Hard family times

[kinghooter00]

no, but okay. Chances are, as of now, that we can't do it anyways, because the father won't sign the papers. She didn't bring it up. It was a mutual discussion. I understand what you guys are saying on both sides, but it really only depends on the relationship and outcome. It could be the best thing or the worst.
Diekan, your words of wisdom (on any women issue) always interests me. You are a funny man.
By the way

SAINTS FTW
COLTS FTW

[Diekan]

Yes we do.


One question though.
Whose name is on the birth certificate?

-Adam

Her fathers, which we are changing very soon.

That's brilliant! Adopt a child that ISN'T your... so when and if you get divorced not only will you have to pay alimony to her, but you're in for child support too!

This is why people here are making fun of you. You're doing shit that no one in their right mind would even think of.

You. do. not. have. to. adopt. a. child. to. love. that. child. and. take. care. of. that. child. Get it?

All you're doing is setting yourself up for a financial royal ass kicking when the marriage falls apart (if it does).

I'd bet money... REAL LIFE money that adopting her kid was her idea. But, you'll never admit to it - you'll come here and say it was all yours.

and so it begins.

I'm just pointing out a simple fact. When you adopt a child you become financially obligated to that child. When they get divorced (if they get divorced)- the courts don't care whether or not he fathered the child - because he adopted her - he IS subject to child support.

I think it's retarded to adopt a child... the last name has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with how you (as the step-father) raise the child, love the child, etc and etc... it's just a last name. Not to mention because this is a girl - she's probably going to get married one day and that last name will change anyway.

With the really great success rate of today's marriages... why would any man risk their financial future over nothing more than changing the last name of a child that isn't theirs biologically?

It's a risk not worth taking. If the child's mother in the situation is making that big of a push - you can bet your ass there's a motive behind it - and it ain't love.

Take it or leave it.... that's the way it is in the real world.

[Lyion]

Gotta agree with Diekan. It sounds like she was reluctant to get into the relationship. It also sounds like your relationship is rocky.

Harrison was right. We need some relevant information:

How old is this child again? How long have you been married? How old is this girl?

[kinghooter00]

2yrs old 1yr together.
Its not a rocky relationship. We only have one car so she has to stay home while i work because money is tight. She wasn't reluctant to get into the relationship. She didn't want her little girl around too many guys because she didn't want her to get confused. It took time. She doesn't have a motive at all.
I agree that it is a pretty risky thing to do. Sometimes though it just feels right. We've been living together as a family for awhile now. If i adopt Charlee ( thats her name ) or not, you are right, it won't effect how i care about her. But in all honesty, i don't want the fucking cocksucker of a father to think he can push back into her life somewhere down the road because he feels he has that right. He doesn't send money, he doesn't call but his side of the family always tries to push thereselves in. I don't like that.
I'm not too stupid about relationships anymore. I've been in a good 5yr trip from hell with an ex and learned valueble lessons on knowing when a bitch is fucking with your head, believe me. I came into this relationship with a good head on my shoulders.
She's a great chick, and plus she's hott. I'm sticking to my gunz on this one.

[kinghooter00]

yes i know it is a short time, so spare me the insults,plz.

[Lyion]

Unfortunately, he does have the right to come back and spend time with his daughter. Even if you adopt her, that still doesn't change the fact he is her father.

This is what we're trying to explain. When she had a child with this guy, regardless of anything else, she is bound to him for the next 18 years.

The next logical question is how old is she, and why in the world did she get pregnant with this guy? Despite the rhetoric to the contrary, it's easy NOT to get pregnant.

[kinghooter00]

just kinda happened. It wasn't planned.

[Jay]

Hey KH. Get your wife to post here.

[kinghooter00]

no no no
You guys are brutal and ruthless.i don't want you guys scaring her with your NT B/S.

[Jay]

So she's mentally incapable of handling us?

[araby]

So she's mentally incapable of handling us?

HEY BACK OFF ASSHOLE I just got my mind back.

[kinghooter00]

NO, the majority of you guys tend to be assholes. I come on here for humor. I wouldn't want you guys bashing her all the time or telling her how much of a loser you think i am.

[araby]

tell us what you think of yourself, kinghooter.

[kinghooter00]

Great drummer, easy going person who like a nice beer and some lounging time with friends and family. Thats the kind of person i am.

[araby]

what did you do to help your fiance?

[Narrock]

NO, the majority of you guys tend to be assholes. I come on here for humor. I wouldn't want you guys bashing her all the time or telling her how much of a loser you think i am.

I wouldn't say the majority of the people here tend to be assholes, but out of the approximate 40'ish regular posters, close to about half of them are clueless, disconnected-from-reality, asstarded trolls.

[araby]

speak for yourself "narrock."

[Narrock]

speak for yourself "narrock."

[kinghooter00]

shhhhhhhh. the games on.
I gave her a nice massage last night because her back was bothering her.

[araby]

shhhhhhhh. the games on.
I gave her a nice massage last night because her back was bothering her.

did you give her the massage with love?

[kinghooter00]

oh course.

[araby]

do you think she took it with love?

[kinghooter00]

lol, yeah. And took something else with love too.

[araby]

sounds like you're on the right track, but make sure you two are good to each other and the child, do everything with compassion and you can't be wrong in that. if you're pent up in any way, or anxious, it could affect her and vice versa. keep the air clear, communication open and she won't feel the need to get away from it. help make it pleasant.

[kinghooter00]

thanks, i'm always open with how i feel and she is too. We are good with that. Shes actually spending time with her friend alittle more now that has kids around the same age so thats cool.