Customer Creates Trouble With Fake Penis

[Ouchyfish]

A woman who said she was trying to cheat on a drug test started a chain of events in a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis.

The events unfolded when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation", according to police. The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave it for 20 seconds.

When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis. She immediately called the police which then started investigating the incident.

After it was broadcast on the news, a woman called police to say she was with the man in the store and gave her account of what happened. She said she had to take a drug test for a job she was applying. And the man with her filled the device with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test.

When also said the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test" — be warm enough to not arouse suspicion.

Local police still weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device resembling a male penis and planned to further interview the woman. The police said charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible. They said the clerk at the store is "still visibly shaking" and the microwave used would be thrown out.

[Phlegm]

The Whizzinator striked again!!!

[brinstar]

heh one guy in our office brought in one of those

the little cup was steamed over inside, he had microwaved it just before he came in lol

[Ouchyfish]

Reminds me of that episode of "The Office" where he had to sneak the dildo in the meeting.

[Darcler]

I can't pee on cue. This makes the test people angry.

I also cant pass a drug test because of a weird embalance, so I have to have a doctor's note anytime a drug test is administered.

[Kramer]

If she was applying at a Whole Foods, being a woman and having a schlong would have probably been a plus for her application..... CELEBRATE DIVERSITY

[The Kizzy]

Maybe because it would have been easier for her to hide and bring into the test being a penis shaped object. Do I have to spell it out for you?

[Captain Insano]

If she was applying at a Whole Foods, being a woman and having a schlong would have probably been a plus for her application..... CELEBRATE DIVERSITY

ahhaha so fucking true! Whole foods is run by hippie dykes.

but the food there is really good, it's where I do my shopping.

[leah]

if we had one that's where i'd go too. MMMMM whole foods!

[araby]

If she was applying at a Whole Foods, being a woman and having a schlong would have probably been a plus for her application..... CELEBRATE DIVERSITY

ahhaha so fucking true! Whole foods is run by hippie dykes.

but the food there is really good, it's where I do my shopping.

hahaha you guys are so right. both stores here are run by hippy dikes. so funny. I guess my office participates with their insurance, so we get all of the employees!

[Adivina]

I can't pee on cue. This makes the test people angry.

I also cant pass a drug test because of a weird embalance, so I have to have a doctor's note anytime a drug test is administered.

I'm glad someone else can't pee on command lol. I just can't do it. I can't pee around other people too, I don't know why, used to be no problem but now if someone is in the bathroom stall next to me I am like AHHHH CAN'T PEEE.

[Ouchyfish]

R Kelly would help you overcome that obstacle.

[Gargamellow]

hahahahahahahahahahahaahhaah

[Eldred]

R. Kelly wants to pee on you, not for you.