detecting keyloggers

[Harrison]

I give complete and total trust, until given reason not to. I have no jealous bone in my body up until it's brought out of me by force.

She can hang out with men all day, talk to them just as much as me, hang out with other men etc.

The second she crosses "the line", and I always do find out, it's over and she'll likely never gain that 100% level back from me. I may take her back one way or another, but that trust is almost assuredly never returning. If it does, it was sure as fuck worked hard for.

[araby]

the question is, how do you get it back. is that even possible? isn't love tainted at that point? hehe I said taint.

[Harrison]

I'm a pushover, keep whatever level of trust I let you have long enough (emphasize long) after that and I will give it back most likely. It's not like a timer that just goes "DING". I'm a forgiving person and I can't stay pissed off for too long by nature.

I'd even take my ex back right about now. Even tentatively hoping she can be who she was before she was an addict I would. I wasn't friends with her for 10 years because she was a bad person.

[araby]

so what do you do if you don't repress your anger, but you don't get over it either? like every day, you can picture yourself beating the shit out of this girl's face.

and what about other suspects that haven't done anything but are guilty by association...you begin to wonder about "who else" and ponder past things you've heard them tell their friends like "that's why I love you"

[Harrison]

I'm confused by the way you worded those questions...

I don't repress my feelings or issues anymore, haven't for years now really. If something is bothering me, I bring it up as soon as it's appropriate. I know all too well what happens if I let it sit inside, festering.

[Arlos]

Well, there's got to be something GENERATING the anger, yes? If your partner is doing something that is continually pissing you off, it's up to you to discuss the issue with them. If it's an irrational anger, and you can be made to see that and thus get past it, great. If it's got a real basis in something, then your partner should work to fix it, or at least meet you halfway, if they have any actual regard for you. If it's got a real basis, and your partner doesn't care or doesn't have any desire to fix it, then you should end the relationship, as obviously you shouldn't be in a relationship where you're angry all the time.

It all comes down to communication and compromise. No one gets everything they want all of the time. If you do, it's not a real relationship, it's got at least 1 side being completely subservient, and that's generally not healthy. (yes, I know there are some people that prefer D/S type relationships, but that's an entirely seperate kettle of fish, I'm discussing more normal/typical relationships here.)

Ideally, the person you're involved with should be your best friend, as well as your partner. They should care as much (or nearly as much anyway) about your feelings as about their own, and you should feel the same about them. Sure, we all have annoying little habits and foibles that will grate on our partner's nerves, but being annoyed at someone leaving dirty socks on the floor is a very different thing than a behavior pattern that makes someone "picture yourself beating the shit out of this girl's face".

-Arlos

[Harrison]

Exactly!