-Arlos

[Captain Insano]

I'll be waiting outside to mug you np

My biz partner will be outside with his P99 locked and loaded... seriously. This is the standard routine when we draw out more than 5k in cash a shot.

[Captain Insano]

Yep, let us know when and where , and we can be there to rob you, sure thing. Why don't you take out an insurance policy on the money before it happens, we show up, rob you, you get your money back from the insurance company, we get a fat wad of cash, everyone wins!

-Arlos

Not a bad idea... but I want 20 percent of the original take and I keep the entire insurance policy.

This sounds like the beginning of HEAT. You can be Val Kilmer and I'll be De Niro.

[Ciladan]

Don't take it out on the tellers. They have enough bull to put up with without someone who is pissed off with something that is completely out of their hands.

[Arlos]

Sure 20% is fair, it's up to you to how to launder it, however. heh.

And hey, I don't mind being Val Kilmer. Screwing Ashley Judd, and the only one to survive of the entire gang.

-Arlos