Question for the ladies who have ever been in a relationship

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:44 pm

Is irresponsibility with money enough of a reason to break off a relationship?

Post by **Martrae** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:50 pm

Quit pushing him away....told you before. :P

Trielelvan · Post by **Trielelvan** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:58 pm

That depends greatly on exactly what kind of irresponsiblity you are talking about, and what kind of relationship you have with one another.

Spill woman.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:12 pm

Found out he is an habitual liar for one. Rent is due on the first, and he doesnt have it, even though he agreed to be responsible for hte rent since I cover groceries, gas, smokes, other utitlities, and I cook and clean. He "lost" his wallet, but went to the bar with all of his friends when I went out of town the next day to pick u-p my son from the airport. He is always asking for money, I gave him $100 last week and he is always out of gas or smokes and borrowing money from his friends and family to hide it from me, yet insists he doesn't but w always owe his friends money. Every week, and always owe his parents money for something else every week. Thats the main overview.

brinstar · Post by **brinstar** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:18 pm

gambling problem

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:20 pm

no, im almost positive its drugs. Tha was one of the lies I caught him in, said he got out of rehab about 2 years ago and has been clean, found out from his mom its been less than a year, and he isnt clean. He smoked pot with my brother at a NIN concert.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:24 pm

What pissed me off is that he said his check was short this week, I fifured it would be, he had an episode because of the heat and was short in hours last week, understandable. Then he calls me back to tell me he was going to go grab Subway and asked what I wanted, I told him nothing, I had a turkey sandwich for lunch, I told him we still had turkey or corndogs, he threw a fit. I explaned that mney is tight for two weeks, and he went off about how he shouldnt be responsible for my part of the rent, etc etc even though when we found out I was pregnant, he made me quit 2 of my 3 part time jobs. I have a good job now, but I dont get my first check until the 11th

Trielelvan · Post by **Trielelvan** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:26 pm

Ouch.

You know, I had one of my typical book-length posts half written, then I deleted it. I can sum it up in 5 words.

Get the fuck out now.

Right. Fucking. Now.

I don't care how well they get along. Your son deserves better than a half-assed attempt at being an adult from this possible father-figure, and you have been through enough bullshit in the past with your ex-husband. I really don't think you want to go through all that headache again.

Get out.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:30 pm

Oh, and he is EXTREMELY jalous of my brother (who we also live with) Brothers birthday was Wednesday, so I bought him a cheap cake and made manicotti and he threw a FIT because I didnt do anything for his birthday. But I was planning on taking him to a nice dinner and to go clothes shopping, but he lost his wallet with his cashed paycheck in it. He said he doesnt like the fact htat my brother and I are very close, and he feels like an outsider. My brother even caught him looking through my brothers old check stubs. Its Dean's house, in his name, and he wants me to kick him out, I dont know what to do, because I cant swing the rent if I do.

Trielelvan · Post by **Trielelvan** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:31 pm

You heard me woman.

Minrott · Post by **Minrott** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:34 pm

^Agree

mofish · Post by **mofish** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:47 pm

This guy is bad news, will always be bad news. No reason to put up with any of that childish garbage.

brinstar · Post by **brinstar** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:10 pm

i've never had a live-in significant other so take this with a grain of salt

-but-

IMHO, "financial irresponsibility" is a symptom of a larger problem. paranoia, jealousy, unexplained cash flow problems, suspected drug use... all these things tell me that he is just not ready to be an adult yet (and perhaps he never will be).

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:15 pm

I agree with everybody else on this. GTFO now.

Captain Insano · Post by **Captain Insano** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:32 pm

yah bail fast.

Harrison · Post by **Harrison** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 6:06 pm

Hits too close to home for me to say much more than GTFO.

Diekan · Post by **Diekan** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:18 pm

The Kizzy wrote:Found out he is an habitual liar for one. Rent is due on the first, and he doesnt have it, even though he agreed to be responsible for hte rent since I cover groceries, gas, smokes, other utitlities, and I cook and clean. He "lost" his wallet, but went to the bar with all of his friends when I went out of town the next day to pick u-p my son from the airport. He is always asking for money, I gave him $100 last week and he is always out of gas or smokes and borrowing money from his friends and family to hide it from me, yet insists he doesn't but w always owe his friends money. Every week, and always owe his parents money for something else every week. Thats the main overview.

sigh.

take him back to the trailer park and leave him there.

OR

you could tell him that if he doesn't start acting right you'll take away his WWE and no more budwieser.

Jennay · Post by **Jennay** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:47 pm

Pabst Blue Ribbon Diekan lol

Post by **Martrae** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:56 pm

Ok...I thought you were just ragging on minor shit. This IS a valid reason to dump him. If you stay with him you will ALWAYS be afraid to answer the phone because of bill collectors, you will be evicted from house after house, you will constantly fight over bills and money.

Save yourself the aggravation and kick him out now. Things may be tight for a bit but you'll pull thru.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:50 pm

Agree with everyone. Love don't pay the bills.

Dylan · Post by **Dylan** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 9:12 pm

Stay with him, a woman has no place giving a man shit in circumstances.

You'd better shape up or you're gonna start getting bitchslapped imho.

Do the opposite btw... maybe even bitch slap him

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:10 pm

Well, I think he is really concerned about getting the rent paid. He asked his boss if he could mow the shop yard for some extra hours, and he is collecting on some old debt. HE told me this and then he left for the bar to meet the guy to collect the debt. SIGH :cry:

mofish · Post by **mofish** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:31 pm

You reap what you sow.

Insanityfair · Post by **Insanityfair** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 12:56 am

Don't make excuses for him. Read everything you just said about him outloud and ask yourself if you really want to deal with all of that long term. :umno:

Jazendar · Post by **Jazendar** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 1:19 am

You guys are telling her to leave someone in real life over a small discharge of information she provided about the guy while pissed off. Obviously there's two sides to every story, and i'm sure there are plenty of positive things about this dude. Only she knows, none of you should be telling her to get the fuck out when you know 3 sentences of their life together. Jeesus christ, you hear "He went to the bar to collect a pay stub he said!" and you guys automatically assume the guys out selling meth. For fucks sake give him a little bit of credit.

Theres only one way to live with someone else, split the bills 50% or find someway to reach a reasonable medium, or kiss your piss ant boyfriend goodbye. If he can't find a decent job, sucks for him and move on. You're in a pickle, but coming to a bunch people on the internet with tidbits of information looking for advice is just idiodic and attention fishing.