10sun wrote:We broke up in the middle of September when I found out about my new job which required me to relocate. Prior to that, we had been living together and she kept living at my house until just a few weeks ago.
The breakup was bad for her, she was a very dependant person who had a past of drug and alcohol abuse, but had stopped the drug abuse entirely and kept drinking to a minimum.
After the breakup, she relapsed pretty bad to my understanding. I kept telling her to seek help from a professional as I couldn't provide the help she needed, especially when I was living so far away.
I also asked her to respect my boundaries as she called me on average 7 times a day for 3 weeks immediately following my move.
At this point it looks like it was not a suicide which was what most people thought when I first mentioned it, but instead just an accident with painkillers and alcohol. I was told that the autopsy has not been completed yet and probably will not be for another week or so and so the funeral has been put off...
Her family is blaming me for this. I just got off the phone from getting a full update as to whats been happening.
-Adam
Her family is being ridiculous. Then again, I haven't heard their side of the story either. No one understands the responsibility of personal choice these days. Accept the consequences of the shit you do oh noez.
You can't blame the family for they have anger and it needs to be relieved. Over time I hope they can over come their blindness to know this was the girls fault / weakness.
I feel for you bro, you've just got the world put on your shoulders and you didn't even know it was coming.
Be strong, lean on your friends, family, as you must not be weak and must overcome this.
All that said, do not go to the funeral or IMHO even attempt to comfort the family, they need time, talk to whatever mutual friends you have had (as it seems your are) to get the "skinny".
Attitude and state of mind are powerful things. I believe they can cure cancer. Keep yours thought high, Know it wasn't your fault, do NOT second guess your decisions, etc.
EDIT
And got to WORK, you should not be sulking around over this. I realize things are raw but I'm telling you and ask yourself this. What benefit will it serve to react? What gain will be provided in action? You need to keep your mind busy, sulking is to depression what pot is to "harder drugs".
and I'm going to work tomorrow. I've got some bigshots flying in from our Atlanta branch & Holland main offices that I have to give a walkthrough of our facility to. No choices there.
sorry that their denial of how shitty they must have been to her for her whole entire life is being brushed off on you...i mean, if a chic dies from od..that means her life wasn't all peaches and cream...ok so let's blame the boyfriend who just came into the picture! woohoo! that will really explain things at the family reunion...
Man, that's really rough. I can't imagine having a conversation like you just had with them. Hang in there. It sounds like you did the right thing by her.
I'm sorry for her family's misdirected anger towards you. Hopefully they will come to terms and realize their daughter was sick and needed help, unfortunatly she never got it. I'm also sorry for your loss, even if you were no longer with her I am sure it is hard in a way because you did share a good part of your life with her.
Donnel wrote:
Erodalak wrote:Who needs an education when you are hawt like advina
i think the family is blaming you cuz she started drugs again due to the breakup??? but then again if it wasnt for you she wouldnt have stopped anyways...
You get so wasted you forget how much you've already taken vs deliberately taking more and more until you die.
Inside each person lives two wolves. One is loyal, kind, respectful, humble and open to the mystery of life. The other is greedy, jealous, hateful, afraid and blind to the wonders of life. They are in battle for your spirit. The one who wins is the one you feed.
**attention adam (10sun)** do not read this post and if you do just know I said don't
interestingly, accidental overdose is probably the best way to go, if you're going to choose how you die, I mean. let's consider this:
you were having a good time
you probably felt pretty good
you didn't get shot, drowned, stabbed or burned to death
you had no idea anything was going to happen at all (similar to dying while sleeping, which most people probably prefer)
it would very much suck though, considering what people would say about you afterward. but then again, if you die that way, what were they saying before. either way, the end of a life is a sad time for many people. dying from an overdose is ironic especially when it's accidental. and i don't think all people that die under those circumstances were losers. what people seem to forget is that drug use for many people is as much of their identity as their hair color.
it's interesting that considering drugs and their use are illegal, we have rehab centers and it is very expensive to get good help. getting help also means facing the law and nobody wants to do that. they are a huge part of the country, the "drug users" and noone embraces them because helping them might mean forgiving them even for breaking the law and being a human with a problem. many people do not tolerate the law being broken and literally do not care if you kill yourself using drugs. how many times have you heard "legalize it and let them kill themselves off"
and then-you do everything you can for someone, if you're not one of those people that turns their head, and you stick it out with them as much as you can and as long as you can.
but you only keep getting hurt over and over. there is nothing wrong with having to make the decision to cut ties with a person who's addicted to drugs that you can no longer help or love.
