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Postby horhay boosh » Mon May 08, 2006 2:25 pm

Kitchen and bedroom blessings offered by vicars

LONDON (Reuters) - British homeowners wanting to liven up their sex lives, ward off bathroom germs or calm kitchen rows can now call on God -- or at least his ministers -- for help.

A new service is being offered by vicars in the north of England who give blessings to people moving to a new home.

They will say prayers for each room, calling on divine assistance to protect the home and the health of those in it.

Rev Chris Painter, a vicar in the diocese of Manchester, told Reuters the initiative was designed tempt new people into the church.



"For a large part of the church's history, people have come into the church building," he said. "Nowadays people tend not to come into church so we need to find new ways to meet people."

"This is exactly what Jesus did in his ministry -- he went out to where the people were and he met them there."

Painter said invitation cards would be left in the offices of real-estate agents around the diocese to inform new residents of the free home blessing service.

Individual prayers can be said for every room in the house: For the bedroom, clergy will lay hands on the bed and pray its occupants have a healthy sex life. In the bathroom, they will pray for good health and "give thanks for sanitation."

In the kitchen, the prayer will ask: "O Lord, to all who shall work in this room that, in serving others, they may serve you and share in your perfect service and that in the noise and the clutter of the kitchen they may possess you in tranquility, through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Hey.. come on... I mean. It's not like it's ROCKET SURGERY....

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Postby Lionking » Mon May 08, 2006 3:25 pm

I can't believe they're doing this for free. This could have helped pay for their pedophile lawsuits! :mystery:
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Postby Phlegm » Mon May 08, 2006 3:59 pm

They are going to offer resurrection next.
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Postby Vincenti » Mon May 08, 2006 10:54 pm

They are going to offer resurrection next

now THAT I would pay for
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