Embarassing Moments.....a BLOG

[araby]

hehe ^_^ winch. I thought it was bad enough that I knew what it was...

[brinstar]

THEY KNOW

[leah]

My senior year at highschool, I was walking down the stairway to class with a friend and was discussing the new pet tarantula my boyfriend and I had gotten. We had found out it was a male and decided to name it "General" because he was so huge.
Little did I know that "fat-chick varsity cheerleader" had overheard my conversation, and immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was pregnant and talking about my baby.

The next day at school, as we were walking into the lunchroom, I got a ton of strange stares. Another friend comes running up to me all excited and exclaims, "Oh my god! Is it true??"
I was like, "Uh, is what true?"
"That your pregnant and it's a boy???"
...
"What the fuck are you talking about? Where the hell did you get the idea I was pregnant?"
" 'fat-chick varsity cheerleader' has been telling everyone what she heard you saying yesterday! She said you found out it was a boy and you were going to name it 'General' and everything!"

Looking back, I don't know why I was so embaressed, because now the whole thing is hilarious. Anyway, now that I had understood why everyone was staring, I immediately walked out of the lunchroom.
Not a few minutes later, I confronted dum-dum in the hallway in front of her friends and helped her understand how it was impossible to become pregnant with a tarantula

lol my boyfriend has a tarantula named "the good general von stuben" (pronounced SCHTOOBEN)

i am terrified of it

also, alex, didn't you have a bandaid on your forehead after you walked into that pole? i remember you did it right around christmastime so all of our family pix had you with a huge bandaid on your head hehe

[Adivina]

If my boyfriend ever had a tarantula, and he happened to escape or be remotely near me, he would be a fucking pancake.

[Harrison]

That's one expensive pancake...

[Darcler]

If Gidan had one and it escaped, it would still be roaming around the house because my ass would have left for my mom's. I would have probably left when he brought it home. No way it is staying at my house.

Did I ever post my roach story?

[Harrison]

I don't think so...

[mappatazee]

Here is another embarassing moment. I had just moved to Pennsylvania to be with an ex boyfriend, and we were lying in bed one night. I had to drive out of town for my first day at work for training the next morning, and he was starting his new job the next day as well. We were lying there and spooning and he said he couldn't sleep, so I told him to run his fingers through my hair, (I love that) and he did. I let him stroke my hair for a couple of minutes and I giggled and in a naughty voice said "Not that hair" and giggled again. He paused for a minute, said okay, and started stroking my upper lip. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. I get my lip waxed now with my eyebrows.

Jesus fucking christ you just made bile sputter in my throat!

[Darcler]

It's really long, and not so much embarassing...well only embarassing when people say "lol what a tard, scared of bugs"...but anyway...

Nevermind, it is way too long to post.

[Harrison]

Here is another embarassing moment. I had just moved to Pennsylvania to be with an ex boyfriend, and we were lying in bed one night. I had to drive out of town for my first day at work for training the next morning, and he was starting his new job the next day as well. We were lying there and spooning and he said he couldn't sleep, so I told him to run his fingers through my hair, (I love that) and he did. I let him stroke my hair for a couple of minutes and I giggled and in a naughty voice said "Not that hair" and giggled again. He paused for a minute, said okay, and started stroking my upper lip. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. I get my lip waxed now with my eyebrows.

O
M
G

[Blackdiam]

One day in the sixth grade the teacher leaves the room and we started throwing something around can't remember what it was now but someone through it at me and I ducked not only did we break a vase on the teacher's desk but my pants split and I walk over to my desk and sit down and someone asked whats wrong and I say in a very low voice my pants split and everyone starts laughing and then I hear in the back of the room one of the girls say hey I think I see one of his balls hanging out

[mappatazee]

Was one of your balls hanging out?

[mappatazee]

This would have been embarassing if I was older, but I was in first grade or about 6 years old so it wasn't at the time. But now that I think of it, it's pretty hilarious. I ate a bowl of cheerios for breakfast and began feeling sick on the busride to school. I decided I was feeling too ill probably within the first hour of class, so I told the teacher and she released me to go to the nurse's room. We had open walkways (not halls, 'breezeways') and I pretty much had to walk around the corner to get to the office. A parent bringing either one or two children into school walks around the corner at which point I can no longer prevent vomiting. I do this right at my feet, very clearly a bowl of cheerios. I don't remember any splashing on me, but I don't remember bending over at all, I pretty much just spewed on the floor from standing height, maybe leaning a bit, and said "Eh, I knew that was going to happen" and continued on my way.

[Darcler]

The short version of my roach story:

There was a roach about the size of 1/4 a graham cracker (those long strips) that made its way into my apartment. I got scared and hid by the door and watched it walk to the area above the desks. I got a broom, did a Xena yell and ran to hit it. I missed and it scurried off. Two more times I tried to hit it ont he floor but it was too big to be killed by a broom. So I get my shit and head to my moms house 30 minutes away at 4am to sleep there. I go in, my mom is asleep on the couch, she asks me what I was doing there, I said there was a roach in my apartment. She asked Why dont you just kill it? I said I tried. It wouldnt die. She laughed at me and went back to sleep.

The original version is written like a crappy novel so there is a lot of visual that is too long for here.

[liquidstayce]

young teen out with all my friends - white shorts - six flags great adventue - coming of the water raft ride - first time i got my period .. everyone else gets to know about it too

top that..........

that is at least up there with the shit on the shoe
lmfao

[Martrae]

White dress at a co-workers wedding while I was in high school....I made a big splash (on the dress....not the floor) while dancing.

[Captain Insano]

The short version of my roach story:

There was a roach about the size of 1/4 a graham cracker (those long strips) that made its way into my apartment. I got scared and hid by the door and watched it walk to the area above the desks. I got a broom, did a Xena yell and ran to hit it. I missed and it scurried off. Two more times I tried to hit it ont he floor but it was too big to be killed by a broom. So I get my shit and head to my moms house 30 minutes away at 4am to sleep there. I go in, my mom is asleep on the couch, she asks me what I was doing there, I said there was a roach in my apartment. She asked Why dont you just kill it? I said I tried. It wouldnt die. She laughed at me and went back to sleep.

The original version is written like a crappy novel so there is a lot of visual that is too long for here.

hahahah you had me at Xena yell.... Awesome mental picture of you dawning your saran wrap armor and grabbing thine holy broom of +5 to cockroach and charging the vile beast.

[Darcler]

Oh
My
Jesus

There is a roach in my apartment. It is the size....the closest I can come up with is 1/4 a graham cracker, you know those long pieces you break off. If you were to put that on top of this guy, there would still be legs and a little bit more sticking out.

I was laying on the couch, watching Nightmare Before Christmas, out of the corner of my eye, I spot something black on the window blinds. I move my head to focus on it with my glasses, and wouldnt you know. It's a fucking roach. I jumped about 4 feet up and ran to the front door, it went behind the blinds. I could hear it move the slats as it moved down. I went outside to see where exactly it was so I could throw something at the window to maybe kill it. It was at the bottom. I came back inside and I still hear the slow clinking of the slats, indicating that it was still moving somewhere. Then it popped its ugly head out and made its way to the back door. "Great, you can just open the door and hope it goes outside" Yes I could, but keep in mind. I am very, VERY scared of bugs, roaches especially. I am still at the front door breathing heavy. "The broom!" Ah, yes. So I went and got the broom from the laundry room. As I run back to the front door and turn around, it is on the wall walking over to the computer area. "Oh no you dont Roachy!"
I smack it with the broom.
I miss.
I run back to the door.
I am now crying and calling Matt's cell phone. I call him twice and then send him a text message when he doesnt answer.
Well when I say I missed, I didnt really. I hit it. Off the wall. It fell to the floor behind my desk and scurried....uh....somewhere. I am now having a panic attack. I was standing at the door for about 10 minutes, eyeing everything around the computers for any movement.
Then I see it. Under Matt's case.
I let out a barbaric yell and run towards it with my broom again.
SMACK!
I missed again.
It went back under his desk.
I went back to the door.
So I am now looking for shoes. My shoes are missing. Crap. I saw Matt's shoes and decided that I wasnt going to do this all night, plus it would eventually get very angry with me and attack back. I ran, broom close and at the ready, to the bedroom to grab the first shirt I touched.
Lights off.
Bathroom, lights off.
Hailey's room, lights off, door closed.
Hallway, lights off.
I did a gazell leap over the crap in my way back to the front door. Before I reached around the wall to turn the kitchen light off, I saw the bastard. He was trying to hide under the counter by Matt's computer. Lights off. I got my bag, stuffed my shirt in, my phone in and prayed the keys were in there. I heard them. Good. I turned the TV and the living room lights off and went to my car.
Its 4:10. Should I call and tell my mom I am coming to her house? Nah, I have keys. I did call Matt a couple times more, this time I left a voicemail.
I got to my moms house, very quietly opened the door, put my keys down and head to the living room.
"What are you doing here"
"There's a roach the size of my fist in my apartment"
"Why dont you just kill it, baby?"
"I tried. It wont die"


It is written in blog fashion because it was indeed on a blog site.

[Arlos]

It's a cockroach, not a land shark. WTF is it going to do, dislocate its jaws like a python on acid and swallow a body part whole? Get large hardback book. Wait for roach to get out from under desk. Smash with book. Get paper towel and clean gack off of book.

Very simple.

-Arlos

[Gidan]

What she leaves out is that earlier in the day she went on a cleaning spree and the bathroom stunk of cleaning stuff.

When I get home, I go into the bathroom and there is the roach belly up.

[Adivina]

ok so here we go, I have bug story too!

I was sitting on Aryy's computer, everyone else is asleep. All of a sudden WHOOOOSH a fucking big brown thing flies by my head and behind the computer desk. I thought it was a fucking bat it was so big. Now, bats don't scare me, but I do indeed want help in this operation. So I go into the living room and wake up Aryy's step brother who is on the couch. "Omg, there is a bat in Joey's room Ed, come help me catch it"

Eddie gets up looking rather pissed to be awake, but humors me anyway. He goes in the room, and.... nothing. Finally I tell him whatever just go to bed. Then I see it. Its not a bat, its the biggest fucking ugly brown praying mantis I have ever seen in my life, and its crawling up the side of the desk. Right that second Aryy calls me, so I am like omg there is a praying mantis in your room. Apparently he wants me to catch it and save it so he can see how huge this bug really is. Ok.... I tell Eddie to watch the bug and run to get the only thing I can find, a sauce pan and a plate to cover the top of it.

All of a sudden I notice Eddie behind me. WTF! You are supposed to be watching the bug! We go back in the room.... Mr Mantis is gone! I curse a little, then proceed to tear apart the room trying to find him. Don't worry everyone on teamspeak tells me, they are friendly! Yeah fuck them, he can be as friendly as he wants, if I find his ass crawling on me when I sleep I will pee myself.

Aryy gets home, still no sign on Mr Mantis. So he convinces me to go to bed. We lay down turn off the lights, and I CAN HEAR THE FUCKER MOVING AROUND. Aryy tries to lie and tell me its just the lizard shifting in her cage because he knows I am a fucking spazz and I will freak out and never sleep. So I lay there, listening to mantis doom noises. All of a sudden BAM the fucker flies right at my face. I leap out of bed like my ass is on fire, jump clear over Aryylas and hit the ground running.

Aryy turns on the light and the bastard is on the wall above my pillow staring at me, waving his little talons back and forth. He knows I want him out, and he is not going easy. I grab a tupperware bowl, and give it to Arry who tries to coral it. (Mind you killing a mantis is a heavy fine here in MA). The fucker dive bombs Aryylas. This bitch was mean! Finally he landed on the guitar amp and Aryy managed to catch him. When we put him outside the bastard tried to get back in with me!

So yeah, thats my story. I am not afraid of the little tiny green praying mantises but this bitch was HUGE BROWN UGLY AND MEAN!

[The Kizzy]

How can they PROVE you killed a mantis?

[Tuggan]

why is there a fine attached to killing a bug?

[Tacks]

also, alex, didn't you have a bandaid on your forehead after you walked into that pole? i remember you did it right around christmastime so all of our family pix had you with a huge bandaid on your head hehe

That was just his wigger phase.

[Ginzburgh]

One day in college Kerouac and I were hanging out. He was playing EQ and I was walking around doing nothing.

I pulled a leaping jump onto the couch without realizing there was an uncapped, ball point pen stuck between two of the couch cushions in an upright position.

I slammed down hard on the pen in a sitting position and the pen held its ground and went right up my ass. Naturally I screamed like a woman. I leapt up and pulled the pen out and then I bled profusely from the anus for the next...oh...two weeks or so. There was a huge gash up my ass that initially bled for hours. I begged Kerouac to take me to the hospital (because I didn't have a car) and he just laughed at me, refused to move from his camp in EQ and told me to "sop it up with some toilet paper".

Every time I shit for the next two weeks the gash would re-open and I'd go through it all over again.

That story runs a close first to the time I went to let out a huge fart in bed one morning and ended up spraying about 10 gallons diarrhea all over the place instead. Later on in the day my other roommate was like, "dude why is your comforter hanging from our window on the outside of the house?"

Good times.