Can you legally beat a woman in your state?

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Postby Jesus » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:52 am

AdivinaDarkfyre wrote:Massachusetts
• A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City.
• A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
• Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
• Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
• Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Two people may not kiss in front of a church. No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city. No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except o Sundays. It is illegal to eat peanuts in church. An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present. Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common. No one may take a bath without a prescription. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
• Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You'd get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left.
• Bullets may not be used as currency.
• Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink".
• Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
• Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes. • Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
• Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
• Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
• Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
• Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
• Holyoke, Massachusetts, makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.
• In a law that predates returnable bottles and cans, it's illegal in Boston to rummage through rubbish containers.
• In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
• In Boston it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It's also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole.
• In Boston, it's illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
• In Boston it's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street.
• In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
• In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
• In Massachusetts you must have a license to wear a goatee.
• In Massachusetts, if you get caught eating peanuts in church , you can be jailed for up to one year.
• In Provincetown, Mass., it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.
• In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
• It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
---- Wtf a law before just said its illegal to bathe without a doctors note!!!!---
• It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
• It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
• It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
• It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
• It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
• It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
• It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
• It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
• It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.

• Marlboro: It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. Silly string is illegal in the city limits. One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
• Massachusetts law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court.
• Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
• Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
• Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
• Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
• North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
• Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
• Public boxing matches are outlawed.
• Quakers and witches are banned.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
• Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
• Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
• There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.
• Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
• Under an old law in Marblehead, Mass., it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary.
• Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
• You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
• You may not curse inside the city limits.
• You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.

Well now, I am in big trouble about the sex and body peircing thing >< Fortunatly I have not crapped on my neighbor lately.


Thanks, I wanted to read the entire list again after visiting the original website.
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Postby Maeya » Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:05 am

I don't see how this is such a bad thing:


Minnesota:
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
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Postby kaharthemad » Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:41 am

Maeya wrote:I don't see how this is such a bad thing:


Minnesota:
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.


same here.
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Postby Gargamellow » Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:28 am

ILLINOIS
• Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited; There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.

Well of course there is no ice skating allowed because there is no ice at that time. Also, the punks cruising 23rd avenue were gangbangers causing trouble in every other parking lot they drove past, so they had to be eliminated because it was dirtying up the businesses that run along 23rd avenue...which is no known as the Avenue of the Cities.

• "Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.

I like to toss dwarves so I guess I am going to prison.
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Postby Zanchief » Mon Jan 16, 2006 1:03 pm

• It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.

Thats the best one so far.
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Postby Captain Insano » Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:47 pm

Maeya wrote:I don't see how this is such a bad thing:


Minnesota:
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.



wtf?! some dickhead is robbing you and he breaks his leg running away with your TV and you think it's ok he can sue you?

Fuck that! It should be ok to shoot that motherfucker in the back without repercussion.
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Postby DESX » Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:54 pm

Zanchief Returns wrote:• It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.

Thats the best one so far.


Iowa- In Marshalltown horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
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Postby Maeya » Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:42 pm

captain_insano wrote:
Maeya wrote:I don't see how this is such a bad thing:


Minnesota:
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.



wtf?! some dickhead is robbing you and he breaks his leg running away with your TV and you think it's ok he can sue you?

Fuck that! It should be ok to shoot that motherfucker in the back without repercussion.


Haha, I totally misread that law and thought it said "It is illegal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house."

Now I understand why it's on the stupid law list.
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Postby Trielelvan » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:22 pm

Nevada

• Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask. (WTF?)

• In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures. (roflz!)

• In the old days in Nevada a man caught beating his wife was tied to a stake for eight hours a day with a sign that read, "Wife Beater" fastened to his chest. (damn, guess you're safe now Ralf lol)

• It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. (... ok)

• It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. (yep)
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Postby Zanchief » Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:07 am

Maeya wrote:
captain_insano wrote:
Maeya wrote:I don't see how this is such a bad thing:


Minnesota:
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.



wtf?! some dickhead is robbing you and he breaks his leg running away with your TV and you think it's ok he can sue you?

Fuck that! It should be ok to shoot that motherfucker in the back without repercussion.


Haha, I totally misread that law and thought it said "It is illegal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house."

Now I understand why it's on the stupid law list.


I assumed. I'm pretty damn liberal and even I was like WTF?
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Postby leah » Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:52 am

didn't that happen on the movie liar liar?

jim carrey's secretary had a friend whose house got broken into and the burglar hurt himself and sued and won "because of lawyers like you" or something like that
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Postby Maeya » Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:59 am

leah wrote:didn't that happen on the movie liar liar?

jim carrey's secretary had a friend whose house got broken into and the burglar hurt himself and sued and won "because of lawyers like you" or something like that


Yeah, I remember that scene. It didn't actually *happen* on the movie, but his secretary was talking about it.
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Postby leah » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:04 am

ya that's what i meant hehe

i remember thinking "can they do that??"
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Postby kaharthemad » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:48 am

captain_insano wrote:
Maeya wrote:I don't see how this is such a bad thing:


Minnesota:
• It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.



wtf?! some dickhead is robbing you and he breaks his leg running away with your TV and you think it's ok he can sue you?

Fuck that! It should be ok to shoot that motherfucker in the back without repercussion.

Shit misread it. chalk it up to switching the Workplace to decaf.
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Postby kaharthemad » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:57 am

Yes we are going to decaff for 2 weeks!!1 I figure after two weeks Ill switch them to my breakfast blend I keep in a thermos. 50/50 cappachino and Esspresso beans.

Should make for a entertaining workplace.
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Postby Gypsiyee » Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:33 am

There've been quite a few lawsuits where robbers have sued for getting hurt on the property. One that I remember from school is a robber slashing his leg on a fence (badly enough to need stitches) suing, and winning. I wouldn't really say it's a stupid law, since people DO succeed at going through with it. I'd say it's more of a necessary due to dumb people law.
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Postby Minrott » Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:38 am

How in any way, shape, or form can that law be necessary? You're trespassing on my property, whether to do ill or not, I am not in any way responsible for injuries that may occur.

That type of law is exactly what's wrong with this state. It's Madison politics, and it's crap.
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Postby leah » Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:46 am

that's exactly what i was thinking. there is no way in hell someone who is trying to rob you should be able to sue you. fuck that. it's their own damn fault for trying to break in.
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Postby Gypsiyee » Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:53 am

It's necessary due to the fact that dumbasses WILL try, and sometimes, they succeed, as they have in the past.

The necessity is derived from the lack of common sense of some officials and juries who agree that if it's on your property and someone gets hurt, it's your responsibility.

Now of course, I don't agree with the idea that people should be able to sue.. and it's unfortunate that they even try.. but with the risk of them winning, I'd rather know that they have absolutely no chance in hell to find a loophole and get my money because they were trying to rob me.
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Postby Gypsiyee » Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:58 am

Let me backtrack because I got confusticated with the whole misquoting thing

LEGAL to sue, no

ILLEGAL to sue is the necessity I speak of ><
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Postby Martrae » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:03 am

I remember a case where a burgler was crawling across someone's roof and fell thru a skylight, sued and won. That was in CA if I remember correctly.
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Postby Minrott » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:04 am

Oh, see the laws here in WI and in MN allow them to sue, which was why it's in the stupid law list.

I figured you were looking at it like that hehe.
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