New WOT book coming out..

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Postby Lyion » Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:29 am

Fair enough, Tikker.

I'm just irked because the first three WOT books were so GOOD. Then everything afterwards has been so completely piss poor, IMO.

Not sure how anyone can dislike GRRM. His books are amazing to me, and deeper than any fantasy out there.
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Postby Jei » Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:01 am

speaking of books, i work at an ice cream shop by myself all day long, and we have about 3 customers in my entire 7 hour day. this leaves a lot of reading time, and that's about all there is to do.


whats a good series to get into? i just finished Timeline, and that was okay. but now i need something new. any suggestions?
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Postby Ganzo » Thu Sep 15, 2005 6:02 am

"Deathstalker" by Simon R Green
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Postby Minrott » Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:49 am

I'd say the first 5 WoT books were pretty damn good. Enought to get me "hooked" and I bought and read the other 5, to my dissapointment. Fuck Jordan in the mouth. He couldn't wrap up a ham and cheese sandwich.
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Postby Tikker » Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:40 am

Minrott wrote:I'd say the first 5 WoT books were pretty damn good. Enought to get me "hooked" and I bought and read the other 5, to my dissapointment. Fuck Jordan in the mouth. He couldn't wrap up a ham and cheese sandwich.


I understand the frustration, but for me (and a lot of others that read the series) part of the magic of the books is that everytime a new book comes out, a different part of the story gets fleshed out, and some seemingly inconsequential event from 4 or 5 books ago becomes hugely important


I think half the fun is attempting to fill inthe blanks with wild theories (http://www.wotmania.com)
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Postby Martrae » Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:56 am

I've been making up/reading Harry Potter theories all morning. I must be really bored.
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Postby Zanchief » Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:59 am

Martrae wrote:I've been making up/reading Harry Potter theories all morning. I must be really bored.


The owl did it.
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Postby Minrott » Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:08 am

Tikker I felt that way for a while, and I'm somebody that thinks a trilogy is too short for a real story, but it's just getting to be too frustrating, especially since each book probably has 100 pages of filler recapping stuff you should remember from the last book


Terry Goodkind is doing the same thing now, and ruining Sword of Truth for me. =\
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Postby Lyion » Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:04 pm

Best Thread ever on WOT at The One Ring

http://forums.theonering.com/viewtopic2.php?t=49148

RJ Does LOTR

Book One - Frodo realizes he has to leave the Shire.

Book Two - Gandalf is captured by Saruman,

Book Three - Frodo leaves the Shire with Sam, Merry and Pippin.

Book Four - Frodo kills a Ringwraith with the Ring and realizes his destiny is to be Bullroarer Reborn.

Book Five - A lot of stuff happens but nothing advances the plot.

Book Six - Rosie Cotton catches up with the guys in Bree intending to bring them home but goes with them instead. Aragorn joins the party

Book Seven - Gandalf escapes from Orthanc.

Book Eight - They arrive at Rivendell and are reunited with Gandalf. Rosie sniffs alot.




I managed to hack into Jordan's computer and saw his plans for the rest of the story. This is my summary of it. Be careful - this may yet ballooon.

Book Nine - The Fellowship is enbroiled in the intrigues of the ruined Eregion.

Book Ten - They try to go over Caradhras.

Book Eleven - The Fellowship tries to decide which way to go. Meanwhile in the Shire there is much political turmoil but very little actually happens.

Book Twelve - The Fellowship decides to go through Moria and meets with the Watcher and Arwen.

Book Thirteen - Arwen worries about her neckline.

Book Fourteen - Gandalf sacrifices himself to get rid of the Balrog, whom Frodo was too softhearted to kill, and they fall into the abyss. Everyone but the reader thinks Gandalf is now really dead.

Book Fifteen - Due to the irritating darkness of Moria Arwen and Rosie nag at each other and to everyone in sight.

Book Sixteen - The arrival at Lothlórien.

Book Seventeen - Galadriel tries to seduce various male members in the Fellowship.

Book Eighteen - Arwen and Galadriel have a catfight.

Book Nineteen - A lot of signs and visions tell that Sauron is going to attack any moment now.

Book Twenty - The Fellowship leaves Lothlórien. Frodo aided by Legolas kills a Nazgûl in an epic fight that takes many pages.

Book Twenty-One - Frodo mutters to himself a lot.

Book Twenty-Two - Boromir is revealed to have been on Sauron's side all along.

Book Twenty-Three - Frodo gets bored with the Fellowship that is always trying to manipulate him.

Book Twenty-Four - Orcs kidnap Merry and Pippin.

Book Twenty-Five - Boromir and Gollum team up and later have a big fight fith Frodo. Frodo kills Boromir.

Book Twenty-Six - Rosie and Arwen go to rescue Merry and Pippin. The men (except Frodo and Sam) go to Edoras.

Book Twenty-Seven - Sam catches up with Frodo. Gollum tries to attack again and is captured.

Book Twenty-Eight - Rosie and Arwen move to rescue Merry and Pippin.

Book Twenty-Nine - Aragorn meets Éowyn and gets involved in Rohanian politics.

Book Twenty-Nine - Rosie and Arwen's fine plan to rescue Merry and Pippin is thwarted when they notice Merry and Pippin have already escaped.

Book Thirty - Merry and Pippin notice Ent politics are very complex indeed and Sauron has secret adherents even there.

Book Thirty-One - Rosie and Éowyn go to Lórien to learn magic from Galadriel.

Book Thirty-Two - Gandalf comes back but doesn't move the plot.

Book Thirty-Three - Frodo feels he can't handle the power of the Ring and decides to hide it away in a safe place. All the signs point to the direction that Sauron is going to attack very soon indeed.

At this point the file ended abruptly. There was only a brief note that Jordan thought his children should be allowed some creative freedom in continuing his work.






This is classic! I wish I had thought of it. One of these days we need to start a WOT PARODY page, wherein we write our own version of the WOT in all it's glory!

....we could call it the Wheel Of ENDLESS Time.....



Now now. Repeat after me:

Lavender soap

Perspiration

Cleavage

No sex

Alternative treatments include heavy medication and lonely islands.

I wonder if the constant use of lavender soap is because the women sweat so much in Jordan's world?



moonbiter, that's brilliant, and in honor of jordan's genius, i have prepared a short list of terms that will inevitabley crop up in his next novel, and shortened them to my own lame approximation of netspeak:

heaving breasts: h33fng bretz

sniff: snivt

nyneave, egwene, and all other female characters: bijjiz

rand, mat, perrin, and all other male characters: play3rz

hemline: ??? whta who needz tozse???!!111
Last edited by Lyion on Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Durothil Skyreaver » Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:24 pm

I really enjoyed them until book 7. Thats when it started going downhill for me. That being said, its still shitloads better than half the crap being churned out. Trying to figure out what is going to happen next is one of the most enjoyable things about the series.
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Postby Arlos » Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:22 pm

I stopped reading after the one where the 2 women, who are obviously not competent enough at surviving in the real world to be trusted to tie their own shoelaces without hurting themselves, go to some port city to find a magic bowl because the weather is icky. At the same time they're bumbling around like a pair of utter raving mongoloid retards and putting themselves into more and more danger, uselessly, they keep insulting and ignoring the men they're with who actually have at least heard of the concept of Clue, but who are themselves mental midgets of the highest order, yet are, for no readily apparent reason, trying to keep the ungrateful bitches alive and healthy. Oh, and some former bad guy who was now sort of a good guy, and was teaching the usual main character magic was re-kidnapped by the bad guys and turned into a chick.

I did manage to resist the urge to fling that steaming shitpile through the nearest window, but I've never read another one since, nor have I any interest in EVER reading ANYTHING else by that hack.

I stopped reading Terry Goodkind's series too. The first book was quite good. The 2nd was passable, but they went rapidly downhill. I bought, but couldn't bring myself to actually read more than the first chapter of the one where Richard decides to surrender to the bad guy at the beginning. Haven't picked up another one since, nor will I. Basically, it too turned into a re-written copy of WOT.

I AM looking forward to the next Martin book, though I need to re-read the first 3, as it's been quite a while and I can't remember WTF was going on. rofl.

BTW, if you guys want a couple GOOD books to read, grab Neil Gaiman's "Neverland" and "American Gods".

-Arlos
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Postby Tikker » Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:10 pm

Arlos wrote:I stopped reading after the one where the 2 women, who are obviously not competent enough at surviving in the real world to be trusted to tie their own shoelaces without hurting themselves, go to some port city to find a magic bowl because the weather is icky. At the same time they're bumbling around like a pair of utter raving mongoloid retards and putting themselves into more and more danger, uselessly, they keep insulting and ignoring the men they're with who actually have at least heard of the concept of Clue, but who are themselves mental midgets of the highest order, yet are, for no readily apparent reason, trying to keep the ungrateful bitches alive and healthy. Oh, and some former bad guy who was now sort of a good guy, and was teaching the usual main character magic was re-kidnapped by the bad guys and turned into a chick.

I did manage to resist the urge to fling that steaming shitpile through the nearest window, but I've never read another one since, nor have I any interest in EVER reading ANYTHING else by that hack.

I stopped reading Terry Goodkind's series too. The first book was quite good. The 2nd was passable, but they went rapidly downhill. I bought, but couldn't bring myself to actually read more than the first chapter of the one where Richard decides to surrender to the bad guy at the beginning. Haven't picked up another one since, nor will I. Basically, it too turned into a re-written copy of WOT.

I AM looking forward to the next Martin book, though I need to re-read the first 3, as it's been quite a while and I can't remember WTF was going on. rofl.

BTW, if you guys want a couple GOOD books to read, grab Neil Gaiman's "Neverland" and "American Gods".

-Arlos



I hope your memory is just rusty, cause that's not what happened at all in that book, heh
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Postby Goose_Man » Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:39 pm

Jei wrote:speaking of books, i work at an ice cream shop by myself all day long, and we have about 3 customers in my entire 7 hour day. this leaves a lot of reading time, and that's about all there is to do.


whats a good series to get into? i just finished Timeline, and that was okay. but now i need something new. any suggestions?



Read something that will allow you to get out of the ice cream shop....
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Postby Captain Insano » Fri Sep 16, 2005 2:00 am

Goose_Man wrote:
Jei wrote:speaking of books, i work at an ice cream shop by myself all day long, and we have about 3 customers in my entire 7 hour day. this leaves a lot of reading time, and that's about all there is to do.


whats a good series to get into? i just finished Timeline, and that was okay. but now i need something new. any suggestions?



Read something that will allow you to get out of the ice cream shop....


HAHAH! fucking win post.
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Postby Ganzo » Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:46 am

Arlos wrote:I stopped reading Terry Goodkind's series too. The first book was quite good. The 2nd was passable, but they went rapidly downhill. I bought, but couldn't bring myself to actually read more than the first chapter of the one where Richard decides to surrender to the bad guy at the beginning.
You stoped at the begining of his best book.
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Postby Maeya » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:02 am

Which was that, Faith of the Fallen?

I was mostly irritated at that book, though it did have some very memorable parts.

I think book 1 and 4 were my favorites. I haven't read Chainfire yet, but I think I'll wait till that's out on paperback (or is it already?).
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Postby Zanchief » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:18 am

It amazes me people still read entire books. It's an outdated medium of entertainment, like painting on cave walls and dancing around bonfires.
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Postby Lyion » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:41 am

Ganzo wrote:
Arlos wrote:I stopped reading Terry Goodkind's series too. The first book was quite good. The 2nd was passable, but they went rapidly downhill. I bought, but couldn't bring myself to actually read more than the first chapter of the one where Richard decides to surrender to the bad guy at the beginning.
You stoped at the begining of his best book.


No, he didn't. I've read the entire thing and Arlos stopped in the perfect place. That series was mediocre and went to complete ass.
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Postby Mop » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:48 am

Zanchief wrote:It amazes me people still read entire books. It's an outdated medium of entertainment, like painting on cave walls and dancing around bonfires.


Compared to a movie:

You get a better product 9 times out of 10 for less cost and holds your attention longer - Most movies are garbage that are predictable, rehash, garbage. Most books that are created into movies - the books are better than the movie.

To TV:

most tv is crap outside of a few shows - best books 99% of TV

Just because it takes a little longer and makes you use your brain somewhat doesnt make it bad.
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Postby Zanchief » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:50 am

Mop wrote:
Zanchief wrote:It amazes me people still read entire books. It's an outdated medium of entertainment, like painting on cave walls and dancing around bonfires.


Compared to a movie:

You get a better product 9 times out of 10 for less cost and holds your attention longer - Most movies are garbage that are predictable, rehash, garbage. Most books that are created into movies - the books are better than the movie.

To TV:

most tv is crap outside of a few shows - best books 99% of TV

Just because it takes a little longer and makes you use your brain somewhat doesnt make it bad.


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Postby Mop » Fri Sep 16, 2005 6:54 am

Great response I see you have wandered into the world of Fin, Taxx, MIndia...


it was a well thought out reply..

hey dumbass you are posting on a fucking EQ msg board at 850 am EST... you're a nerd too~
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Postby Ganzo » Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:53 pm

lyion wrote:
Ganzo wrote:
Arlos wrote:I stopped reading Terry Goodkind's series too. The first book was quite good. The 2nd was passable, but they went rapidly downhill. I bought, but couldn't bring myself to actually read more than the first chapter of the one where Richard decides to surrender to the bad guy at the beginning.
You stoped at the begining of his best book.


No, he didn't. I've read the entire thing and Arlos stopped in the perfect place. That series was mediocre and went to complete ass.
To me it's best of series. Our taste in books not same tho
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