BRAIN CRAMPS - Some quotes to make you feel smarter.

[Martrae]

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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....Feeling smarter yet?

[Phlegm]

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

Classic.

[Skrum]

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

That is my favorite because its not factually stupid.

[Thon]

i prefer another quote of this

"The bitch set me up"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washing, DC

[Zanchief]

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle

[Kramer]

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

outside the crack addiction i have never been addicted to drugs......

[Gypsiyee]

I'm surpised Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton managed to stay off that list

good quotes though, thanks Mart =)

[kaharthemad]

I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
--General George S. Patton

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
- Steven Wright

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks

"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945)

"I am become death, shatterer of worlds."
- Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion)



"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."
- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk."
- Harold Robbins

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
- Woody Allen (1935-)

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?"
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing


"#3 pencils and quadrille pads."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer; he also recommended using the back side of the pages so that the grid lines were not so dominant.


"Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.

[Adivina]

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945)

I like this quote~

[Dylan]

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."
- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk."
- Harold Robbins

I like this whole set

[brinstar]

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

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O RLY?

[Adivina]

Well aren't you the regular killjoy

[brinstar]

the site said that dubya did indeed say something very similar to "more and more of our imports are coming from outside the country"

[Tossica]

Dubya is a fuckin' retard. His dumbass quotes could fill volumes.

[Spazz]

Hes just not a good public speaker !

[Minrott]

I do not wish to kill nor to be killed, but I can foresee circumstances in which these things would be by me unavoidable

[Tikker]

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

That quote is wrong

It was said by Yogi Berra, no?

[Minrott]

Madden says it every fucking game. God I hope he dies.

[Maeya]

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
- Steven Wright

That's clever =)

[Diabolik]

"I am become death, shatterer of worlds."
- Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion)

"Now we're all sons of bitches."
- Dr. Richard Feynman (standing next to Oppenheimer during the explosion)

[KaiineTN]

"You're not dying of this disease, you're living with this disease. Until it kills you."

[Diekan]

Madden says it every fucking game. God I hope he dies.

Madden has got to be, by far, the stupidest announcer in all of sports.

"If you catch the ball in the end zone it's a touch down!"

I can't stand that fat stupid fuck.

He's the king of the obvious.

I remember during a game he was talking about a player - I don't remember who - but they were talking about said players educational background. The player had a degree in chemical engineering (I think) and fat fuck Madden (FFM for short) actually said... "Chemical engineering, what in the world would you do with that?"

I hope he chokes on a turkey drumstick.