The Epiphany

[Diekan]

So, I just got back from what was possibly the absolute worst date I have ever been on.

About three weeks ago (or so) I was downtown with a friend and happened to run into a group of women. One of which happened to be someone I had a crush of sorts from about six years (actually ever male on the campus wanted her)... anyway she was with someone else at the time, so I didn't bother to so much as even make light coversation. The friend I was with happened to know one of the women - they dated for some time - and they chatted it up.

Well, a few days ago my buddy tells me that so and so really wants me to call her and set something up (date wise). Of course I'm shocked because she seemed fairly into the guy she was with that night. I get her number and call - after about a 30 minute coversation I ask her to dinner, her choice. I completely MISSED the first clue of what would come to be a horrible night. She chose one the most expensive places in the S.A.V (that Savannah for you non-southern mofos).

So we meet and of course the place has an hour wait - we end up at the bar and talk over a glass of wine. That's when it officially began - the onslought of pretentiousness and shallowness. She asked about some of my preveious relationships (which I thought a bit strange, usually most women don't want to hear about past lovers, etc). I told her about one women I dated who waited tables. At hearing this, her eyes grew wide and she started to laugh. Her words were and I quote literally, "Why in the world would someone like you date someone like a waitress?" I should have gotten up and walked about at that point. But being the stupid male I am - and the fact that this particular chick is quite hot (long dark curly hair, fake chest, dark completion, nice everything) I was still clammering to the hope that I'd have her back to my place before night's end.

But, it didn't stop there. I listened for the next two hours about how gorgeous she was and how she's dated some of richest and most influencial men in the city... how she's extremely difficult to please and how her expectations are very high.

Then she started to "count strikes." Yes, my NT addicts... "strikes." I ordered red wine with my fish and not white (that apparently was strike 1). I didn't fold my napkin a certain way before putting it on my lap - that was strike two. So on...

At that point I realized this chick had issues - major issues. But, hey I hadn't eaten all day and be damned or high water I am going to eat my fish and enjoy it. Then toward the end, she started in on me. After telling my story of having come up from poverty to where I am now. She started to attack my history and how "people like me" just get lucky now and then. Now I'm steaming. But, rather than make a scene I waited to diekanize her ass until we were in the parking lot. Then on the way out of the place - I cooled down and was looking for nothing more than to get into my car and head home. Until.... until she commented on the bill. "I only cost you 60 dollars? Uh... I usually cost at least 200 on a first date!"

That was that last straw.

I informed her that she wasn't much different from a cheap hooker - using her looks to get free dinners and gifts. In fact if she was so inclined I'd be willing to pay for services to be rendered at my place. Why not just save us both the time? I asked her why such a fine catch as herself, with her royal blue blood upbringing was struggling to get by working as a book keeper for a small time, fly by night construction company?

A few other choice comments were made on my part - which prompted her to slam her car door shut and speed off.

And I was so hoping for a second date!

Regardless of how attractive she is - I can honestly say there's no way in hell I could have gotten it up for her - if she had come back to my place.

So, on my way home I come to a stop light, next to a bus stop and see a guy standing there. Dressed in clad clothing, heading to no where. And, it dawned on me. Have "I" become this pretentous dick? I have become that which I've always hated and detested with a venom? The answer was, yes. I know this because with the "old me" - such a shallow gold digger wouldn't have lasted two seconds in my company - much less an entire dinner. I know this because the "old me" would have cut her off and slammed the door in her face - but tonight I actually caught myself trying to play up to the part.

Turns out - maybe this wasn't such a bad date after all. Perhaps it takes people like that to open our eyes and force to remember who we really are and to save us from crossing "that line" for good.

Oh well - perhaps I should call and thank her for reminding me....

[Phlegm]

I think you should move away from Savannah before you kill somebody.

[Dylan]

How many novels are you gonna write on this forum.

[Jay]

The rules have changed. Some red wines are totally cool with fish, like Pinot Noir. Did you order a Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot or something?

[araby]

haha I just want to say, before I go any further (past the first glance that it's long and about a woman) that I said out loud, "this ought to be good" as soon as I read the title/author hehe

[araby]

diek with people who think like that-it's okay to go ahead and talk shit to them right to their face in some funny way and then laugh like you were joking. (they don't care what you think anyway-and probably won't get it if you're good.) smile at them and make your eyes really big and drink your wine really fast. she would get all freaked out and leave and stop costing you money/time.

[Tossica]

Diekan,

About 4% of the population are actually human beings, the other 96% of population are nothing but shallow cunts and narrow minded douchebags. I suggest you seek out that 4% and make those your coworkers, friends and girlfriends. I figured this out in high school and life has been smooth sailing for the most part since then. The fewer douchebags and cunts you associate with on a daily basis the better your outlook on the human race will become.

Oh yeah, turning off the TV makes a HUGE improvement as well but if I recall correctly, you don't watch TV so +1. The TV is a huge window to "their" world and it's pretty fucking repulsive.

[KaiineTN]

That's why I stopped watching MTV and all that bullshit back in high school. If I watch tv, it's usually Cartoon Network (Adult Swim) or Comedy Central, or possibly HBO. You're so right about that Toss, it being a window into "their world," I have no doubt that many (not all) people who watch the Real World, Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City, and all that are influenced strongly by the behavior they see there.

And Diekan, I think this girl just wants to be seen as high class, she wont let herself be seen as anything less. She'll have to realize the hard facts one day though, maybe you actually ended up helping her. I'm glad you finally did speak up at the end of the night, because people like her need to be told off. You did a good job representing the males. /clap

[mappatazee]

So, I just got back from what was possibly the absolute worst date I have ever been on.

About three weeks ago (or so) I was downtown with a friend and happened to run into a group of women. One of which happened to be someone I had a crush of sorts from about six years (actually ever male on the campus wanted her)... anyway she was with someone else at the time, so I didn't bother to so much as even make light coversation. The friend I was with happened to know one of the women - they dated for some time - and they chatted it up.

Well, a few days ago my buddy tells me that so and so.........zzzzZZZZzzzz

[Tae-Bo]

man you handled it wrong by even letting her start in on that shit in the firstp lace

[The Kizzy]

If you were to watch SNL, you would have none what to do in this situation, I refer you to the Ludacris show. He did a segment on couples counseling, and basically, you should have bitchslapped her.

[The Kizzy]

HA I found it on Youtube. WATCH IT AND LEARN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC4e8HxHnwg

[Dylan]

I love Ludacris, especially in Crash.

[Lueyen]

I informed her that she wasn't much different from a cheap hooker - using her looks to get free dinners and gifts. In fact if she was so inclined I'd be willing to pay for services to be rendered at my place. Why not just save us both the time? I asked her why such a fine catch as herself, with her royal blue blood upbringing was struggling to get by working as a book keeper for a small time, fly by night construction company?

[Lionking]

Regardless of how attractive she is - I can honestly say there's no way in hell I could have gotten it up for her - if she had come back to my place.

LMAO, sure Diekan, sure. Keep telling yourself that.

[kaharthemad]

Regardless of how attractive she is - I can honestly say there's no way in hell I could have gotten it up for her - if she had come back to my place.

LMAO, sure Diekan, sure. Keep telling yourself that.

You would have man...and you would have then Screamed "FOR RALF!!!" and jammed it in her ass.

[ybik gnome]

Hmmm,

There are about 4% actual people out there, but the problem is so many people try and fake there way in but are soon found out.

Hmmm, Im a cheap ass mofo. I can actually say I value a single dollar more then some tail, so if this was me, and she said I only cost you 60$. I would of pointblank asked her for 60$ to cover her portion of the bill. Im one of her "lucky people" who get a break, and know the value of a dollar, and can safely say its worth alot more then some cheap ass sex in which I could get better from myself~

[araby]

I really and truly don't understand what kind of people diekan surrounds himself with, either. I've spent time in savannah though I do not live there-and people seemed normal enough. hell charleston is FULL of pretentious bitches and ho's and I only know one chick off hand that would probably behave that way-but she's a patient I don't know her personally.

[Menlaan]

I'm just shocked that "one of the most expensive restaurants in Savannah only cost you $120 for two people incl drinks...

[Tossica]

I'm just shocked that "one of the most expensive restaurants in Savannah only cost you $120 for two people incl drinks...

Yeah, that's a pretty weak bill as far as fancy restaurants go. $1200 would be more impressive.

[Ginzburgh]

There are more pretentious bitches in one square block in NYC than there is in all of Georgia.

[Menlaan]

There are more pretentious bitches in one square block in NYC than there is in all of Georgia.

A girl I'm dating didn't want to go to a restaurant I picked out b/c it wasn't 'convenient' for her because it was in SoHo and she lives in the Upper East Side (about a $15 cab ride for those unfamiliar with NY). The funny thing is that she's between jobs right now!

EDIT: and for further context, that restaurant would have been on the order of $250, but we drink a lot

[Ginzburgh]

Where do you live Menlaan?

[Menlaan]

I live in alphabet city, and I work in midtown west

[araby]

well everyone knows southern women are sweeter anyway

except that one.