WoW has defeated Juls

[Gargamellow]

shows what you know

sometimes the truth hurts...if it makes me look like a cunt..WHO CARES?

[Insanityfair]

Yeah, here isn't exactly the best place for advice but once in awhile you can get nuggets of truth that can be beneficial.

I believe online relationships can work but they will only go so far before you decide to go seperate ways or move in together/near to each other.

Let him go. Best advice you can get...aside from not taking advice from NT lol. Just by what you said it sounds like almost every day he has something that he feels is better to do than talk to you. He can't tell you he loves you back...has he told you he loves you in the past? If so then he's either falling out of love...or found something new.

There are plenty of ways that you guys could stay connected if he wanted to but if you're getting pushed out for WoW...or possibly the latest piece of cyber arse he found on WoW, show him the door.

[Captain Insano]

fix all your relationship woes for like 10 bucks a month or something: http://www.adultfriendfinder.com

[leah]

i lose to WoW every once in awhile hehe

but he knows where i draw the line and that he will have shit to pay if he doesn't respect that line.

if you've tried outlining such boundaries to no avail, cut him loose~

[Gargamellow]

ya my boyfriend plays eq all the time..it drives me nuts..........



























when i pass out at keyboard and he just lets me sleep:(

[Markarado]

Juls, ask yourself if all of this is worth it. I know how much effort you put into making this relationship work. For quite some time now he's been putting very little effort if any at all into it.

I think you told me that he was planning on getting a job at the shipping yards.... Did you tell me he's still not working? Ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't working towards their future. It doesn't seem like he's doing anything to benefit himself.

With your health problems, work, and your boyfriend, you've been really stressed out. Right now your main concern should be your health, and the stress isn't helping.

Getting over him will definately be hard, but it might very well be the best thing for you.


And shit, that huge gangster dude in Kuala Lumpure lubs you!!!~ .... He really is quite a big gangster...

[Captain Insano]

Juls you should date Mark's flatmate. There's always room for another girl in any relationship ; )

[Markarado]

ROFL.... So Juls?

[Insanityfair]

Oh no, this thread had to go there.....

[Juls]

Let's get more background. How long have you been dating? Did you once live in the same place? When things were good, how often did you talk? What percent of the time did he call you?

With what you've said, I think it's probably time to let this one go. Long distance is tough enough to make work when both people are committed to trying. He's clearly not trying. I know it hurts, but all you need is time and you'll get over it.

We have been online dating since NOV 2004, Real life dating since Feb 10th 2005. When he came to Malaysia, he lived in my house for half a year then we both flew to Denmark. When things were good we talk almost everyday. I call him 80% of the time cuz he still hasn't found a job.

Ugh drop him.
This is the same behavior my ex had before he dropped me.
He was stationed in Japan at the time so we were doing the long distance thing.

After awhile, he started blowing me off to play a game or he just wouldnt log on AIM when he was on break from watch. I had revolved my whole life around him and his schedule in Japan and he would just blow me off.

I had(have) dependency issues so I wouldnt recognize this as him blowing me off, I saw it as him just being tired, whatever.
I finally confronted him about it, and he said he was tired of dragging it out just to save my feelings and he dumped me. He's the only guy to ever dump me so I was crushed, I still have sore feelinsg about it now, 3or so years later.

Get rid of him now before you get hurt.

This is what i feel deeply. but hearing a little from his brother and my friends it may be elsewise.
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Here is the update : -

I called him on Monday night.. When australia was playing..I asked him what's wrong why didn't he call me.. his reply "i dont know" I asked him were we still together? his reply"i dont know" i asked him does he still love me?? His answer " i dont know" During that moment.. it felt like the world paused.I really thought exactly what Darcler said. Then he said this statement "B, Friday i got rejected from work interview again. I don't think it's ever possible for you to come Denmark. Both u and me can't afford it."

That night, i decided in order for me to be able to give up, i HAVE to do 1 last stupid thing, Fly there to make things clear with him. I didn't care if i had to beg or borrow the money.. i just wanted to go there and clear things off.

I called his brother seeking advise, the brother told me he has been shutitng off the whole family lately due to his problems and all. The brother asked me to talk to him whether i should come denmark or not. So at last i called him again...

This time he talked to me in a better tone. I asked him if it was okay for me to go Denmark to clear things with him. His answer was "give me some time to settle my problems here first. You coming will add to my problem." I know you care for me but i need my time alone first.
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SO i've decided to hold on a ltitle and see what god has plans for me.

PS : Mark, the gangsta dude has a girlfriend... and we are just friends.

[Darcler]

Ew honey, do not fly there. Do not do not do not.

You *are* going to break up. There is no way around that. Do it over the phone and save the $300 and a bad flight home.

It's going to hurt. It's probably going to hurt a lot, but do not go there. You are too good to hang on this guy....a loser he seems to me.

He doesnt even see you two as together anymore, he would have given a better answer than "i dont know".
Dump him and go clubbing with friends. Anything to get your mind off him.

[Insanityfair]

Ew honey, do not fly there. Do not do not do not.

You *are* going to break up. There is no way around that. Do it over the phone and save the $300 and a bad flight home.

It's going to hurt. It's probably going to hurt a lot, but do not go there. You are too good to hang on this guy....a loser he seems to me.

He doesnt even see you two as together anymore, he would have given a better answer than "i dont know".
Dump him and go clubbing with friends. Anything to get your mind off him.

Good advice right there. You know what? I can see that he might be having problems and shutting you out to a degree...but to say he doesn't know if he loves you anymore or if you're together? F that. Don't waste your money or anyone's money to fly to another country for someone that doesn't even know what he wants. Tell him you're done. And that while he has problems especially given the distance between you two, that it isn't fair to you for him to string you along and shut you out. He won't let you help him, or be his shoulder even, do you even want to go out there, spend all that money to more than likely be rejected again? Keep in mind a real couple shares their problems and helps each other work them out. He's not holding up his end of the couple.

[Juls]

i can't. I still believe he still loves me and the only reason why he was shutting me and his family out is because of his financial, jobless and all problems. I dont want us to break up,, but if i do go to Denmark and if he tells me in my face he doesnt want me anymore, i'll be a lot more satisfied. It'll hurt more of course but at least i can see.

ps: its $ 870 to go Denmark.

[Insanityfair]

Financial problems...jobless...and plays WoW

When did he become jobless, and was it some time after he started playing WoW?

[Insanityfair]

p.s. you are too good for him

[Darcler]

He loves you when it's convienient. He doesnt even know if he considers being together with you. That's not how a relationship works.

He is shutting you out. Out of everyone, you should be the person he confides in.

I can tell you, first hand, that the planeride after him blowing you off in his hometown, is the worst ride in the world.

Dont do it.

[Juls]

he was jobless before he played WoW. He has been jobless since he gratuated, since he step his foot back to DEnmark when i went back with him in NOV 2005. He didnt wanna look for one when i was there during Nov - Jan 2006 cuz he wanted to spend time with me, then i came back to malaysia, He has been searching for work eversince and getting rejected too..

=========================
Darcler : main reason why he didnt confide me is cuz i was togehter with the family giving him shit about his WOW and him not gettng a job. Actually i give him the most drama then anyone else in his family would give him. And now i regret it

[Darcler]

You have every single reason to give him shit about playing WoW over finding a job. His family does as well.

He is selfish if he just wants to do what he wants to do and not be a responsible adult.

Do you seriously want to stay together with someone whose priorities are that messed up?

[Gaazy]

fuck that buy 870 worth of booze and have a party

[Captain Insano]

Let's get more background. How long have you been dating? Did you once live in the same place? When things were good, how often did you talk? What percent of the time did he call you?

With what you've said, I think it's probably time to let this one go. Long distance is tough enough to make work when both people are committed to trying. He's clearly not trying. I know it hurts, but all you need is time and you'll get over it.

We have been online dating since NOV 2004, Real life dating since Feb 10th 2005. When he came to Malaysia, he lived in my house for half a year then we both flew to Denmark. When things were good we talk almost everyday. I call him 80% of the time cuz he still hasn't found a job.

Ugh drop him.
This is the same behavior my ex had before he dropped me.
He was stationed in Japan at the time so we were doing the long distance thing.

After awhile, he started blowing me off to play a game or he just wouldnt log on AIM when he was on break from watch. I had revolved my whole life around him and his schedule in Japan and he would just blow me off.

I had(have) dependency issues so I wouldnt recognize this as him blowing me off, I saw it as him just being tired, whatever.
I finally confronted him about it, and he said he was tired of dragging it out just to save my feelings and he dumped me. He's the only guy to ever dump me so I was crushed, I still have sore feelinsg about it now, 3or so years later.

Get rid of him now before you get hurt.

This is what i feel deeply. but hearing a little from his brother and my friends it may be elsewise.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is the update : -

I called him on Monday night.. When australia was playing..I asked him what's wrong why didn't he call me.. his reply "i dont know" I asked him were we still together? his reply"i dont know" i asked him does he still love me?? His answer " i dont know" During that moment.. it felt like the world paused.I really thought exactly what Darcler said. Then he said this statement "B, Friday i got rejected from work interview again. I don't think it's ever possible for you to come Denmark. Both u and me can't afford it."

That night, i decided in order for me to be able to give up, i HAVE to do 1 last stupid thing, Fly there to make things clear with him. I didn't care if i had to beg or borrow the money.. i just wanted to go there and clear things off.

I called his brother seeking advise, the brother told me he has been shutitng off the whole family lately due to his problems and all. The brother asked me to talk to him whether i should come denmark or not. So at last i called him again...

This time he talked to me in a better tone. I asked him if it was okay for me to go Denmark to clear things with him. His answer was "give me some time to settle my problems here first. You coming will add to my problem." I know you care for me but i need my time alone first.
----------------------------------------------------------------
SO i've decided to hold on a ltitle and see what god has plans for me.

PS : Mark, the gangsta dude has a girlfriend... and we are just friends.

Did you online touch his pee-pee?

Seriously dude, don't waste your time. Longterm relationships just DON'T work... Just go have sex with Mark or some other guy from NT who lives in Malaysia.

[brinstar]

kick him to the curb he sounds like a goon anyway

[Juls]

well if i was him i would be stressed. Yea sure i have the right to pressure him but. lets say you are already pressured badly from everyone which is close around you. The only thing you need is someone that can be there for you to go to and not hear more bitching. You turn to your girlfriend.. she starts bitching.. non stop. So you turn to your WOW, shut and fuck the world. Go into virtual and be goD? i mean sometimes im over pressured i go gaming and fuck the world at times.

If this is truly his reason, i'd forgive him and hold on. If it isnt, i might just go kill myself.

Hasselholf : i will NEVER.. i repeat NEVER fuck mark lol

[Darcler]

No honey. You *should* be nagging. He is an adult. I assume 21+. I know for a fact that SOME PLACE is hiring, he just isnt putting the effort into looking. He wont look at jobs that he thinks are below him, even though it's to get some money in his pocket.
Example: McDonalds, a grocery store, a gas station.

He isnt putting any effort into this. You said that he is getting money to come see you. Well look how hard he is trying. He's sitting at home playing video games all day.
YOU of all people should be nagging him. It should be you that he really listens to. I know that Gid is the only person I actually take advice from, no matter what my parents or friends already tell me. It's how relationships work (uh, unless the advice is truely shitty, that is).

Everyone on this board has told you that this guy is no good and a complete loser and you can do SO much better. I know we dont have the best track record for giving relationship advice, but when not one person goes against what I've been saying, you know that we're right.
I'll say this and I'll copy it and paste it when I have to.
Do NOT go to Denmark. You will regret it deeply.
Cut him loose right now. Hell, you can even tell him that when he has his act together, he can get in touch with you, but that isnt preferable, considering his past.
Go out and have fun. You are young and should be going out, not stressing over someone in a different country.

[Juls]

He's 24. ya i guess everyone here is right. I'll try to let go now......

Thanks everyone. Love ya'all..

I thought it would get better but instead he is giving me the cold shoulders.. i guess it's time to let go and fuck the world

[Insanityfair]

i guess it's time to let go and fuck the world

I hear the world needs a good fuckin'...

Seriously though, good luck. Letting go is hard but in the end it will be easier than holding someone's hand who can't even keep their head out of their rectum.