How to Guarantee to get a speeding ticket

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:50 am

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until 6 feet wide".

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:10 am

I love that joke... I'm telling that one to everyone :lol:

Gaazy · Post by **Gaazy** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:05 pm

haha pretty good

you googled that joke to everyone?

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:22 pm

no i figured it would get around from here. first time I had seen it. thought it was funny

Darcler · Post by **Darcler** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:24 pm

he was talking to kinghooter.

stop using the god damned google icon. you arent using it correctly. holy shit dude.

Gaazy · Post by **Gaazy** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:37 pm

haha yeah sorry kahar not you buddy

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:36 pm

ahh ok...Not functioning on all pistons....The Boss is going to the doc. decided to switch us to decafinated since he has to do it for a week we have to suffer too. So my uptake on info is poor

Gaazy · Post by **Gaazy** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:41 pm

haha i know how ya feel

Naethyn · Post by **Naethyn** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:42 pm

kaharthemad · Post by **kaharthemad** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:45 pm

was a repost I think...cant remember

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 5:03 pm

fuck, i do use that damn thing all the time. can someone tell me what the fucking thing means? :google:

j/k

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:37 pm

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:39 pm

kinghooter00 wrote:fuck, i do use that damn thing all the time. can someone tell me what the fucking thing means? j/k

It means you should go get a jacket with razorblades all over it and hug an aids patient.