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Sandiani Gargamellow 88 Wizard · by **Gargamellow** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:06 am

I think loyalty comes naturally with love. If you love someone, you want to be loyal to them. If you don't, then you isrespect them by fucking other people.

Sometimes people think they are in love. But they aren' in love, they are in lust. Eventually the sex will fizzle out and then there will be nothing left to talk about.

I prefer conversation over sex. That's why I don't mind staying with Virra who is only 1/4 the horndog I am. He and I make great conversation together.

People who cheat usually can cheat again. People who don't normally cheat can cheat. I consider it less loyal to cheat the longer the relationship has been going on.

I mean seriously, how could you hurt someone after being together for years? It doesn't make any sense. By then I think people should have made their realizations and spared everyone the embarressment of watching the relationship die slowly.

If the relationship isn't working, perhaps it is time to look at the actual relationship and study it from an outsider's point of view. If what you see makes you want to throw up, perhaps you should do some moving on and getting over it.

My views on love are all fucked up. However, I do believe in true love. I don't believe it conquers all, but I do believe it will cure sadness for anyone.

People need to just let themselves be happy most of the time. Happiness is often ignored for other petty bullshit that brings down even the strongest of relationships someitmes.

I guess what I am saying here is that love is work. If you don't like work, don't waste anyone's time trying to be in love.

by **Eziekial** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:28 am

Wow. Just WOW. You are admitting going "psycho-bitch" and slapping your boyfriend "as hard as i could" over what some tramp says that you've correctly assessed as being fucked up?
How do you think your boyfriend feels? He just hangs out with some friends and yes, there was a girl there and they talked but nothing happened so why should he tell you about it? You've been dating for a short time, he doesn't want to upset you, they suck as friends so let it be. You find out and go crazy over this so why, WHY on God's green earth will he tell you anything else that could be misconstrued by you? What are you trying to accomplish here? Are you really that upset over this or is there an underlying issues you can't come to grips with so you've blown this way out of proportion? I'm assuming you are a great girlfriend. I am assuming you have a loving relationship with this guy. I'm also assuming that he must really, really love you to tolerate your over reaction. If you feel the same way about him, then forget this and MOVE THE FUCK ON!
But that's just me.
Hugs and kisses....

by **Jay** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:48 am

I actually read that whole thing. One thing I noticed is that no where did your boyfriend take a defensive stance. Example: Saying "Why should I have to call Girl#1? You don't trust me?". He called, he didn't pull up any complaint about the trust factor. He distances himself from these people for your benefit. I have a feeling alcohol and ex got involved, she did something, he was in a compromising decision and then ended up making the difficult choice to be faithful. Yeah you did overeact. I'm shocked that he just took it like that. The guy must be a saint.

Oh and also, he's a rockstar. I'm sure he gets pussy flung at him everytime he does a show. Why not just let the guy get his rocks off? I mean, the thought process is a little different, but really sex is trivial for most men. It's a visual stimulant, not an emotional one like it is for women generally. It's just getting a nut off. Mentally he could love you just as much as he did before nailing some other ho and that would eliminate any trust issues entirely.

by **The Kizzy** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:08 pm

Mindia brings up a good point. You know your boyfriend better than anyone else? Deep down how do you truly feel?

by **Tossica** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:15 pm

My first thought is that your boyfriend fucked up at some point and the truth probably lies somewhere in between the two sides of the story.

by **Minrott** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:40 pm

I think you just have trust issues like most women.

Sandiani Gargamellow 88 Wizard · by **Gargamellow** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:56 pm

i think some people should learn the respect of a phone call and how it can benefit a relationship greatly

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:13 pm

The Kizzy wrote:Guess you ahev to ask yourself a few questions, but before we get to those, I should say that it is obvious that all the girls are jealous because you are smoking hot, and you have the guy that they obviously want.

kizzy you are sweet for being so complimentary to me I really do appreciate it =)

First question.........if he did cheat on you so early in the relationship, would you be willing to forgive and work on it? I think that the answer is yes, because it is obvious how you feel about him, and if this is so........then forget about that. Don't let it bother you. But, you should owrry about WOULD HE DO IT AGAIN. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone.

I did consider that when I made my choice after this happened. In my mind, honestly kizzy-I knew he did it. It was way down, my gut I guess. But when I considered the explanations logically-and I did try-and he's staring me in the face saying "I didn't do it." I had to consider, "what if he didn't do it?" so-to answer your question...I gave him the benefit of the doubt really. based on the fact that I'm not stupid. and that is where your second question comes in...well if he does it again, then obviously it's up to me to end the relationship at that point. and I certainly would of course. but no matter what, anytime you have to decide whether or not to believe someone-what you're doing, in essence, is accepting what they've done somewhere. I chose to not punish him for it after it was over (bring it up later in fights aka throw it in his face) and to accept his explanation.

this is where I am with him now-I've been faithful for three years. he knows that. he knows I want to have children soon (four years). he knows I won't marry someone and if I did he'd have to have been faithful and his conscience is REAL big. we have been very close lately and my trust in him has come around again. I question nothing. I only doubt myself when I think of them because there are so many bad memories there.

Second question....to what degree are they in your lives now?

I haven't seen any of them in over a year except that one chick who shoved up against me at the bar.

Is he still in the band with them or their boyfirends?

no

You can't let their jealousy run your life. It is their problem not yours. Sounds like you guys should sit and have a talk and try to figure out how to write them off. If the slutbags show up where you guys are, "accidently" trip the whore.

Going to bed, good luck!!!

I agree, and I've seen it as jealousy and moved on. It's funny you mention "accidentally" tripping her, because a friend of mine went with me to a show once and kicked girl #3 in the back of the leg for pushing me. and she kicked her really hard too >< I didn't want them to even think it was me because I just won't respond to that kind of stupidity.

but when I let myself get mad, I really could see myself fighting them one by one and really kicking the shit out of them. the problem is that I struggle with my confidence in making the decision I made. I decided to trust him again, and those feelings get foggy when those people try to enter my life. and then I lose control of my feelings and I get angry and I want to fight them. that's pretty much the jist of it. how do I stay cool, haha. cause, if he really fucked around on me, I don't think I'll be so cool. he says I'm the cats pajamas though. and I won't marry him if he fucked around. that's that.

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:23 pm

Eziekial wrote:Wow. Just WOW. You are admitting going "psycho-bitch" and slapping your boyfriend "as hard as i could" over what some tramp says that you've correctly assessed as being fucked up?
How do you think your boyfriend feels? He just hangs out with some friends and yes, there was a girl there and they talked but nothing happened so why should he tell you about it? You've been dating for a short time, he doesn't want to upset you, they suck as friends so let it be. You find out and go crazy over this so why, WHY on God's green earth will he tell you anything else that could be misconstrued by you? What are you trying to accomplish here? Are you really that upset over this or is there an underlying issues you can't come to grips with so you've blown this way out of proportion? I'm assuming you are a great girlfriend. I am assuming you have a loving relationship with this guy. I'm also assuming that he must really, really love you to tolerate your over reaction. If you feel the same way about him, then forget this and MOVE THE FUCK ON!
But that's just me.
Hugs and kisses....

I have put myself in my boyfriend's position, and the one that he gave me to be in was- hanging out with another chick when I was with my son at my parents for the weekend and her story is that they faux-fucked and his story is nothing happened and honestly, his position sounds like he wasn't really thinking of me very much. when I asked him to tell me what happened his first reaction and words to me were "You don't want to know."

he got busted-for something-and if you think I over reacted then I commend your good behavior in relationships and will go ahead and assume you've never broken someone's heart so much that it hurt to the point of rage. I felt deceived in the worst way. he disrespected my honor. He either took it because he knew he didn't do it or he's really sorry but I don't fuck around, and I don't think I over reacted. He didn't have to deal with that if he didn't choose to.

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:32 pm

Jay wrote:I actually read that whole thing. One thing I noticed is that no where did your boyfriend take a defensive stance. Example: Saying "Why should I have to call Girl#1? You don't trust me?". He called, he didn't pull up any complaint about the trust factor. He distances himself from these people for your benefit. I have a feeling alcohol and ex got involved, she did something, he was in a compromising decision and then ended up making the difficult choice to be faithful. Yeah you did overeact. I'm shocked that he just took it like that. The guy must be a saint.

Oh and also, he's a rockstar. I'm sure he gets pussy flung at him everytime he does a show. Why not just let the guy get his rocks off? I mean, the thought process is a little different, but really sex is trivial for most men. It's a visual stimulant, not an emotional one like it is for women generally. It's just getting a nut off. Mentally he could love you just as much as he did before nailing some other ho and that would eliminate any trust issues entirely.

maybe he is a saint. I did see Jesus in his eyes once. and he was born on Christmas. but I also saw the devil...

yah he's a rockstar and he's sexy and the girls do want him. that is no lie. and I know that and I'm not stupid and I tell him that I know these things and that it's whatever and I can be understanding blah blah blah...
he knows what is sexy and he knows I know and trust me he is just a sexual guy so I worry some. he worries about me for the same reason but we do trust each other. It's important to him, too. I encourage him all the time to be himself and do his own thing no matter what. He can get caught up in me and what I'm doing and forget his own life. I keep him from doing that-he's fucking lazy. It's not my fault he doesn't call his friends. He really is just a passive guy who plays music and is cool as shit. I always did want someone bad on the outside good on the inside. maybe they should be cool instead of being jerks.

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:33 pm

Gargamellow wrote:i think some people should learn the respect of a phone call and how it can benefit a relationship greatly

who do you think I should call?

by **Phlegm** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:45 pm

araby wrote:
Gargamellow wrote:i think some people should learn the respect of a phone call and how it can benefit a relationship greatly

who do you think I should call?

Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer, either one would be appropriate for your situation.

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:00 pm

see, you might see it as something entertaining or whatever point you're getting at and that's fine. I really do think I've handled it very well and consider my position a truly difficult one to be in.

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:03 pm

faith hill is singing You Lie at the Reba McEntire benefit right now on tv :rofl:

I forgot how much I used to love that song.

by **leah** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:57 pm

you'll kill yourself with "what ifs" and thinking about what might've happened . . . i think ultimately you'll just have to decide whether or not you trust him and if you do trust him then FULLY trust him and if you don't, either work on that or call it quits.

scott's a good guy, i like him a lot. i would perhaps just decide that you love him and trust him, and turn your brain off and enjoy your love. don't be stupid or blind--keep your ears on--but don't let this ruin the relationship if you feel like you truly have a future with him.

them's my two cents. ^_^

also! talking about faith hill and reba mcintyre makes me think of bonnie raitt and that one song she sings that makes me cry pretty much every time i hear it--"i can't make you love me"

yikes that song's a killer!

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:04 pm

This Reba McEntire tribute is really very touching.

by **Jay** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:15 pm

araby wrote:
Jay wrote:I actually read that whole thing. One thing I noticed is that no where did your boyfriend take a defensive stance. Example: Saying "Why should I have to call Girl#1? You don't trust me?". He called, he didn't pull up any complaint about the trust factor. He distances himself from these people for your benefit. I have a feeling alcohol and ex got involved, she did something, he was in a compromising decision and then ended up making the difficult choice to be faithful. Yeah you did overeact. I'm shocked that he just took it like that. The guy must be a saint.

Oh and also, he's a rockstar. I'm sure he gets pussy flung at him everytime he does a show. Why not just let the guy get his rocks off? I mean, the thought process is a little different, but really sex is trivial for most men. It's a visual stimulant, not an emotional one like it is for women generally. It's just getting a nut off. Mentally he could love you just as much as he did before nailing some other ho and that would eliminate any trust issues entirely.

maybe he is a saint. I did see Jesus in his eyes once. and he was born on Christmas. but I also saw the devil...

yah he's a rockstar and he's sexy and the girls do want him. that is no lie. and I know that and I'm not stupid and I tell him that I know these things and that it's whatever and I can be understanding blah blah blah...
he knows what is sexy and he knows I know and trust me he is just a sexual guy so I worry some. he worries about me for the same reason but we do trust each other. It's important to him, too. I encourage him all the time to be himself and do his own thing no matter what. He can get caught up in me and what I'm doing and forget his own life. I keep him from doing that-he's fucking lazy. It's not my fault he doesn't call his friends. He really is just a passive guy who plays music and is cool as shit. I always did want someone bad on the outside good on the inside. maybe they should be cool instead of being jerks.

Oh shit, marry me right now.

by **Mop** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:17 pm

Sometimes a cucumber tastes better pickled.

by **Jay** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:22 pm

In all seriousness, deceit is required for there to be cheating. If you let him do his thing and make reasonable guidelines for your safety reasons then I really don't see why not. Beyond that, he'd never EVER have a reason to lie to you and who knows, it might be something exciting for you too. I'm not saying become a full on swinger, but more or less let him have some fun on the side as long as he's honest about who he's coming home to and supporting.

by **leah** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:43 pm

Mop wrote:Sometimes a cucumber tastes better pickled.

pickles are cucumbers soaked in EVIL

by **Jay** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:46 pm

stop capitalizing!

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:01 pm

evil is pickled in cuntflaps

Sandiani Gargamellow 88 Wizard · by **Gargamellow** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:33 pm

jay u have no concept of morality you slut! you need to live in a country where u can have a harem of women

I'm not saying become a full on swinger, but more or less let him have some fun on the side as long as he's honest about who he's coming home to and supporting.

man whore

by **Jay** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:52 pm

Who said anything about being a man whore, I'm not saying bang 5 chicks a day, I'm saying if he's touring again and something happens, he should be able to be honest about his rockstar life without tripping out about about his girlfriend leaving him.

by **araby** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:54 pm

well I *am* thirty now. technically I should be a swinger. or married at least. then a swinger. (we do things backwards in my family anyway.)

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